Thursday, January 8, 2015

Healing Depression, Anxiety, Stress: Research and Resource Guide

————— Intro

Many people who request prayers ask for something specific, something small; but its obvious reading their requests and the manner in which they are worded that often what people need, as far as the bigger picture goes, in addition to what they are requesting perhaps, is peace. Often requests are made in a state of excessive anxiety, and its possible that many of people’s problems wouldn’t exist if they could learn to deal with their stress, anxiety, depression, or various other emotional or psychological problems. That doesn’t mean that it isn’t good to ask for specific requests, but everyone should be praying for personal, deep, real, internal peace, peace that the world cannot give but only God can give, and that is a request that is unfortunately rarely made.

I think if people realized their main problem was a lack of peace within themselves, it would prioritize what they need to focus on. I think depression, despite the severity of it, offers at least one good fruit, which is to direct our attention towards inner peace and restructuring our lives so that they are conducive to peace.

I don’t think people realize (because no one, at least no one in any position of authority drills it into people over and over again) how important it is to deal with daily cumulative stressors, or what stressors even are (you might not always feel them or think they are effecting you, but they are still chipping away at your longterm resilience).

People have been taught that they can just push through any stress with enough positive attitude or perseverance (which is what I thought) and they’ll somehow be okay or that these feelings are what life is supposed to feel like, their bodies will work it out somehow or that it’s normal, or that stress is “all in your mind” and doesn’t have a real, physical, biological aspect. Or that if we achieve our goals or possess a well paying job or the right relationships or status, we’ll be okay, all the bad feelings will go away.

While those things can be good, society holds them up as false idols that will heal us, save us, fix our lives, if we possess them. But they’re superficial things in that they do not deal with stress or depression or anxiety, which are physical reactions with consequences that have to be dealt with on their own, physical terms. Depression, stress, anxiety don’t know money or a new car or prestigious title or a new boyfriend or girlfriend (although stress with any one of those topics can lead to depression if it is too excessive). Depression, stress and anxiety are all biological, and that biology effects the way we think and experience our lives and needs to be healed on a biological level. (Our cognition can effect our biology; [ http://www.cbsnews.com/news/first-blood-test-for-clinical-depression/ ] and “broken heart syndrome”: [ http://www.hopkinsmedicine.org/asc/faqs.html ] )

We also live in a very competitive culture that doesn’t promote health and taking care of stress (which requires time to both study these topics and time to above getting the most amount of work done possible, or admitting when you have a problem. I do not think I would have developed PTSD, a lifelong crippling stress disorder, if I had known how important it was to take care of my stress and really, really put being healthy (which alleviates stress) first.

“Routine cumulative stresses can contribute to the risk of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). While ordinary daily stress cannot in itself cause PTSD, it can gradually erode your resilience to larger unexpected shocks. Addressing cumulative stress as it arises (e.g. effective self care combined with maintenance of a robust support system) can equip you to handle the intense traumas that you may experience and reduce the likelihood of becoming severely traumatized yourself.” [ http://www.cic-learning.co.uk/alertnet-trauma/study/page/show/159/understanding_stress/types_of_stress_and_symptoms ]

“Routine cumulative stress” can refer to anything from the physical, including not drinking enough water (most people are mildly dehydrated, which greatly increases nervousness and anxiety), not enough magnesium or calcium or some other essential mineral or vitamin, or exterior stressors like being berated or having deadlines. They can also include stressors we place on ourselves, such as perfectionism. Depression and all the emotions that accompany it are also stressors.

Depression is often brought on by stress or anxiety, or has some connection to the two. For example, I suffer from PTSD, a stress disorder related to the stress hormone cortisol, which brought on severe, immobilizing depression. The following are supplements and other aids for depression, stress and anxiety that I currently use and also that I have tried at one point or another. They allow me to live a more normal, happier life, and allows me to start learning and becoming my true self, my real, unique individual personality, not the depressed personality. It is my hope that this aids many people who suffer from anxiety, stress or depression.

PTSD is a physical illness even though it is not visible to the naked eye, except for behavioral symptoms. The body physically produces extremely high levels of stress hormone even when nothing stressful is happening. A vaccine is even being developed for it ( http://www.bostonmagazine.com/health/blog/2013/10/23/mit-ptsd/ ). Furthermore, there is a blood test being developed to detect clinical depression in people, indicating that this is a real disease that effects the body’s physiology. Even though it isn’t as visible, it’s as physical and real as an amputated leg or cancer. News article about the blood test for Clinical Depression: http://www.cbsnews.com/news/first-blood-test-for-clinical-depression/ 

According to the CDC, suicide is the number 2 cause of death for 25 to 34 year olds in the United States, and number 3 for 15 to 24 year olds, after homicide. [ resource: http://www.cdc.gov/injury/overview/data.html ] This means that there are many, many more people struggling with suicidal ideation, failed suicide attempts, depression, emotional problems, people who just want to die but have never attempted suicide, etc., who aren’t ending up as a final statistic, but who are nonetheless fighting terrible battles each day.

The numbers are very large; it is also difficult to tell if accidental injuries aren’t suicide (my aunt killed herself by driving a car into a wall at a high speed; such acts could be labeled as “accidental injury,” when they are, in fact, suicide).

We live in a time of denial and closed, hard hearts that ignore these issues or deny them and that is causing a lot of needless suffering. Suicide and mental health problems are an epidemic that is completely swept under the rug and not discussed or understood or researched or faced realistically or sincerely enough, despite the fact that it is effecting everyone, either directly or indirectly, in all age groups, classes and ethnicities.

Furthermore, the suicide rate could very easily be reduced and people’s daily struggles could be almost wiped out if this was addressed properly and head on, instead of addressed in unrealistic or unhelpful or impractical ways.

The homicide rate is also a result of failing mental health; it would be reduced greatly if people knew how to manage stress and anger and despair and other emotions, such as cognitive behavioral therapy teaches.

Anxiety precedes sin; how many would have avoided committing some sort of sin if they had been able to manage their anxiety or insecurity? Almost all of them? How much are people destroying their own lives and the lives of those around them because they are struggling to stop the anxiety or insecurity or pain and are reaching for the wrong answer? Abusing themselves or someone else in the process?

And even those who don’t commit sin as a result of their anxiety or stress or depression, what martyrs their condition makes them! How we are handicapped…

————— Healing

It is important to pray for our healing. This is very true and very real. This sort of suffering and this source of sin has a lot of connections with the demonic, who often prey on us when we are weakened. I recommend praying the Rosary, praying to Saint Philomena and Saint Dymphna (patronesses of mental disorders; although any saint would be glad to help), Saint Jane Frances de Chantal (patroness of depression, according to those in the order she founded), Blessed Margaret of Castello (patroness of the unwanted—swept under the rug—and of the handicapped—those handicapped by their illness), Saints Mary and Joseph, Saint Anne, patrons of impossible causes Saints Rita and Jude, the Rosary of Liberation, the Infant Jesus to whom miracles are attributed, Divine Mercy (Jesus, who so struggled with anxiety and sorrow), the Holy Face, and/or the Tears of Mary (especially fruitful for grief and healing from grief). Saint Michael is also greatly beneficial, when we ask for his intercession: "Then I saw an angel come down from heaven, holding in his hand the key to the abyss and a heavy chain. He seized the dragon, the ancient serpent, which is the Devil or Satan, and tied it up for a thousand years and threw it into the abyss, which he locked over it and sealed..." [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/revelation/20 ] [ BoldRadish prayer videos ] [ A St. Michael Prayer Video ] References to prayers in "Lifting Curses" post.

We read in Sirach chapter 38:
1
Make friends with the doctor, for he is essential to you;*
God has also established him in his profession.
2
From God the doctor has wisdom,
and from the king he receives sustenance.
3
Knowledge makes the doctor distinguished,
and gives access to those in authority.
4
God makes the earth yield healing herbs
which the prudent should not neglect;
5
Was not the water sweetened by a twig,
so that all might learn his power?
6
He endows people with knowledge,
to glory in his mighty works,
7
Through which the doctor eases pain,
8
and the druggist prepares his medicines.
Thus God’s work continues without cease
in its efficacy on the surface of the earth.
9
My son, when you are ill, do not delay,
but pray to God, for it is he who heals.
10
Flee wickedness and purify your hands;
cleanse your heart of every sin.
11
Offer your sweet-smelling oblation and memorial,
a generous offering according to your means.
12
Then give the doctor his place
lest he leave; you need him too,
13
For there are times when recovery is in his hands.
14
He too prays to God
That his diagnosis may be correct
and his treatment bring about a cure.
15
Whoever is a sinner before his Maker
will be defiant toward the doctor.

*  [38:1–15] The profession of medicine comes from God, who makes the earth yield healing herbs and gives the physician knowledge of their power (vv. 1–8). In illness the sick should cleanse their soul from sin and petition God for help through an offering of sacrifice; the physician, too, does well to invoke God that he may understand the illness and apply the proper remedy (vv. 9–14). The sinner, in contrast, defies both his Maker and the doctor (v. 15) — http://www.usccb.org/bible/sirach/38

We see by this passage that God wants us to both cleanse ourselves of sin by trusting in His Will, repenting and praying, as well as seeking His care and relief through physical means. He works miracles in the New Testament, as well as in people’s lives today, this is very true; but also, this knowledge and herbs and all healing can be thought of as being given to us directly from God, who works through others and actively works through the natural world, directing us towards the healing that He desires and longs to give us.

I also recommend reading “Lifting Curses Caused by Playing with the Occult, or Being Subjected to a Curse” post and “dealing with demons” post. The “Lifting Curses Caused by Playing with the Occult, or Being Subjected to a Curse” also includes healing from curses from misfortune (for the sake of syntax, let’s say depession/anxiety/stress is either both a curse and misfortune or either a curse or a misfortune; I don’t think anyone suffering from any of these would argue that is what they feel like, anyway). The “healing from occult” post has a number of resources and encouragement about trusting in the Will of God. Lifting Curses Caused by Playing with the Occult, or Being Subjects to a Curse: http://www.boldradish.com/2014/11/lifting-curses-caused-by-playing-with.html — Dealing with Demons post: http://www.boldradish.com/2014/07/answer-to-email.html

In Jesus’ time, people thought that misfortune meant God disapproved of them; Jesus showed them, through His own suffering and affliction when He had God’s absolute approval and love, that we are afflicted so we can be brought into a closer relationship with Him and so His Glory can shine through us, either through our perseverance in Him or by His healing by Him. He showed us this through His own Suffering on the Cross, He Who was approved of above all others by God. He showed us that we can help others by undergoing suffering if we trust in Him and pray to Him. Suffering can cause our hearts to shrink, but when God heals us, He opens our hearts so we sympathize with others’ suffering and understand more clearly how to help others. Even without being able to help others, our suffering and healing glorifies God, just by being united to Him in His suffering and keeping Him company in Gethsemane. The sufferings of anxiety and depression teach us what God wants us to know, which is, that Jesus’ worse suffering was abandonment and the anxiety He felt in Gethsemane, not the physical sufferings. They teach us to look beyond the material body and recognize the suffering of the soul is the greatest martyrdom. We can then realize that we were born to live out our life stories in order to glorify God, we were afflicted so that we could know and understand His Son, so that He could heal us and He could be glorified on earth through us, that we might be glorified with Him. We begin to learn His love for us and learn appreciation. When we realize this, we can begin to trust in Him more and more and grow closer and closer to Him, learning that He is real and true Joy, Love, Charity and Mercy.

“It is the nature of faith to recognize the reality of what is not yet seen and is the object of hope, and the saints of the Old Testament give striking example of that faith (Hebrews 11, 1-40). The perseverance to which the author exhorts the readers is shown forth in the early life of Jesus. Despite the afflictions of his ministry and the supreme trial of his suffering and death, he remained confident of the triumph that God would bring him (Hebrews 12, 1-13). The difficulties of human life have meaning when they are accepted as God’s discipline (12, 4-13), and if Christians persevere in fidelity to the word in which they have believed, they are assured of possessing forever the unshakable kingdom of God (12, 14-29).” Commentary on The Letter to the Hebrews in the New Testament, from the New American Bible Revised New Testament, Catholic Bible Press, a division of Thomas Nelson Publishers, Nashville.

I was not able to start healing until I prayed to bind in the rosary those who hurt me because there was a spiritual connection between us that was very, very bad. Their unrepentant sin against me bound us, no matter if I went to confession or not, or prayed to be healed, or forgave them and prayed for them. I had to specifically pray to bind the connection between us. There is information on how to do this further down in this post, in the spiritual section, and also in Lifting Curses post.

————— List

The following is a list of herbs and psychological remedies, as well as important information to understand, that have helped me and I hope will be helpful to those seeking relief from their condition.

I think people who do not suffer from anxiety, stress disorders or depression falsely assume that treatment for these disorders turns people into “zombies,” that cognitive behavioral therapy gives people all the same thoughts and takes away their personalities.

This is not true. When someone suffers from stress or anxiety or depression, we recognize it because those people exhibit certain traits and characteristics of behavior. In other words, when they are living with the problem, that is when they begin to exhibit similar characteristics as everyone else who has these problems. When we can reduce their stress levels or reduce their depression, with supplements or other means, that is when they are able to start learning and growing and becoming who they were meant to be, and really developing into their individual and true self. Because that is when they start to become healthy, and their personalities become healthy and individual, too.

And unlike prescription medications, supplements tend to not always have the same side effects because they simply work differently (this is not to incriminate prescription medications, which I have taken in the past and they have kept me alive and allowed me to function and have a life; but for the most part, it feels a lot different to have my depression and stress managed on herbs and supplements and with CBT).

Likewise, cognitive behavioral therapy teaches people to identify destructive thoughts behind their patterns of behavior (and it is those destructive thoughts that are the identical destructive thoughts you find in other people with those same issues) and change those thoughts so they can better incorporate their emotions into their day-to-day lives. It does not suppress emotions: it teaches people to understand their emotions, cope with them, face them, feel them, identify them, organize them and integrate them into their lives. In other words, it functions the same way as supplements can in terms of giving them back their personalities and lives.

I think people who do suffer from the issues of anxiety and depression already realize this and that is why they seek out alleviation from their disorders, because they want to experience their lives again, and depression and anxiety and stress inhibit real life experiences.

As we can see in Sirach chapter 38, God wants us to seek treatment so that we can become the children He created us to be, have the lives, heroism and peace that He created us to have and allow the personalities, not the personality disorders, that He gave us to function, grow and flourish. We must trust in the good God, we must trust our healing and our lives to Him and pray to Him to heal our minds, emotions and bodies.

Counseling: I required counseling and confession from a priest, which are extremely beneficial, so I emailed my Diocese and asked them if there was a priest who was familiar with PTSD (which I have), and they directed me over to him. I didn’t want someone who wasn’t a “specialist,” so to speak, because the symptoms and behaviors of PTSD could be considered “disturbing” and “extreme” to the uninitiated. (But to someone who understands, they would be able to gauge my progress.) You may want to contact your diocese to find a priest who can assist you with your problems, who has specialized knowledge, by telling the diocese your needs and requesting a priest who is good at handling them. (Diocese in the US: http://www.usccb.org/about/bishops-and-dioceses/all-dioceses.cfm )

Understanding Stress, why to deal with daily smaller stressors so you can handle the larger stressors and shocks when they come on: “Routine cumulative stresses can contribute to the risk of developing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). While ordinary daily stress cannot in itself cause PTSD, it can gradually erode your resilience to larger unexpected shocks. Addressing cumulative stress as it arises (e.g. effective self care combined with maintenance of a robust support system) can equip you to handle the intense traumas that you may experience and reduce the likelihood of becoming severely traumatized yourself.”
http://www.cic-learning.co.uk/alertnet-trauma/study/page/show/159/understanding_stress/types_of_stress_and_symptoms

Adult Children of Alcoholics, ACAs or ACoCs: All Adult Children of Alcoholics share some similar traits and troubles because of their diseased, addict parent(s). Being aware of them allows healing from them, as well as healing resources. List of all common ACA traits: http://guesswhatnormalis.com/2007/08/with-a-list-aca/
Featured posts on the right hand side of this page: http://guesswhatnormalis.com/

Depression Quest, the game: http://www.depressionquest.com/
a text game that explains by reading and playing from a depressed person’s point of view the difficulties of living with depression that may help sufferers of depression not feel so alone (as people often don’t take the time to understand them) as well as realize the consequences of their choices and how that will effect their healing, and may help those living with someone suffering from depression understand what that feels like.

“The Compulsion to Repeat the Trauma”: [ http://www.mediafire.com/view/p6fm6g6jx4q6k9d/ARTICLE_TheCompulsionToRepeatTrauma_VanDerKolk.pdf ] a must read for everyone, so they either understand traumatized people around them or so they understand themselves. We may even be inclined to repeat to trauma of depression or excessive stress if we aren’t aware of our tendency to repeat traumas.

“The trauma permanently disturbed the capacity to deal with other challenges, and the victim who did not integrate the trauma was doomed to ‘repeat the repressed material as a contemporary experience in instead or . . . remembering it as something belonging to the past.’ In this article, I will show how the trauma is repeated on behavioral, emotional, physiologic, and neuroendocrinologic levels, whose confluence explains the diversity of repetition phenomena.”

It also explains the biology behind things like why people stay in abusive relationships.

This is important to read because healing can actually provide its own stressors. If you’ve lived with depression or high amounts of stress for a long time, it may be really weird and actually its own stressor to suddenly be stress-free or depression-free, because it’s so foreign. It’s been known to cause physical problems like high blood pressure to suddenly not be under a very familiar attack or stressor. For example, if you’ve lived with despair or fighting suicidal tendencies for a decade, to suddenly have them gone because you’ve medicated and done therapy can suddenly feel like a HUGE part of your existence is gone, and that can actually stress people out! It might drive them to subconsciously seek out despairing situations because its familiar.

Many people, probably without entirely realizing what they’re doing, put themselves back in situations that feel familiar to them, including situations where they will become overworked or endangered or abused or stressed, simply because they are familiar. Adapting to stressful situations allows people to survive, but it also destroys them if they return to it instead of staying away from it. And they really, really regret returning to it.

So it’s important to know that we repeat trauma and to understand thoroughly how that works and how the brain and biochemistry is involved, including the trauma of stress or depression, because its familiar, so we can avoid doing that. Some cases, just being aware of it helps heal the tendency.

(If the document is too intense to read, wait until you’ve healed a bit more and dealt with depression and anxiety a bit more and wait until you’re a bit stronger to read it.)

I have seen victims use partial, not complete, knowledge of this common phenomenon as an excuse to hurt people; that is not the purpose of this. The purpose of this is healing, aimed at working to stop the re-enactment cycle. I believe more complete knowledge, presented here, will aid the ceasing of the re-enactment cycle.

25 Studies Confirm: Exercise Prevents Depression. "Moderate Exercise Could Replace Costly Medications with Side Effects" http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-athletes-way/201310/25-studies-confirm-exercise-prevents-depression

Moderate exercise can include going on a walk.

I've found cardio (I run in place while watching Netflix) helps more with mood than strength training. How to Land on Your Foot While Running to avoid injury: http://www.livestrong.com/video/1007114-should-land-foot-running/
According to BUD/S Navy SEALs training, it’s important to keep your back upright and straight while running, keep your arms loose and have a lot of movement, and to breath deeply and seadily. ( http://www.amazon.com/Complete-Guide-Navy-SEAL-Fitness/dp/1578261716/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1420478261 )

At first, my feet got sore easily from running. This gel helped heal them much faster than normal as well as stop them from hurting so I could run the next day. http://hylands.com/products/hylands-muscle-therapy-gel-arnica

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
CBT is not “positive thinking” nor is it “negative thinking,” it is realistic thinking repeated over a period of time until the unrealistic or destructive thinking patterns are replaced by more realistic ones. This treatment can be more effective than antidepressant medication for treating depression and anxiety disorders as well as for managing stress. It is also used for treating other isolating or debilitating thinking, such as jealousy.

Read more about what CBT is here: http://www.excelatlife.com/cbt.htm

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy works better for those who have recurring bouts of depression not helped by medication [ http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/253770.php ] (this is different for PTSD because of the constant production of cortisol, although it is still beneficial for those with PTSD)

When the blood test for clinical depression is being developed, the effective treatment chosen was Cognitive Behavioral Therapy because after 18 weeks of CBT, markers in the blood that indicated clinical depression were reduced, which wasn’t necessarily the case with antidepressant medication [ http://www.cbsnews.com/news/first-blood-test-for-clinical-depression/ ]

“Excel at Life” was established by Doctor Monica Frank, a clinical psychologist who developed and operated an intensive day treatment program for severe anxiety disorders in addition to an outpatient clinical practice. It is a website consisting of free audios and informational articles. This is thousands of dollars worth of therapy posted online for free for anyone who wants to access it.

The true gem of the program are free apps available for your phone or notebook/kindle that guide you to which audios and articles will benefit you the most. These are top apps that help assess and give you the articles and information you need for your particular cognitive issue. [ List of Apps: http://www.excelatlife.com/apps.htm ]

There is an app called “Stop Panic and Anxiety Self-Help” [ http://www.excelatlife.com/apps.htm#panicapp ] and “Depression CBT Self-Help Guide,” [ http://www.excelatlife.com/apps.htm#depressionapp ] as well as others [ All Apps: http://www.excelatlife.com/apps.htm ]. These compile all the information on the website into an easy to access database that guides a person help dealing with cognitive problems in a manageable and effective way.

If you actually follow along with these apps and read the information given to you and do what it says, it WILL reduce your depression, anxiety, and other life problems.

“Cognitive Styles CBT Test” [ http://www.excelatlife.com/apps.htm#cbttestapp ] is another app that is very effective. The user is given a test and then assessed based on answers. They are then guided to articles specific to their needs; given a custom guide. The articles help the person suffering with the problem by explaining it and explaining how to solve the problem. Multiple tests can be taken and results saved, allowing the person to assess progress. It is a very positive experience.

“Why are Meditative Relaxation and Mindfulness Important” and “Happiness is an Attitude: How Can We Be Happy When Bad Things Happen?”: “One of the most salient aspects I’ve noticed about unhappy people is that they are desperately trying to avoid negative emotions and in the process they feel miserable.” [ Read Articles Here: http://www.excelatlife.com/articles/relaxation.htm ]

Personal note: I write down what I've learned from CBT onto a document and read it every morning. Oftentimes just being aware of our behavior allows us to prevent and change it. I have found this very useful. I also write on this document thanksgiving to God for all the things He's done in my life, some morning prayers, religious morning meditations, and some advice I've received during confession and from nuns and others I've talked to who are holy and kind. I sometimes use the wake up meditation audio from Excel at Life.

For CBT, I use the lotus flower meditation. I don't use it because it's any better (nor do I think its worse) and the other meditations. I suggest finding a meditation audio you personally like. If you want to use the lotus one also and don't entirely know what a lotus flower looks like when it opens, here is a very nice time lapse video of lotus flowers opening so you can picture it while meditating. [ Lotus Flower Time Lapse: http://youtu.be/JbeRRAvaEOw ]

Water: Even slight dehydration alone can cause anxiety and nervousness, aggravate depression, and is a physical stressor.

Your body is mostly water and water is essential for it to function correctly, including regulate brain activity and mood. If you’re feeling anxious or depressed, try drinking water. (If you’re alive, try drinking water.)

Various water calculators report different amounts of water intake, but if you’re exercising, approximately two liters of liquid hydration is a good amount. (A higher body weight increases the need for water.) This roughly equals to 8 glasses of water (or soothing chamomile tea) a day, more or less. When I first started drinking this much water, I felt almost sick because I wasn’t used to drinking a good amount of water. It passed very quickly; my point is that it will feel like “too much” water/liquid at first.

It’s also important to make drinking the right amount of water a daily goal because the more days in a row you drink a healthy amount of water, the more hydrated and properly working and strong your body will become. Also, dehydration can be severe after a flu or cold and this can greatly increase anxiety, stress and depression in people with these disorders (or even without them). Re-hydration can take several days or weeks after an illness, even with drinking the right amount of water a day.
http://www.nopanic.org.uk/dehydration-anxiety/
http://www.freedrinkingwater.com/water-education3/21-water-and-depression-stress-anxiety.htm
http://www.cafehydrate.com/?p=117
http://www.calmclinic.com/anxiety/causes/water-dehydration

Alcohol
“Alcohol is a depressant. That means any amount you drink can make you more likely to get the blues.”

“Nearly one-third of people with major depression also have an alcohol problem. … because alcohol makes you sleepy, a few beers or glasses of wine can seem to relax you and relieve anxiety. Does regular drinking lead to depression, or are depressed people more likely to drink too much? Both are possible. Nearly one-third of people with major depression also have an alcohol problem. Often, the depression comes first.”

“Drinking will only make depression worse. People who are depressed and drink too much have more frequent and severe episodes of depression, and are more likely to think about suicide.”—http://www.webmd.com/depression/alcohol-and-depresssion

Alcohol damages nerve endings every time you drink. It makes you more likely to get anxious once the immediate effects of alcohol wear off. It also immediately strips the body of essential vitamins, including B vitamins which help nerves function properly and naturally reduce anxiety. (See the magnesium subsection below; magnesium is essential to nerve function and many people who began magnesium supplementation stopped feeling like they needed alcohol and simply got over their substance abuse problems.) This is why alcohol leads to depression: it destroys nerves and takes away essential vitamins and minerals that cause your body to work properly.

Longterm destruction of your nerve endings through repeated use of alcohol leads to alcoholic neuropathy, permanent damage to the nerves caused by alcohol. “It likely includes both a direct poisoning of the nerve by the alcohol and the effect of poor nutrition associated with alcoholism. Up to half of long-term heavy alcohol users develop this condition. In severe cases, nerves that regulate internal body functions (autonomic nerves) may be involved.”—http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000714.htm

Alcoholic neuropathy includes numbness in arms and legs, feelings such as “pins and needles” (all the time, constantly), painful sensations in arms and legs, muscles weakness, muscle cramps, heat intolerance (all the time), impotence, incontinence (inability to control your bladder), difficulty urinating, always feeling like you have to urinate, constipation, diarrhea, nausea and vomiting, difficulty swallowing, speech impairment, loss of muscle function and feeling, muscle spasms, muscle atrophy (your body literally starts withering away), movement disorders.—http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000714.htm

My uncle is dying of alcoholic neuropathy, and before he had that was extremely anxious all the time because of his severe alcohol problem.

It also causes dehydration, even if you “drink enough water” while drinking (because your filter organs are so busy), and dehydration causes anxiety and depression because it doesn’t allow your body to work properly.

“‘Co-occurring’ refers to the presence of two or more illnesses or disorders in the same individual. For example, someone suffering from depression who also has a cocaine addiction is considered to have co-occurring disorders: addiction and depression. According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, those suffering from anxiety and mood disorders are twice as likely as the general population to also suffer from addiction and vice versa.”—http://www.dualdiagnosis.org/cocaine-abuse/ (even though this site is for cocaine abuse, the statistic includes addition to alcohol, and alcohol is a drug)

Many of the items on this list help alcoholics stop drinking and help people not turn to alcohol when they’re anxious, nervous or depressed (a good example are the cases identified in the link under the magnesium section). If you’re turning to alcohol, start leading a healthier life, start taking supplements for anxiety and depression, start doing CBT, and you will notice you neither need nor want alcohol.

Cannabis causes schizophrenia and anxiety: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-126056/How-cannabis-trigger-schizophrenia.html

“Previous studies have suggested that using the drug before the age of 18 raises the risk of the condition in later life by six-fold. THC affects chemicals in the brain that transmit information from one nerve cell to another. Disrupting the delicate chemical balance can result in memory loss, anxiety and other conditions.”

“Marijuana Study: Long-Term Use 'Causes Cancer and Schizophrenia’” http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/marijuana-study-long-term-use-causes-cancer-schizophrenia-1468823

“Even though THC can produce relaxation, if higher amounts are consumed, it can have the opposite effect by increasing anxiety. Some cannabis users may have unpleasant experiences, including confusion, hallucinations, anxiety and paranoia, depending on their mood and circumstances.”

“Some users may experience psychotic symptoms with hallucinations and delusions lasting a few hours, which can be very unpleasant. Even though these unpleasant effects do not last long, since the drug can stay in the system for some weeks, the effect can be more long-lasting than users realize. Long-term use can have a depressant effect and reduce motivation. Some researchers also suggest that long-term use can lead to irreversible, but minor cognitive deficits.”—http://www.rcpsych.ac.uk/mentalhealthinformation/mentalhealthproblems/alcoholanddrugs/cannabisandmentalhealth.aspx

Again, the same as alcohol, use of supplements, herbs that don’t cause permanent brain damage and cognitive behavioral therapy can reduce a person’s desire or need for the relaxing or calming effects of cannabis.

Cocaine
Longterm use leads to the development of permanent depressive disorder. This is what usually fuels an addiction to the substance. “Cocaine abuse eventually leads to a drop in natural dopamine productions, changing brain chemistry and causing users to crave the drug to replace those levels.”

“It is no surprise that some seek to self-medicate in order feel better, with many turning to illicit drugs such as cocaine for an instant mood enhancer.”

“Exposure to drugs or acute stress during developmental stages like teen years can alter brain chemistry, producing depressive episodes or substance abuse. Brain chemistry in which the same regions of the brain are affected by both depression and cocaine abuse.”

[ http://www.dualdiagnosis.org/cocaine-abuse/ ]

“Researchers found that cocaine users had lower concentrations of dopamine and VMAT2 in their brains than did non-users. Additionally, cocaine users suffering from depression had lower levels of VMAT2 than those who were not depressed.”

“These findings suggest that chronic cocaine use may cause changes in the brain that could make it harder for a person to feel a sense of pleasure.”—http://alcoholism.about.com/cs/coke/a/blnida030501.htm

Those who have suffered from cocaine addiction should avoid caffeine and any stimulant.


Famous suicide Robbin Williams abused a lot of cocaine in his life, which may have affected his decision to tragically take his own life even after he had no longer abused cocaine.

Caffeine: "Caffeine is the most widely used mood-altering drug in the world," says Roland Griffiths, PhD, a professor in the departments of psychiatry and neuroscience at the Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine. — http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/brewing-trouble

if you are depressed because of stress or suffer from an anxiety disorder or bipolar disorder, caffeine (or any stimulant, including herbal stimulants) will aggravate your condition (in bipolar individuals, their mania). Caffeine should be avoided.

Caffeine-induced anxiety; “… caffeine's power has become so well recognized that the American Psychiatric Association has added three related disorders to its list of official diagnoses: caffeine intoxication, caffeine-related anxiety, and caffeine-related sleep disorders.”: http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/brewing-trouble

There are some studies that say caffeine may possibly decrease the risk of suicide or depression rate in individuals not suffering from anxiety disorders or bipolar disorders. Caffeine possibly helps depression, maybe: http://psychcentral.com/blog/archives/2013/07/28/is-coffee-the-new-cure-all-for-depression-suicide/

Caffeine increases anxiety, scholarly article: http://www.jaacap.com/article/S0890-8567(09)64184-8/abstract?cc=y

“Someone who downs coffee at breakfast and then hops on the freeway to work, for example, may attribute feelings of panic to rush-hour traffic rather than to caffeine [but it may really be the caffeine causing the panic]. … 80% of Americans drink [coffee]. In fact, occasional coffee consumption rose 6% in the last year alone, according to the National Coffee Association. At the same time, panic and other anxiety disorders have become the most common mental illnesses in the United States.”—http://www.webmd.com/balance/features/brewing-trouble

Music, helpful for distracting the mind. Jazz http://www.jazzradio.com/  Digital/Electronic: http://www.di.fm/ which both include free phone/tablet apps. http://tunein.com/ TuneIn radio, offers radio stations from around the world of all genres (including classical, etc.). Also has a free phone app.
When Saul was tormented by an evil spirit, music was the only thing that would sooth him [ 1 Samuel chapter 16, Line 14-18 http://www.usccb.org/bible/1samuel/16 ]. Saul's reliance on harp music is repeated throughout the chapters.
God wants us to be soothed by music, let's take advantage of contemporary technology that allows us to do that.

Psychology Tools Site, Worksheets and Information Books: http://psychology.tools/download-therapy-worksheets.html

Self-Harm: A good way to prevent this is to not do it, ever. Once started, it’s more difficult. I have found promising God not to hurt myself anymore to be a good way. Praying for liberation via the Rosary of Liberation could also be beneficial. [ http://www.boldradish.com/p/rosary-of-liberation.html ] Also, for some reason drawing on one’s self with a red marker, which washes off, is greatly relieving. After the urge passes, the red washes off without any scar or regret.

Pray in Jesus’ Name to expel the spirit of self harm. (See spiritual sections below (scroll down), expelling negative spirits prayer.)








The following are organized into sections. Supplements, homeopathy, over the counter drug (medicine you can buy at a store without a prescription). The most important for you to try are at the top half of each section, more or less (they’re all important, really; homeopathy is based entirely on specifics from the user and can't be organized by importance). I recommend trying something and if it seems to work, adding something else. Try things one at a time, maybe starting at the top of the list.

Anything that reduces anxiety, stress, or depression will also reduce nervousness and despair. Articles that talk about benefits for insomnia sufferers refers to the supplement’s ability to reduce stress, anxiety, and nervousness, and therefore depression and despair in sufferers of depression and despair.

One of the biggest problems with all supplements or medication is that once the person starts feeling better, they often stop taking supplements, medication, or practicing the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy practices. While this is good for homeopathy (don’t want to overdose on it), it’s bad for the other supplements. Healing is cumulative: the longer you can go being stable, peaceful, calm and happy, with your body working properly, the more you’re healing yourself. If your supplement intake is sporadic, it’s not going to be good and its going to lower resilience for depression, stress, anxiety and despair in the future. It’s important to keep on your treatment.

Overdosing usually causes either a feeling of being poisoned or it causes the opposite of the intention of the drug to happen. For example, if you take too much of the antidepressant prozac, instead of reducing depression in the patient, it will increase their depression. The same is true for these supplements, too.

I have no experienced any withdrawals from reducing or stopping any of the below supplements (like I have from stopping prescription medications, including prozac).

Inexpensive places online to buy the supplements listed below (they tend to be more expensive in grocery stores): http://www.swansonvitamins.com/

How to swallow a pill: http://www.wikihow.com/Swallow-a-Pill
I use the straw method (at the bottom) and only swallow two at a time. I also sometimes take them with a drink called kefir (pronounced “kay-fear”), a fruit-flavored yogurt drink that is healthful, tasty and thick enough to get the pill down without it getting stuck in my throat.

 As far as these lists go, they are not complete descriptions of this supplement. It is a resource guide for research; articles are linked for each supplement and you are intended to click the link and read the article to find out more. Maybe do your own research if you want to know more.





Curcumin Complex 95% Curcuminoids: A study at Baylor University found that curcumin, the main compound in the spice turmeric, worked as well as the popular antidepressant Prozac. Study participants were divided into three groups: one took 500 milligrams of curcumin twice a day; the second took a standard dose of Prozac, and the third group took a combination of both. After six weeks, curcumin relieved symptoms of depression as effectively as Prozac.

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25046624

http://medicalxpress.com/news/2014-09-turmeric-mood-depression-trial.html

95% Curcuminoids Curcumin is the substances used in all the depression studies, not regular Curcumin. Regular Curcumin does NOT work as effectively as prozac; ONLY 95% Curcuminoids. http://www.swansonvitamins.com/swanson-superior-herbs-curcumin-complex-875-mg-60-caps

Depression may be an inflammation disease; Curcumin reduces inflammation: http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/next/body/depression-may-caused-inflammation/

Personal experience dictates to start very slowly with curcumin. Maybe one tablet a day, or every other day. Then increase slowly. If you are going to take more than one a day, do not take the different tablets at the same time. For example, I take three a day, and I take one three different times a day, with several hours between doses. (Most people who take this I know take only one a day.)

Increases cognition, cognitive abilities.

Mendapause (Soy Isoflavones, Black Cohosh, Dong Quai, Licorice, Vitex Berry, Red Clover, Sage, False Unicorn, Squaw Vine, Blessed Thistle, Red Raspberry, Mexican Wild Yam)

The ingredients are for both men and women (of all ages) suffering from depression, ADHD, and a variety of other ailments. Each one of the individual ingredients are successful in combating depression. For example, Dong Quai is as good as prozac in battling depression and is also useful in alleviating pain.

If you purchased all of the ingredients individually, it would cost upwards of $40s (and that’s if you found good deals); however the mendapause costs about $16 on amazon. This is an amazing deal, and you only have to take two pills a day for mendapause instead of at least 12, probably much more than that.

The ingredients don’t cause the production of hormones, they cause the body to balance its own hormones, in addition to working on depression.

Symptoms of ADHD include anxiety, trouble being motivated, trouble concentrating, trouble finishing projects. Usually ADHD is treated with stimulants such as ginko balboa. For people suffering from anxiety or stress, or depression caused by either anxiety or stress, taking stimulants aggravates their condition. Usually they have to choose between either treating stress/depression/anxiety or treating the ADHD. However, all of the ingredients in mendapause treat ADHD and are NOT stimulants.

All of those ingredients also treat acne and arthritis very well.

Some people have conflict with the soy isoflavones. According to the National Center for Biotechnology Information, soy isoflavones prevents prostrate cancer, especially when combined with Curcumin 95% Curcuminoids. [ http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20503397 ] (It is not estrogenic and is used to regulate hormones naturally.)

Many of the symptoms of menopause are also the symptoms of PTSD, depression, anxiety: nausea, fatigue, muscle weakness, decreased appetite, blood pressure problems, foggy mind, depression, low thyroid function, blood sugar imbalances, sleep disruption, lowered immune function, inflammation.
Some information on adrenal fatigue: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/addisons-disease/expert-answers/adrenal-fatigue/FAQ-20057906
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/245810.php
http://selfadjustingtechnique.com/8-major-physical-conditions-and-how-adrenal-fatigue-is-the-cause/

Everyone in my family takes this because it is beneficial for everyone’s large variety of problems: my mother suffers from ADHD and is menopausal; my sister suffers from severe PMDD that is not helped by any standard treatments, most of which don’t help most sufferers anyway ( http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/premenstrual-syndrome/expert-answers/pmdd/faq-20058315 ); BoldRadish suffers from severe arthritis that prevents him from closing his hand or moving his knees well without mendapause, and I have PTSD and some of my mother’s ADHD symptoms (and I can’t take any ADHD treatments because they’re stimulants, which I can’t have with a stress disorder).

We noticed that the first week or two, one’s body requires more water, more hydration, but that it gets straightened out after the body has been on this supplement for a while. Also sleepiness may sporadically happen the first few days, but does not continue after the first few days. Usually a short nap (15 minutes) alleviates sleepiness and results in higher energy levels, during the first few days on mendapause.

Because of my set of problems, the only time I am able to write long posts like this one and the others on this site is because of taking mendapause. Otherwise, I can’t concentrate long enough to finish so much work because of my stress and ADHD. So I think this is a really important supplement.

If the cover really bothers you or you don’t want people rummaging through your medicine cabinet and seeing something called “mendapause” because you’re, for example, a young man, just stick a sticker over it or tear it off or something.

Lithium Orotate: Lithium orotate is NOT the lithium you get from a prescription at the doctor’s office. That’s Lithium Carbonate, which is very toxic. “In lithium orotate, lithium is joined with an orotate ion, rather than to a carbonate ion.” [ http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/is-lithium-orotate-good-or-bad-for-you/ ] Lithium is a mineral found in the body.

Read more here: http://www.naturalnews.com/042469_Lithium_orotate_mental_health_nutritional_supplement.html

A study from Texas analyzed 27 state counties between the years of 1978-1987. It was discovered that the incidence of suicide, homicide, rape, drug abuse, and felonious acts were about 50% lower in the 27 counties with lithium-containing drinking water. The water had lithium levels ranging from 70-170 micrograms/L. Additionally, the study found a significant reduction in drug-related arrests within the same time period and locations.

Lithium orotate “…does not require blood tests to establish a therapeutic level as prescription forms do, nor is it toxic to the kidneys like lithium pharmaceuticals.”

Read more, including about about alcoholics, depression, etc; huge number of facts collected by Dr. Edward F. Group III, DC, ND, DACBN, DCBCN, DABFM: http://www.globalhealingcenter.com/natural-health/is-lithium-orotate-good-or-bad-for-you/

“In some cases, adjunctive lithium leads to improvement in depressive symptoms very quickly, usually in 2 or 3 days.”

Also good for recovering alcoholics. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/3718672

I take about 30 mg of lithium a day from Doctor’s Best Lithium Orotate (that’s about 6 tablets a day, taken two three times a day). That was about what a psychiatrist prescribed for her PTSD sufferers, and I have pretty bad PTSD. It works really well for reducing all symptoms, increasing functioning, reducing suicidal and self-destructive urges and feelings of despair and violent urges and thoughts towards others, as well as fatigue. It’s also beneficial for ADHD sufferers. I would start with a recommended dose and then maybe increase it. If you take too much, you’ll know, so I don’t recommend jumping into 6 tablets a day unless you’re extremely crippled.

Definitely do NOT drink alcohol while taking lithium orotate, especially a high dose. (Apparently its great for reducing the urges for alcohol for recovering alcoholics, or allowing them to function without feeling they need alcohol.)

Magnesium
Complete research: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolutionary-psychiatry/201106/magnesium-and-the-brain-the-original-chill-pill

Anxiety, depression, alcoholism, stress, drug addiction. Body depletes magnesium during stress, resulting in poor cognitive function.

Magnesium is important for over 300 bodily functions on a cellular level. Increasingly lower intake of magnesium in contemporary diets is the sole reason why some people think anxiety and depression are on the rise.

High doses of magnesium can increase blood pressure and/or diarrhea.

Calcium
good for depression.

“Beneficial Effect of Calcium Intake on Mood,” a study: http://www.orthomolecular.com/?ctr=article&act=show&id=15

Calcium is difficult for the body to absorb. Usually vitamin D is included in capsules that contain supplemental calcium; "the body cannot absorb calcium at all without some vitamin D. ... Taking in about 500 mg or less of calcium [multiple times] throughout the day is best." [ http://www.emedicinehealth.com/osteoporosis_and_calcium/page7_em.htm ]

Calcium is often combined with Magnesium in Calcium Magnesium tablets.

Many people report this is good for PMS-related depression as well.

Magnolia Bark, Relora, Gaia brand's Sleep-Thru
reduces inflammation. Good for stress, depression, anxiety. Has antidepressant effects. Lowers cortisol (stress hormone) levels. Reduces PTSD symptoms such as depression, despair. http://www.jissn.com/content/10/1/37

http://www.raysahelian.com/magnolia.html

"Gaia brand’s SleepThru" contains magnolia bark and other ingredients. I have personally found it more potent in handling stress than relora. This may not be so in your case. I have not found that Sleep-Thru makes me sleepy, but most things that are sleep aids do not because I have PTSD and therefore inherently high stress levels. (Those high stress levels actually make me fatigued and have to sleep all the time; taking things such as SleepThru reduce stress levels and allow me to stay awake and be calm, relaxed.) It may make someone without PTSD or anxiety sleepy, however.

Myrrh Gum 
Myrrh Gum is as effective as valium (a low dose, I presume) in easing anxiety, stress, pain and works for PTSD. Helps with pain, including emotional pain.

http://archive.archaeology.org/9605/newsbriefs/myrrh.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/prozac-opium-and-myrrh-the-ancient-arts-of-anaesthesia-are-unlocked-1238659.html

I have found Myrrh to be very beneficial.

Taking more than the recommended dose can cause diarrhea. Should not be taken if pregnant or trying to become pregnant (high doses will abort the fetus). Myrrh Gum may also lowers blood pressure. It also lowers blood sugar and a sudden drop in blood sugar may cause nervousness and jitters. (I have not experienced this effect personally.) Lowered blood sugar can be helped with some orange juice.

Boswellia Extract (Frankincense)
“…a recent publication in the journal FASEB suggested that one component of this resin, incensole acetate, also displays anti-anxiety and anti-depressive properties similar to those produced by Valium and Prozac, respectively.”
http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/your-brain-food/201011/why-did-they-bring-frankincense-and-myrrh

Vitamin D higher potent
Especially important in times of the year with little sunlight.

Vitamin D and depression: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2014/08/21/vitamin-d-depression-dementia.aspx

SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) lamp may also help. It's a little desk lamp with a frequency of light that, if in the room with you, makes you happy. I have found having a SAD lamp to help me all year round. I don’t know if this means I have SAD or if having that spectrum light is beneficial to everyone.

Valerian Root
For anxiety, stress, nervousness; reduces depression related to stress.

http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/herb/valerian
“Some researchers now think you may need to take valerian for a few weeks before it begins to work. However, in another study, valerian was more effective than placebo almost immediately.”

Another supplement I suggest starting very very slowly with at first. Taking maybe one and then skipping a day or two before having another and slowly working up to taking more, but spread out over several hours. I take three a day, one three times a day. When I tried to take more than one at once, it had the opposite effect: it made me extremely agitated and despairing. It’s really great when you don’t take too much at once, though. (On the other hand, my sister was able to take several at a time, but she needed it; I was taking many others things that reduced my anxiety so I didn’t need as much. It also depends on your physiology. I would just start very, very slowly. It’s powerful stuff.)

It also smells bad, we keep ours in the freezer so it doesn't smell.

Fish Oil
Possible long term benefits: “prevention and management of Alzheimer's disease, schizophrenia, depression and attention deficit hyperactive disorder.” http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17012979

http://www.kcl.ac.uk/ioppn/news/records/2014/October/Fish-oils-may-prevent-some-forms-of-depression.aspx

http://www.psycheducation.org/depression/meds/Omega-3.htm

Mild dissociation is one of the most common and one of the first felt responses to stress. This means a detachment from reality (the world around you doesn’t feel close, you look in the mirror and you don’t feel like it’s your reflection, etc.). Extreme forms of this is a complete loss of reality, as in psychosis, which most people don’t experience. So I wonder if fish oil, which reduces psychosis, would reduce milder forms of dissociation associated with stress, if it does help depression. [ Dissociation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociation_%28psychology%29 ]

Staves off psychosis and mental disorders: http://www.nhs.uk/news/2010/02February/Pages/schizophrenia-psychosis-fish-oil.aspx

Cuts psychotic illnesses like schizophrenia by a quarter, effective as drugs: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/health/8490937.stm “Antipsychotic drugs are potent and can have serious side effects, which puts some people off taking them. Fish oil supplements, on the other hand, are generally well tolerated and easy to take…”

Blackstrap Molasses with Iron
For women during menstruation (not before or after because excessive iron in the blood is dangerous). menstruation usually causes mild anemia in many women, which results in fatigue. While this is not depression, fatigue is a symptom of depression, stress or anxiety. Blackstrap Molasses with Iron reduces or eliminates anemia caused by menstruation. If you are a woman struggling with depression, anxiety or stress, and the fatigue that comes with it, I thought it might be annoying to be winning the battle against fatigue only to start your period and become fatigued again. So I recommend this.

Mineral content of blackstrap molasses: http://www.naturalnews.com/043009_blackstrap_molasses_nutritional_supplement_health_benefits.html

Do not use if you have a sulphur allergy. (Although you can find unsulphured blackstrap molasses.)

Copper/Zinc
“A study carried out on 135 males aged between 3 and 20 with a history of aggressive behavior found that many of the subjects were likely to have high levels of copper and low levels of zinc compared with non-aggressive people. Zinc and copper compete for absorption. Because of this inverse relationship, zinc supplements can be effective for lowering copper levels. Proper mineral balance is essential for the production of chemical signals in the brain that influence behavior. Both copper and zinc tend to be concentrated in the hippocampus of the brain, which is the area known to be associated with stress response.”

http://gochemless.com/studies-reveal-how-copper-imbalances-cause-mood-disorders-adhd-anger-problems-and-more/ (yes, its a strange site for this kind of information, however its the only source I could find that had references to all other sources; its references are sound)

It’s pretty dangerous to play with copper and zinc levels on your own but you can be professionally tested to see if you have an imbalance and then take supplements until you are balanced again. Anger and aggression are one of the most painful and challenging symptoms of PTSD and stress, they’re really burdensome to live with. This may be worth looking into.

Hawthorn Berries
http://www.nyrnaturalnews.com/article/hawthorn-the-heart-healer/
For treating depression, anxiety, nervousness, bereavement, loneliness/feelings of isolation, self-loathing.

http://www.wisegeek.com/what-are-hawthorn-benefits.htm

Also promotes respiratory improvement, which promotes good breathing, which aids in anxiety reduction. How breathing affects feelings: http://psychology.tools/how-breathing-affects-feelings.html

Vitamin C
http://healthimpactnews.com/2014/vitamin-c-elevates-moods-reduces-distress-and-anxiety/
“… Vitamin C reduced mood disturbance by 71% and reduced psychological distress by 51%.”

Vitamin C is water-soluable meaning you can’t overdose on it really; any excess will be urinated out. So you can take as much as you want. (Some vitamin C tablets are really tastey.)

Immune system is also usually compromised by depression, stress and anxiety. Vitamin C boosts the immune system, making it very important for that reason, also.

Chamomile
For anxiety, stress, depression
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/22894890 : “In the current study, the research team observed a significantly greater reduction over time in total HAM-D scores for chamomile vs placebo in all participants (P < .05).”

Because this is a tea that can be found anywhere, I have had a difficult time trying to convince people how greatly chamomile has impacted my abilities to function. This is truly an over-looked, under appreciated, beneficial plant.

There’s a tea called “sleepytime” that is chamomile tea, and another one called “sleepytime for kids” that is chamomile with a bit of grape in it. It’s not fake grape flavor, its actual white grapes. The sleepytime for kids is very good, I recommend sipping that all day maybe when you’re trying to hydrate yourself.

Full Spectrum Jujube Fruit
Relaxes, helps with anxiety and stress, fatigue, loss of appetite. http://www.drugs.com/npp/jujube.html

http://www.raysahelian.com/jujube.html

Melissa
For treating anxiety and depression, ADHD, rapid heartbeat due to nervousness, high blood pressure. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3326910/

http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-437-lemon%20balm.aspx?activeingredientid=437&activeingredientname=lemon%20balm

Scullcap
Treats anxiety and inflammation (therefore depression), nervous tension. http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-986-skullcap.aspx?activeingredientid=986&activeingredientname=skullcap

Warnings here: http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/herb/skullcap

Chinese skullcap
Works on depression, ADHD, and for stress, anxiety, nervousness, tension. Decreases inflammation. http://www.webmd.com/vitamins-supplements/ingredientmono-903-baikal%20skullcap.aspx?activeingredientid=903&activeingredientname=baikal%20skullcap

Lowers blood sugar; may require orange juice to bring it back up. Lowered blood sugar causes jitters and nervousness. Further warnings here: http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/herb/skullcap

Passionflower Extract
Anxiety, stress, depression, despair: http://www.naturalhealthadvisory.com/daily/depression-and-anxiety/passionflower-benefits-anti-anxiety-and-insomnia-without-the-side-effects/

Calms without sedative effect. Side effects mostly in people who overdosed on it. http://www.gracepointwellness.org/15-alternative-mental-health-medicine/article/11872-integrative-therapies-for-anxiety-passion-flower-passiflora-incarnata

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1318410/Bad-news-St-Johns-wort-wont-cure-anxiety-Good-news-passion-flower-will.html

Vitamin B Complex
People suffering from depression have lower B vitamin levels, so the thinking is to raise the B vitamin levels and this will aid depression. “The data support the hypothesis that poorer status in certain B vitamins is present in major depression”, from: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/2005338

“What's the relationship between vitamin B-12 and depression?” with Doctor Daniel Hall-Flavin: http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/depression/expert-answers/vitamin-b12-and-depression/faq-20058077

“The Effect of Methylated Vitamin B Complex on Depressive and Anxiety Symptoms and Quality of Life in Adults with Depression”: http://www.hindawi.com/journals/isrn/2013/621453/

“B Vitamins Can Help Beat Depression”: http://www.biosciencetechnology.com/news/2014/10/b-vitamins-can-help-beat-depression

If you suffer from acne, make sure the B vitamin supplement you get doesn’t contain biotin, which aggravates or causes acne. I use a liquid sublingual B vitamin complex.

Kava kava
Anxiety, stress, depression, despair
This is an interesting one. There are lots of warnings surrounding Kava Kava, but there have only been 30 cases of hospitalization because of the effects of Kava Kava, and they were all from people who took way more than they were supposed to take (in other words, who overdosed).

There are much, much greater numbers of hospitalizations and psychotic breaks and all sorts of problems from prescription medications that are prescribed for depression and not accompanied with all the warnings that accompany Kava Kava.

In other words, if you take this, so long as you don’t start taking more than you’re supposed to, it won’t be a problem at all.

“Alternative Treatment Kava Shown to Reduce Anxiety”: http://psychcentral.com/news/2013/05/19/alternative-treatment-kava-shown-to-reduce-anxiety/55012.html

University of Maryland Medical Center, Kava kava overview: http://umm.edu/health/medical/altmed/herb/kava-kava

Absolutely cannot be taken with opiods.

Swanson One Per Day Multi-Vitamin and Mineral Dietary Supplement
Vitamins cause your body to function correctly, therefore reducing physical stress, which in turns reduces depression, anxiety, etc. Healthful living, getting the right amount of sleep and exercise, vitamins and proper food, anything to help your body work better, is going to reduce stress, improve mental clarity, and aid depression or improve resilience against depression.

This is the vitamin I use. It’s good. Available from swanson.

potassium iodide
It is anti-inflammatory and so good for depression, anxiety, stress.

Iodide began being added to salt to prevent goiter because iodide is essential for healthy body function.

“Dr. Francis Stern observed significant benefits after iodide therapy for elderly patients with cerebral arteriosclerosis, as measured by significant improvements in anxiety, depression and behavior in those treated with iodide by not placebo.” [ http://www.drinkyourvitamins.com/the-healing-power-of-potassium-iodide-sski.html ]

Don’t take it all the time, though. Most bottles tell you to take it only for a few days at a time, then rest from it for a while. “Excessive intake of iodine can also cause low thyroid, a paradox called the Wolf-Chaikoff effect, named after two doctors who found that continuos intake of high doses of iodine signal the thyroid gland to stop making the thyroxine hormone.” [ http://www.drinkyourvitamins.com/the-healing-power-of-potassium-iodide-sski.html ]

"Iodine is a vitally important nutrient that is detected in every organ and tissue. Along with being essential for healthy thyroid function and efficient metabolism, there is increasing evidence that low iodine is related to numerous diseases, including cancer."

"Worldwide, it's thought that up to 40 percent of the population is at risk of iodine deficiency.
In the United States, health agencies tend to say most people are iodine 'sufficient,' meaning they get enough of the nutrient from their diet, however this is controversial."


"According to other sources, such as Dr. David Brownstein, who has been working with iodine for the last two decades, over 95 percent of the patients in his clinic are iodine deficient."

"The Japanese consume 89 times more iodine than Americans due to their daily consumption of sea vegetables, and they have reduced rates of many chronic diseases, including the lowest rates of cancer in the world. The RDA for iodine in the U.S. is a meager 150 mcg/day, which pales in comparison with the average daily intake of 13800 mcg/day for the Japanese." [ http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2012/02/08/iodine-is-important-but-new-study-shows-too-much-causes-problems.aspx ]

Evening Primrose
For muscle fatigue, or stiffness. I have such stiffness in my body that I can barely move unless I take a lot of evening primrose every day. I have had this problem since I was about 15 years old, long before I had PTSD, but I heard that stiff joints may be associated with PTSD, depression, or symptoms associated with adrenal fatigue, so I thought I would include it. It is marketed towards women but is not estrogenic so is good for men, and is frequently used by (both male and female) bodybuilders.

Also promotes absorption of iodine. [ http://wholehealthchicago.com/506/evening-primrose-oil/ ]

L-Tyrosine
Amino acid that reduces cortisol levels under stress, improves cognitive abilities and reduces fatigue under stress. “Effect of tyrosine on cognitive function and blood pressure under stress”: http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/0361923094902003

Internalizes motivation. “This amino acid is a harbinger of two of the most important neurotransmitters, dopamine and norepinephrine.”: http://www.limitlessmindset.com/nootropic-ingredients/323-l-tyrosine.html

I think this is very important and effective, especially for PTSD and stress-related disorders or situations, but it isn’t higher on the list because too much of it can cause feelings of agitation and anger. This is another powerful one that you want to start very slow on and increase only a little bit at a time, and take no more than one at a time (if you take more than one a day, spread it out throughout the day). Too much too soon can cause a bad mental or emotional reaction, or cause you to be unable to sleep at all and have too much energy. Also it is cumulative, the longer you take it, the greater the effect, so you made need to take a break from it every month for a few days so you don’t become agitated/angry. I take currently take zero to one a day but have taken as many as three a day, one three times a day.

Important to take at least twenty minutes before or after eating or drinking anything (besides water). Doesn’t have much effect if you take it with food or drink.





I suffer from pretty severe PTSD. Without any treatment, I’m catatonically depressed: my body produces such high levels of cortisol constantly. It’s a physical disease, my body physically produces cortisol all the time. So psychological therapy treatment can only work for me after I’ve dealt with the physical aspects of this disorder.

Placebos don’t work on me: they simply can’t. My disease is too physical and way too extreme. “Positive thinking” can’t pull me out of it (it’s been tried because placebos have been known to help people).

These things, however, do work on me.

There is a lot of confusion about homeopathy. Vibrations is an analogy for how homeopathy works, it isn’t really vibrations (although I think some new age-y descriptions of it sort of mud it up).

Homeopathy is based on the idea that “like cures like.”

Similar to a vaccine, although it pre-dates the vaccine. The idea of homeopathy gave rise to the idea of the vaccine, which has saved millions of lives.

An extremely small dose of something spurs the body to produce the opposite effect. The smaller the dose, the greater the opposite effect (the “stronger” the homeopathy).

For example, if a plant causes feelings of disassociation, an extremely reduced dose can be used in homeopathy to treat people who suffer from disassociation because the introduction of a very small amount of the plant in the body spurs the body to react in the opposite way: by eliminating the symptoms of disassociation.

Some people think homeopathy can’t be overdosed on, but it actually can be and often is.

With the aforementioned supplements, I don’t use homeopathy unless I need it (it isn’t a daily thing that I take anymore). There are just certain things that the supplements don’t take care of, though, that I wouldn’t have been able to get over without homeopathy. So I do recommend it, but because homeopathy seems to heal the symptoms for a long time, supplies of homeopathy should last a long time.

An interesting note, Mother Teresa started in India helping people with homeopathy.

Homeopathy helps make you feel calm and stops without the “druggy” feeling. It feels almost natural, like for some reason the symptoms just decided to stop, when before, without the homeopathy, they would run away with you and make you feel horrible. It’s really amazing stuff.

Do not have it 15-20 minutes before or after food (unless it is an emergency). (Caffeine may negate the effect of some homeopathy, as might vinegar.)

Five-Flower Formula
For intense anxiety, fear, bipolar. Gives courage, stop anxiety when working under stress or starting a new project or interacting with people for social anxiety. Stops panic. Helps agoraphobia.

I use this to get over the initial fear or hesitation of starting something new or communicating and then often don’t have to use it again because the fear association is broken with the Five Flower Formula. I don’t know what I would do without this.

I’ve found this one extremely beneficial, both for myself and those I’ve given it to to use. (I had a friend who was recently dumped and she couldn’t stop crying or go to work without panicking and breaking down. I gave this to her and she was able to go to work without any problem.)

Information: http://www.bachcentre.com/centre/38/rescue.htm
People’s testimonials: http://www.fesflowers.com/FFF.htm
All Bach testimonials: http://www.bachflower.com/bach-flower-rescue-remedy-success-stories/
Available on swanson: http://www.swansonvitamins.com/flower-essence-services-five-flower-formula-spray-1-fl-oz-liquid

A more expensive version with the same formula is in the Bach Rescue Remedy Pastilles, which is this formula in candy form. I dislike the taste of the spray (unless its without alcohol), so spray it into my tea. I use between 10-20 sprays at a time in a drink because I get intense waves of fear or anxiety (although that might be way too much depending on what you need).

“I wanted to comment on my use of the Five-Flower Formula: I was diagnosed with Rapid Cycling Bi-Polar Disorder two years ago. I refused to use drugs and in turn, went to a naturalist who suggested this formula. I disagree with your website’s comment about using it only for shock and trauma; this formula has balanced my life after many years of struggling. I can focus, sleep, and I feel some sort of normalcy after many years on a roller coaster. I am thankful for this product, as is my family.”

Flower Essence: Fear-less
“Composure and containment when challenged by fear, anxiety or panic.” Advertised for huge stressors; for PTSD or anxiety orders, this could be much smaller every day occurrences, which may also cause huge stress, anxiety or panic. My stress used to cause fatigue and before I found the above supplements, I used to rely heavily on the flower essence sprays. I would need to spray all of the sprays in order to get out of bed in the morning at all, or stay awake from any period of time. They’re really beneficial sprays.

Following quote from [ http://www.fesflowers.com/fes-store/index.php?main_page=product_info&products_id=1640 ]
For any known condition that provokes fear or anxiety – such as public performance or travel
For use during any natural disaster or personal calamity. Works well in tandem or alternation
with Five-Flower Formula during the most intense and immediate episodes of panic and chaos. To deal with residual stress and ongoing symptoms, use Post-Trauma Stabilizer
A beneficial remedy for those with a constitutional tendency toward fear, panic, anxiety, restless agitation or disturbed sleep accompanied by anxiety
An excellent remedy for children who are confronting new performance-based challenges in school or community
A good baseline formula for all animals who are prone to fear; or who exhibit nervous unease in certain situations

Also available on swanson.

Flower Essence: Post-Trauma Stabilizer
Stress, panic, on-going emotional pain, grief, longing, memories, anxiety, fear, lack of courage (see above descriptions of flower formulas).

Quoted from [ http://www.fesflowers.com/post-trauma.htm ]:
For loss or disruption of any kind that creates bewilderment, numbness or shock in the body-soul complex – including amputation or debilitating injury within the physical body; loss or disruption to one’s home, community or environment
For relief work in any natural disaster or war zone – to address prolonged levels of shock and trauma and to help victims re-build and renew; beneficial for both humans and animals
Following any major surgery and during any sustained course of physical rehabilitation
Following the loss of a loved one or pet, if symptoms of shock or disassociation persist; can be used in tandem or in alternation with Grief Relief
As a supplement to drug rehabilitation, when the soul faces shattering memories or acknowledges what has been lost or damaged in one’s life
For re-occurring violent dreams and memories of past trauma, which intrude long after other forms of healing have brought physical stabilization

Also available on swanson.

King Bio Fears and Phobias
“A natural aid to help relieve fears related to people, places, situations, or things: something happening, being alone, crowds, public places, death, evil or ghosts, misfortune or poverty, dread of work including anxiety and despair, dread of work and suspiciousness.”
Possibly cheaper on amazon.com than kingbio.com

King Bio Good Mood Enhancer
“For temporary relief of symptoms: melancholy, nervousness, minor mood swings, over-sensitivity, apathy, discontent, timidity, insecurity, irritability, and fatigue.”
Possibly cheaper on amazon.com than kingbio.com

King Bio Anxiety and Nervousness
“For temporary relief of symptoms: anxiety, nervousness, minor mood swings, irritability, restlessness, stage fright, nervous stomach, and oversensitivity to various stimuli. Intended to complement, not replace, standard medical care.”
Possibly cheaper on amazon.com than kingbio.com

King Bio Fatigue Reliever
“For fast relief of fatigue due to overwork, loss of sleep, nervousness, exhaustion, indifference, muscle weakness, dullness. For relief of drowsiness, headaches, inability to fall asleep, nausea, sudden drain of energy, sweet food cravings.”
Not available on kingbio.com at the time of writing this, but available on amazon. If you have depression, stress, anxiety, you are likely to have fatigue.

I have had a lot of issues with fatigue, not being able to stay awake for more than a few hours at a time, etc. This is caused by excessive cortisol production. In addition to the supplements (which, although calming, reduce my fatigue by reducing cortisol), I spray this when I am sleepy in the afternoons. It is very helpful in staying awake.

There are other King Bio sprays that all look great! Including 9-1-1 Burnout and other stress, nervousness, apathy related ones. I haven’t tried them so I’m not linking them (I’m only linking things that I personally use), but if you browse their site [ kingbio.com ] and feel like you like some of them, I think their formulas are really good.

Bach Rescue Energy Natural Fatigue Remedy Spray
Much cheaper on amazon. Similar to Fatigue Reliever; relieves fatigue, gives energy (no caffeine or stimulants) and reduces stress.

NaturalCare brand Anxiety Relief
“Anxiety, worry or nervousness. Apprehension. Panicky feelings.”
“The combination of ingredients in Anxiety Relief provides support for safe, effective relief of anxiety, worry, fear, stress, panic attacks, and apprehension. This advanced homeopathic formula provides multiple potencies of 10 different herbs and minerals in a sublingual tablet to provide relief for the widest range of people.”

customer reviews on amazon: http://www.amazon.com/NaturalCare-Anxiety-Relief-120-tabs/dp/B00025YFP4#customerReviews

The think with the following homeopathy is that, unless you have some of the other personal traits and/or symptoms mentioned for them, it might not work for you (the sprays combine different types of homeopathy to cover a wider audience). You don’t have to have all the symptoms or traits, though. Also, the pages list traits of these personality types as well as symptoms, for example, “freckles.” It’s not going to cure your freckles, it’s just mentioning that as a frequent trait of that personality. Read the rest of the pages, I’m mostly only display to the mental/emotional symptoms.

I recommend seeing a registered homeopath if experimenting with individual homeopathy on your own isn’t working: http://www.homeopathy.org/homeopaths-directory/

The following have worked for me at various times. I only take them when-needed, not daily (although I used to take them daily before I got all the supplements mentioned above worked out; with all those supplements to calm me down, I usually don’t have any of the symptoms listed below, which are aggravated by stress).

Source to buy the individual homeopathy listed below:

[ http://homeopathyworks.com/ ]

I suggest getting dose 30C. They often come in sugar pills (not sweet enough to cause reactive hypoglycemia, which is a common in PTSD sufferers [ see "beets" ].

You should only have to take between 1-4 at a time if you get 30C. Anymore than that may cause overdose.

30C is more powerful, but I recommend it above 30X (30X is weaker), unless your symptoms are fairly mild. 30X may aggravate more extreme symptoms. Its possible that even if your symptoms are mild, you could just take 1 30C and it would still be beneficial to you.

Sometimes it works better for people to take their homeopathy in water form (as found in the sprays). It is just a more effective delivery system and causes it to work better for some people. Here are instructions on how to turn your sugar pill into a liquid remedy: [ http://homeopathyplus.com.au/instructions-for-turning-pilules-into-liquid-remedies/ ]

Aurum Metallicum 
Heartbreak, feeling betrayed, wanting suicide (especially by jumping from a high place), self-destructive.

from homeoint: “Hopeless, despondent, and great desire to commit suicide. Every opportunity is sought for self-destruction. … low spirited, lifeless, weak memory. … Feeling of self-condemnation and utter worthlessness. Profound despondency, with increased blood pressure, with thorough disgust of life, and thoughts of suicide. Talks of committing suicide. Great fear of death. Peevish and vehement at least contradiction. Anthropophobia. Mental derangements. Constant rapid questioning without waiting for reply. Cannot do things fast enough. Oversensitiveness; (Staph) to noise, excitement, confusion.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/a/aur.htm ]

Aconitum napellus
Panic attacks. Fear. Waking with a start, or easily startled, readily snuck up on.

“A state of fear, anxiety; anguish of mind and body. Physical and mental restlessness, fright, is the most characteristic manifestation of Aconite. Acute, sudden, and violent invasion, with fever, call for it. Does not want to be touched. Sudden and great sinking of strength. … emotional and physical mental tension explain many symptoms. … Great fear, anxiety, and worry accompany every ailment, however trivial. Delirium is characterized by unhappiness worry, fear, raving, rarely unconsciousness. Forebodings and fears. Fears death but believes that he will soon die; predicts the day. Fears the future, a crowd, crossing the street. Restlessness, tossing about. Tendency to start. Imagination acute, clairvoyance. Pains are intolerable; they drive him crazy. Music is unbearable; makes her sad (Ambra). … Feels as if what had just been done was a dream. … Vomiting, with fear, heat, profuse sweat and increased urination. Thirst for cold water. Bitter taste of everything except water. Intense thirst. Drinks, vomits, and declares he will die. … icy coldness and insensibility of hands and feet.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/a/acon.htm ]

Sulphur
Nightmares. Melancholy, irritable, depressed, difficulty thinking. Depression makes self-centered.

(Sulphur is used for the start of treatment of chronic problems and end of treatment for acute problems. At the bottom of many of these other homeopathy pages referenced here, they mention that sulphur compliments healing. If that’s the case, try sulphur in union with the homeopathy that recommends you try sulphur with it.)

“Very forgetful. Difficult thinking. Delusions; thinks rags beautiful things—[thinks] that he is immensely wealthy. Busy all the time. Childish peevishness in grown people. Irritable. Affections vitiated; very selfish, no regard for others. Religious melancholy. Averse to business; loafs-too lazy to arouse himself. Imagining giving wrong things to people, causing their death. Sulphur subjects are nearly always irritable, depressed, thin and weak, even with good appetite.”

Feet get hot, have to stick them out from the covers at night.

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/s/sulph.htm ]

Stramonium
Restless. Mania, obsession, excessively devoted. Awakened from sleep terrified, screaming. Sleepy but cannot sleep.

“Devout, earnest, beseeching and ceaseless talking. Loquacious, garrulous, laughing, singing, swearing, praying, rhyming. Sees ghosts, hears voices, talks with spirits. Rapid changes from joy to sadness. Violent and lewd. Delusions about his identity; thinks himself tall, double, a part missing. Religious mania. Cannot bear solitude or darkness; must have light and company. Sight of water or anything glittering brings on spasms. Delirium, with desire to escape. [Sees small objects as being large.] Sleep: Awaken terrified; screams with fright. Deep snoring sleep. Sleepy, but cannot sleep (Bell). Extremities: Graceful, rhythmic motions. Trembling, twitching of tendons, staggering gait. Worse, in dark room, when alone, looking at bright or shining objects, after sleep, on swallowing. Better, from bright light, company, warmth. Worse, in dark room, when alone, looking at bright or shining objects, after sleep, on swallowing. Better, from bright light, company, warmth.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/s/stram.htm ]

Anacardium orientale
Depression, irritability, violent language, no self-confidence, anxious dreams.

“The Anacardium patient is found mostly among the neurasthenics; such have a type of nervous dyspepsia, relieved by food; impaired memory, depression, and irritability; diminution of senses (smell, sight, hearing). Syphilitic patients often suffer with these conditions. Intermittency of symptoms. Fear of examination in students. Weakening of all senses, sight, hearing, etc. Aversion to work; lacks self-confidence; irresistible desire to swear and curse. … eating temporarily relieves all discomfort. Fixed ideas. Hallucinations; thinks he is possessed of two persons or wills. Anxiety when walking, as if pursued. Profound melancholy and hypochondriasis, with tendency to use violent language. … Impaired memory. Absent mindedness. Very easily offended. Malicious; seems bent on wickedness. Lack of confidence in himself or others. Suspicious (Hyos). Clairaudient, hears voices far away or of the dead. … Absence of all moral restraint. … Blue rings around eyes. … Dull pressure in the shoulders, as from a weight. Stiffness at nape of neck. … Spells of sleeplessness lasting for several nights. Anxious dreams.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/a/anac.htm ]

Staphysagria
sensitive, grief, indignation, anger
“Nervous affections with marked irritability… Ill effects of anger and insults. Sexual sins and excesses. Very sensitive. … Impetuous, violent outbursts of passion, hypochondriacal, sad. Very sensitive as to what others say about her. Dwells on sexual matters; prefers solitude. Peevish. [If it is a child,] cries for many things, and refuses them when offered. … After eating feels sleepy… Stomach feels relaxed. Craving for tobacco. Canine hunger, even when stomach is full. … Colic after anger. Especially after self-abuse; persistent dwelling on sexual subjects. … guilty look; … backache and weakness and sexual neurasthenia. Backache; worse in morning before rising. Extremities feel beaten and painful. Worse, anger, indignation, grief, mortification, loss of fluids, onanism, sexual excesses, tobacco; least touch on affected parts. Better, after breakfast, warmth, rest at night.

Anger is a big symptom of PTSD, and a very cumbersome and horrible symptom. This has helped me a lot with PTSD/stress-related anger. Whenever I’m in a stressful situation and become angry or frustrated, I take this and it stops it.

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/s/staph.htm ]

Sabal Serrulata
Anger, angry outbursts.
“Fear of going to sleep. Languor, apathy and indifference. Confused, full [head, thoughts]; dislikes sympathy; makes her angry. Sexual neurotics.”
[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/s/sabal.htm ]

Phosphoricum Acidum
Despair, grief, apathy.
“…nervous exhaustion. Mental debility first; later physical. …young people who grow rapidly, and who are overtaxed, mentally or physically. Whenever the system has been exposed to the ravages of acute disease, excesses, grief, loss of vital fluids, we obtain conditions calling for it. Listless. Impaired memory (Anac). Apathetic, indifferent. Cannot collect his thoughts or find the right word. Difficult comprehension. Effects of grief and mental shock. Delirium, with great stupefaction. Settled despair. … confused. Hair gray early in life; falls out. Blue rings around [eyes]. Lips dry, cracked. At night, bites tongue involuntarily. [Stomach:] Craves juicy things. Sour risings. Nausea. Symptoms following sour food and drink. Pressure as from a weight, with sleepiness after eating. [Back:] Boring pain between scapul√¶. Pain in back and limbs, as if beaten. …  Stumbles easily and makes missteps. … Pimples, acne… Somnolency. [Symptoms worse form the exertion from being talked to.]”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/p/ph-ac.htm ]

Phosphorus
Low spirits, easily annoyed, angered. Fearful. Starts, startles easily. Excitable. Self-important. Indifferent. Heart palpitations when anxious.

“Tall, slender persons, narrow chested, with thin, transparent skin, … with great nervous debility, emaciation, amative (amorous) tendencies, seem to be under the special influence of Phosphorus. Great susceptibility to external impressions, to light, sound, odors, touch, electrical changes, thunder-storms. Suddenness of symptoms, sudden prostration, faints, sweats, shooting pains, etc.”

“Great lowness of spirits. Easily vexed. Fearfulness, as if something were creeping out of every corner. Clairvoyant state. Great tendency to start. Over-sensitive to external impressions. Loss of memory. Memory. Paralysis of the insane. Ecstasy. Dread of death when alone. Brain feels tired. Insanity, with an exaggerated idea of one's own importance. Excitable, produces heat all over. Restless, fidgety. Hypo-sensitive, indifferent. … falling out of hair in large bunches. [Called telogen effluvium, hair loss from physical or emotional stress.] Hunger soon after eating. Vomiting; water is thrown up as soon as it gets warm in the stomach. Pain in stomach; relieved by cold food, ices. Irresistible desire [sexual]… Violent tickling in larynx while speaking. … Cannot talk on account of pain in larynx. Cough from tickling in throat; worse from cold air, reading, laughing, talking, from going from warm room into cold air. [Heart] Violent palpitation with anxiety… [Sleep] Great drowsiness, especially after meals. … Vivid dreams of fire… Lascivious dreams. Goes to sleep late and awakens weak. Short naps and frequent wakings. Worse, [from] touch; physical or mental exertion; twilight; warm food or drink; change of weather… Better, in dark, lying on right side, cold food; cold; open air; washing with cold water; sleep.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/p/phos.htm ]

Pulsatilla Nigricans
Anger with silent grief. Anxiety. Anguish. Feels forsaken. Apathy, indifference, irritable, introspective. Timid, bashful. Tearful mood.

“Sad, crying readily; weeps when talking; changeable, contradictory. The patient seeks the open air; always feels better there, even though he is chilly. Great sensitiveness. Weeps easily. Timid, irresolute. Fears in evening to be alone, dark, ghost. Likes sympathy. Children like fuss and caresses. Easily discouraged. Morbid dread of the opposite sex. Religious melancholy. Given to extremes of pleasure and pain. Highly emotional. Thirstlessness… [Sleep] Wide awake in the evening; first sleep restless. Wakes languid, unrefreshed. Irresistible sleepiness in afternoon. Sleeps with hands over head.

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/p/puls.htm ]

[ http://www.homeoint.org/hidb/kent/p/puls-kn3.htm ]

Argentum Nitricum
Disturbing nightmares of snakes.
(Snake nightmares is the only symptom I have of this one, but the nightmares are so intense that I take it anyway to prevent them; it works. However, some of these symptoms have to do with ADHD; my mother takes this one, it defines her closely.)
Impulsiveness. Dictates. Commands others. Anxiety. Nervousness. Deserted, forsaken.

“Thinks his understanding will and must fail. Fearful and nervous; impulse to jump out of window. Faintish and tremulous. Melancholic; apprehensive of serious disease. Time passes slowly (Cann ind). Memory weak. Errors of perception. Impulsive; wants to do things in a hurry (Lilium). Peculiar mental impulses. Fears and anxieties and hidden irrational motives for actions. Emotional disturbances cause appearance of hemi-cranial attacks. Many people in a room seem to take away his breath [anxiety]. ”

“Symptoms of inco-ordination, loss of control and want of balance everywhere, mentally and physically; trembling in affected parts. Very characteristic is the great desire for sweets… Sensation as if a part were expanding and other errors of perception are characteristic. Withered up and dried constitutions present a favorable field for its action, especially when associated with unusual or long continued mental exertion. … prematurely aged look. Explosive belching especially in neurotics. Upper abdominal affections brought on by undue mental exertion. Intolerance of heat. Gastritis of drunkards. Colic, with much flatulent distention. Cannot walk with eyes closed. Trembling, with general debility. Paralysis, with mental and abdominal symptoms. Sleepless, from fancies before his imagination; horrible dreams of snakes, and of sexual gratification. Drowsy stupor.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/a/arg-n.htm ]

Arnica Montana
“Fears touch, or the approach of anyone. Unconscious; when spoken to answers correctly, but relapses. Indifference; inability to perform continuous active work; morose, delirious. Nervous; cannot bear pain; whole body oversensitive. Says there is nothing the matter with him. Wants to be let alone. Agoraphobia. After mental strain or shock. Traumatism of grief, remorse or sudden realization of financial loss.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/a/arn.htm ]

Kali Phosphoricum
“Anxiety, nervous dread, lethargy. Indisposition to meet people. Extreme lassitude and depression. Very nervous, starts easily, irritable. Brain-fag; hysteria; night terrors. Somnambulance. Loss of memory. Slightest labor seems a heavy task. Great despondency about business. Shyness; disinclined to converse.”

“Weak and tired. … The causes are usually excitement, overwork and worry. Worse, excitement, worry, mental and physical exertion; eating, cold, early morning. Better, warmth, rest, nourishment.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/k/kali-p.htm ]

Nux vomica
Bad temper. Anxiety. Nervousness. Fatigue, overwork, overstressed (including stress disorders). Depressed. Good for stopping nausea almost immediately (even nausea caused by anxiety; but nausea caused by anything, including flu or sickness; also good for photosensitivity, so often taken for hangovers, although it obviously can’t rehydrate you, which is the cause of a hangover, so I don’t know how well it works for those symptoms when related to hangover)

“Very irritable: sensitive to all impressions. Ugly, malicious thoughts. Cannot bear noises, odors, light, etc. Does not want to be touched. Time passes too slowly. Even the least ailment affects her greatly. Disposed to reproach others. Sullen, fault-finding. Easily excited desire. Cannot sleep after 3 am until towards morning; awakes feeling wretchedly. Drowsy after meals, and in early evening. Dreams full of bustle and hurry. Better after a short sleep, unless aroused.”

“The typical Nux patient is rather thin, spare, quick, active, nervous, and irritable. He does a good deal of mental work; has mental strains and leads a sedentary life, found in prolonged office work, overstudy, and close application to business, with its cares and anxieties. This indoor life and mental strain seeks stimulants, coffee, wine, possibly in excess; or, again, he hopes to quiet his excitement, by indulging in  [sedatives]… These conditions, produce an irritable, nervous system, hypersensitive and over-impressionable, which Nux will do much to soothe and calm. Zealous fiery temperament.”

“Worse, morning, mental exertion, after eating, touch, spices, stimulants, narcotics, dry weather, cold. Better, from a nap, if allowed to finish it; in evening, while at rest, in damp, wet weather (Caust), strong pressure.”

[ http://homeoint.org/books/boericmm/n/nux-v.htm ]

Sepia
“Indifferent to those loved best. Averse to occupation, to family. [Needs time alone in morning or else becomes irritated. Can’t feel love for family. Can’t register emotions. Exciteable. Suicidal. Stoical. Cold. Monosyllabic. Absence of joy, doesn’t feel anything is real. Doesn’t tolerate opposition to opinions. Inactive mind.] Irritable; easily offended. Dreads to be alone. Very sad. Weeps when telling symptoms. Miserly. Anxious toward evening; indolent.”

“Feels cold even in warm room. [Stomach] Feeling of goneness; not relieved by eating. Nausea at smell or sight of food. Everything tastes too salty. Nausea in morning before eating. Disposition to vomit after eating. Burning in pit of stomach. Longing for vinegar, acids, and pickles. Loathes the taste of fat in food.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/s/sep.htm ]

“Sadness and dejection, with tears.─Melancholy and moroseness.─Anguish and inquietude, sometimes with flushes of heat, generally in evening (when walking in open air), and sometimes in bed.─Restlessness, fidgety.─Dread of being alone.─Excessively nervous; sensitive to least noise.─Great uneasiness respecting the health; and about her domestic affairs.─Pensiveness.─Timorous disposition.─Discouragement, often to such an extent as to be disgusted with life.─Indifference to everything (to all surroundings), even to relations.─Repugnance to customary business.─Great disturbance caused by vexation.─Great excitability in company.─Susceptibility and peevishness, with great irascibility.─Quarrelsome and caustic disposition.─Weakness of memory.─Distraction.─Aptness to make mistakes in speaking and writing.─Unfitness for intellectual labour.─Slowness of conception.─Comprehension difficult; heavy flow of ideas.─Language coming slowly.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/clarke/s/sep.htm ]

“Fear of ghosts; that something unusual will happen; atmosphere full of figures, not seen, but she knows that they are there; departed friends or other forms and very often in accordance with religions belief. Never happy unless annoying someone; relating her grievances; sarcastic; insulting; fear of insanity, poverty. Breaks out in spells of weeping, is sad one minute, gentle, yielding, and in another she is disagreeable, excitable, obstinate. You do not know what she is going to do next. She says and does strange things, makes errors, no dependence can be placed on her; no mental endurance; no affection for her family; whole Mind weak and disordered…”

[ http://homeoint.org/books3/kentmm/sep.htm ]

Kali Bichromicum
Sudden spikes in body temperature, that cause nausea.

When I first was starting my recovery and didn’t have many things to help with stress yet, if I remembered something against my will, an invasive memory or flashback, and it caused me great distress, instead of crying (I wasn’t able to cry), my internal body temperature would spike, causing me to vomit. I would throw up many times a day, aggravated when I wasn’t asleep or moving. Too much stress caused this to happen, and too much stress could be as little a thing as going down the hallway or trying to move or do anything (I was so agoraphobic that I used to not be able to go down the hallway of my own house without getting sick).

Kali Bichromicum saved me a great number of times from being sick, once we discovered it. When my body temperature would start to spike, I would take this and it would quickly subside.

“The essential feature of Agoraphobia is anxiety about being in (or anticipating) situations from which escape might be difficult or in which help may not be available…” [ http://psychcentral.com/disorders/agoraphobia-symptoms/ ]

Fear of being in a crowd, being in open or closed spaces, or unfamiliar places, dangerous situations.
[ http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/agoraphobia/basics/definition/con-20029996 ]

I only felt safe in my bed so anywhere else would cause me to become intensely sick.


I used to take the following, which contains name of the above mentioned ingredients:

 2  Swanson Homeopathic Calm: Avena sativa 2X, Chamomilla 2X, Coffea cruda 12X, Humulus lupulus 2X, Nux vomica 12X, Passiflora incarnata 2X, Sulphur 12X, Zincum valerianicum 6X
[ By itself, this one never seemed to do a lot for me; too weak. I took this dissolved in water. ]

 2   Swanson Men's Prostate Health Formula: Aurum metallicum 12X, Chimaphila umbellata 4X, Conium maculatum 12X, Hepar sulphuris calcareum 12X, Pareira brava 6X, Populus tremuloides 3X, Petroselinum sativum 6X, Sabal serrulata 3X, Staphysagria 12X
[ There is nothing in here that would adversely affect a woman. … This one helped with anger and helped me so much at first that if I didn’t take it, I knew something was missing, without knowing what or why. ]

Ingredients in Prostate Formula that helps mood disorders, if you just want to take them separately (in addition to some already defined above):

Conium maculatum
“Excitement causes mental depression. Depressed, timid, averse to society, and afraid of being alone. No inclination for business or study; takes no interest in anything. Memory weak; unable to sustain 'any mental effort.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/c/con-m.htm ]

Hepar sulphuris calcareum
“Anguish in the evening and night, with thoughts of suicide. The slightest cause irritates him. Dejected and sad. Ferocious. Hasty speech.”

[ http://www.homeoint.org/books/boericmm/h/hep.htm ]






over-the-counter

Benadryl/Diphenhydramine (including zzzquil and sleepaids with long lasting benadryl/Diphenhydramine)
Prozac/Fluoxetine was isolated and derived from Benadryl. Benadryl helps a bit with depression, anxiety, nervousness. If you don’t have very high levels of anxiety or nervousness or stress, Diphenhydramine may make you feel sleepy (in which case, you shouldn’t take it). Unlike homeopathy, it is a drug and can cause a “druggy” feeling.

I take a benadryl with my supplements throughout the day and it doesn’t make me sleepy or impair my ability to think (by calming me down, it increasing my capacity to work and think without becoming despairing or depressed), but I have extreme stress, so this may not be the case with you; you may have to experiment. (I couldn’t have taken that much benadryl before I had PTSD without becoming spaced out.)

Orange Juice and Possibly Beets: Reactive hypoglycemia or blood sugar imbalances have been known to be a common symptom of PTSD. Low blood sugar makes a person jittery and nauseated. Drinking some orange juice should help, just like with diabetics.

I have found drinking drinks such as smoothies with beets in them (for example, a lot of fruit to make the smoothie taste good and then half a beet blended in) have helped prevent of alleviate my reactive hypoglycemia from being so bad, but I do not know if beets will help everyone. Beets are reportedly good for cleaning out the filter organs, such as liver and kidneys. Before I started having beets, I couldn't have even a bite of something sweet without throwing up. I did not start drinking beets with the knowledge that they would assist my reactive hypoglycemia, I just noticed after I drank them that it did. (And beets were the only thing I was doing differently.)

I also found that beets made all my muscles relax tremendously, as if I had just taken a muscle relaxant, and drinking beets in them made me very, very calm and relaxed. It felt like a sedative without the drugged or sleepy feeling. (Again, I didn't go into drinking them thinking something would happen, I was just following a recipe. So these responses aren't placebo responses because I wasn't expecting anything, they were entirely surprising to me when they happened.) I suggest beets, based off of my own personal experience.

————— People: Who to Seek Help From and Who Not to Seek Help From

I included in the previous “List” section information about Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Those audios and that information posted on that website and in those apps are the equivalent of hundreds or thousands (depending on how much you use) of dollars worth of top-of-the-line therapy, for free. That is as good as you would get from going to a skilled psychologist, which she is. And it’s free and available in your own home.

While the following people aren’t necessarily bad or evil people, they are people who are not equipped with the tools to help you heal and can hinder or completely stop your healing process if you follow after their advice or teachings:

Avoid seeking help from people who say things like, “just let it roll off your back,” “you’re being too emotional,” “you’re just trying to get attention,” “stop being emo/angsty,” “buck up,” “just get over it,” “it’s not that big a deal,” “just stop,” and the like. Diminishing the person’s experience, dismissing it or sweeping it under the rug, greatly sets them back or completely prevents healing from taking place. (This is probably one of the most common responses because our culture teaches people to dismiss others’ problems or deny that there are problems and does not give us the proper tools to respond to people seeking help.)

Avoid people who encourage alcohol, recreational drugs, drug abuse when you are sad, upset, depressed or anxious; avoid those who encourage fixing your feelings of grief or loss by getting into a new relationship; avoid those who encourage a sexual addiction (strip joints, porn, prostitutes), for getting over a loss or for grieving or dealing with stress. These things compound the problem with addictions and substances that cause depression and anxiety longterm (such as alcohol), they do not solve it.

Getting into a relationship to “fix” the loss of an ended relationship encourages dependency disorder and the mentality that you have to be in a relationship to be happy, which can lead to borderline personality disorder and loss of personal identity, as well as fantasy bonds ( what is a fantasy bond?: http://www.boldradish.com/p/blog-page.html see also attachment styles: http://www.boldradish.com/p/psychology-attachment-styles.html ). It reduces the relationship to an act of therapy, or in the case of a fantasy bond, a hollow shell.

It also leads to many poor choices in partners out of insecurity, which builds long-term destructive or abusive relationships and isolates people from good relationships. We see this in people who go through a constant stream of relationships or who never stay single for long, who constantly are trying to seek out a new relationship, whether they get in one or not, or who make strange references to the relationship they are in or relationships in general, such as "I'm so angry at him for being depressed because he's in a relationship; why would he get depressed if he is in a relationship?" as if the relationship is the magic cure-all that means the person in one shouldn't have any problems, or those condescending to others for being single or going through relationship troubles. (It also leads to idol-worship, “being in a relationship” is the idol, because it is saying the relationship is the only thing that can make you happy or “save” your life, which is breaking the first commandment.)

Heal first, build up confidence and really be absorbed personal interests (to the point where you don’t care if you’re single or not) and a true sense of self (complete with morals you’ll stick to even if someone important to you would encourage you to do otherwise). Healing can take many many months or even years. Thorough, real healing. Un-rushed. Then, if you want to (not because you think you have to), get into a relationship. Do not go into a relationship with the intent of using said relationship to heal.  That’s not fair to the other person or to yourself or your future. And it is important not to turn your future partner into your therapist if/when you get in a relationship. (If a relationship is the vocation in life God calls you to. See wisdom chapter 4: http://www.usccb.org/bible/wisdom/4 )

Do not tell your problems to people who do not believe in mental illness or who encourage you NOT to seek professional counseling or drug/herb/supplement therapy, which have both saved thousands and thousands of lives. (These people who argue against help usually go onto become alcoholics themselves because they refuse treatment for their own problems and so "self-medicate" their problems with alcohol.)

Avoid people who are just looking for a good story or who are high maintenance ( http://www.boldradish.com/p/psychology-high-maintence-people.html ) and are just trying to control people around them through knowledge of their life stories. Do not share your problems with them, they don’t sincerely care about your problems first and foremost, they primarily want your story for entertainment or power purposes (ie, they have a lot of issues of their own).

Do not seek help from people who make everything about themselves. For example, that they’ll fix you up or miraculously save you or somehow be your hero or if they play the victim or blame the victim or try to compete with you for who has the toughest life or the worst time. People can help you and that’s great, I would argue my life has been saved by my dad many, many times; people can share their stories with you so you know you aren’t alone in your suffering or the only one who has ever suffered, that’s also great; but be cautious if the other person is just making this about their ego or their own “time to shine.” There shouldn’t be pretense if they are sincere, that person may only become angry at you down the line if you aren’t healing like they expect you to because they’ve made your healing a reflection on his or herself, or if the person discourages external resources for healing (such as CBT) and insists that only s/he can heal you. Even if someone is helping you, your mind and body are what have to be healed. (Some people know it’s about your healing, others haven’t matured to that level of responsibility, even if they are older.)

Do not share your problems with someone else who has gone through a difficult period or depression or anxiety if they use destructive means to “get over it,” such as berating themselves, telling themselves their experiences didn’t effect them (denial), or who use alcohol or other addictive substances to deal with their problems (addictions further denial and prolong the life of problems). (You may be able to help this person in a few months or years after you are strong again if they are still in your life if you approach them humbly and sincerely. Or they may be too far into denial to accept help.)

Do not seek help from people who think being depressed means a person is an intellectual, “cool,” or who romanticizes depression. If someone berates people for being happy or thinks all happy people are “morons,” don’t seek help from them because they think that by being depressed, you are in the right place. You don’t want to heal around someone like this because they will try to impede your healing or even set you back, making you more depressed or anxious.

Do not share your problems with anyone who encourages self-destructive behavior, including addictions or self-harm.

Do not share your problems with anyone who encourages the occult, including New Age or transcendental meditation, to heal, and avoid secularly approved healing methods that are actually occult (but because the secular society that denies the spirit world doesn’t understand this), such as yoga, which is actually a deeply spiritual worship of pagan gods (which Christians believe are demons because they demand honor in the place of the true God), according to real Hindu practioners (and no, there’s no such thing approved by the Church called “Christian yoga,” even if there’s something people call that). [ Jung on Yoga, BoldRadish video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TT2wBeQDCxI ]

Do not share your problems with anyone who uses “tough love,” who thinks berating is encouraging, who thinks you just need to “snap out of it” or be “slapped around,” or who is condescending, critical, discouraging, mean, cruel, or verbally, emotionally, physically or sexually abusive. Do not share with people who blame the victim. These methods will compound the problem as well as beat you down, weaken you, keep you in the same place as opposed to moving forward with healing and overall post-pone healing time. These methods also encourage the development of psychopathic behaviors and philosophies, as well as increase stress and therefore depression and anxiety.

Do not seek help from people who are jealous or envious or resentful of other people for having things or doing things that they don’t have or can’t do. They will try to stop your progress and will berate you, tear you down, become abusive (basically become like in the previous paragraph). It’s hard to imagine that someone could be jealous of you if you’re feeling very bad about yourself, but it isn’t completely about you personally: typically these people are jealous of everyone or anyone who can do something or be something in a way they perceive is “better” than them, and they will try to stop or destroy that person.



[ From Page 3 of this psychology document: http://web.archive.org/web/20070412234521/http://www.psychguides.com/ptsdhe.pdf ] Healing can be impaired or the person may never recover from their problems EVER if they get negative feedback from friends and family.

If you do get negative feedback from those around you, seek other people’s feedback. To a certain degree, we can’t choose who is around us. We may have to do a lot of work to find someone who can help, sincerely help.

Do not stop seeking help. There are people out there going through what you are going through who are seeking real healing. There are real compassionate people who have a ton of knowledge on these subjects who only want to help others, even people who become professionals because they want to help people. They may not be your school counsellor, teacher, family member, or best friend, or even the first counsellor or priest or psychiatrist you try, it may take a few, but those people who do want to help exist out there and are willing to give generously to those who require assistance.

I recommend not bothering to try to argue with people who dismiss you or your problems. Like I said previously, we live in a culture of denial, more and more every day. I would not bother to try to convince them to care about you, about why their statements mean they don’t care about you or the best way that they can care about you. I have found it very very rare that someone listens and changes their approach, or for the change to last any length of time if they do listen to you. I would suggest seeking help elsewhere and making a mental note not to talk about real topics with that person, who can’t, for whatever reason, handle them.

If they want to or are willing to try and understand, that’s a different story.

“Do not open your heart to everyone, but discuss your affairs with one who is wise and who fears God. … Seek only the intimacy of God and of His angels, and avoid the notice of people. … We ought to have charity for all men but familiarity with all is not expedient (convenient or practical).” The Imitation of Christ by Thomas √† Kempis, Eighth Chapter

Out of the FOG (Fear, Obligation, Guilt) is a website dedicated to personality disorders, living or treating those disorders, and living with those with those disorders. It is also for learning to recognize those disorders and has a great forum (I recommend getting help so you don't feel alone; the forum demands anonymity for users, their screen names and those being discussed). [ list of top 100 personality disorder traits: http://outofthefog.net/CommonBehaviors/Top100Traits.html ] If you have some of those disorders listed on the lefthand side of the page, start learning to reduce your anxiety, follow CBT (especially Cognitive Styles app), look over the supplements on this page, and follow the spirituality on this page and on the Lifting Curses and Dealing with Demons posts, and your personality disorders will start melting off of you and out of your life and relationships. Our disorders, wounds, memories, relationships that are bad and pain do not have to define us if we start understanding them and taking care of them.

————— Spiritual: Being Cursed by Misfortune (Including Betrayal), Trusting in God Always

Curses caused by misfortune are represented in the post “Lifting Curses Caused by Playing with the Occult, or Being Subjects to a Curse.” Curses caused by misfortune are healed the same way as dealing with the occult and are addressed in that post: http://www.boldradish.com/2014/11/lifting-curses-caused-by-playing-with.html

I really encourage you to read through the Lifting Curses post, it includes a lot of very valuable information about drawing closer to God and trusting in Him more and more. This can go a long way to heal hopelessness, in addition to everything written on this post.

http://www.boldradish.com/p/exodus-8-then-lord-spoke-to-moses-early.html This prayer is also very important for severing ties between us and those who wish us physical, spiritual, emotional, psychological, and even sexual harm. It is based off of the prayers of Moses and his interactions with the Pharaoh before the beginning of the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt.

The Rosary, especially the scriptural Rosary, and mediating and reading the passages of the Gospels in which Jesus is undergoing His Passion and then Resurrection, gives us intense spiritual strength to trust in the Will of God during all hardships and circumstances of life. Jesus repeatedly submits to God's Will during times of intense trial. By meditating on His Life and remembering His great sacrifice, He lends us His strength and power to pick up our crosses and do God's Will. He gives us the courage to seek treatment and healing for our problems, as well as the means to heal. [ Will Post a Scriptural Rosary in a few days ]

As mentioned in the aforementioned “Lifting Curses” article, there have been many times that I have prayed for peace and love and have not received it. Instead of feeling betrayed by God for not answering my prayer, I felt how deeply He loved me and acknowledged that He knew what was better, He could see farther and was wiser, and so submitted to His Holy Will and kept loving Him and praying to Him and trusting in Him. Even when very extremely bad things happened, that resulted and me developing PTSD (which made me so incapacitated that I wasn’t able to be alone or pray for about year because being alone in my own mind was not safe; during that time, He took care of me). Through trusting Him, I gained much more experience (including bad experience, coupled with good ways to get out of it and heal) so that I might share that experience on here with you through these posts and information and hopefully help and aid in the salvation of souls and betterment of others’ lives. And through all those struggles, we grew very close, God and I. Very deeply close and inseparable.

He also, once my long trial was complete, granted me a peace both internal and external—no more struggles or spiritual battles or crushing obstacles—that I had never known or imagined possible and had never seen in another’s life before and certainly not in the lives of those who refused His grace, those who have abandoned themselves in addition to God and the possibility of real love, even from other people, and who resent their accomplishments and are stagnant, whose lives turn from bad to worse with no hope because they reject Hope and Power Himself. “Turn from evil and do good, that you may be settled forever. For the LORD loves justice and does not abandon the faithful.” [ Psalm 37: http://www.usccb.org/bible/ps/37:27 ]

So do not stop praying to God and trusting Him and submitting to His Will, even when your love for Him is tried (for through trying you, He shows you His true love, as He did with His Son during His Passion and Resurrection). Only good things will come from trusting and loving and praying ardently to Him always, it will always bare good fruit.

Remember always the Parable of the Sower of Seeds. “The seed sown on the path is the one who hears the word of the kingdom without understanding it, and the evil one comes and steals away what was sown in his heart. The seed sown on rocky ground is the one who hears the word and receives it at once with joy. But he has no root and lasts only for a time. When some tribulation or persecution comes because of the word, he immediately falls away. The seed sown among thorns is the one who hears the word, but then worldly anxiety and the lure of riches choke the word and it bears no fruit. But the seed sown on rich soil is the one who hears the word and understands it, who indeed bears fruit and yields a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.” [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/matthew/13 ]

We must always keep this in mind and realize that we could become bad soil if we do not always beg God to make us into the good soil. We must ask Him for this; by our own wills or efforts, we could never become good soil, for the Son of God said: “When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and said, ‘Who then can be saved?’ Jesus looked at them and said, ‘For human beings this is impossible, but for God all things are possible.’” [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/matthew/19 ] It is not possible to become the “soil” to grow good things without God, we cannot just will to or work at alone, God Himself has to make it happen—transform us—in addition to our efforts, so we must be asking Him to make it happen. Becoming the bed for good things to grow from is our salvation, therefore only God can do it. We must depend solely and totally on Him, not the work of our hands. In this way, by trusting Him alone, praying and talking to Him first and foremost all the time, and not ourselves or anyone or anything else first, we will have total peace, He will give us peace, a peace that the world does not know.

“Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will act and make your righteousness shine like the dawn, your justice like noonday. Be still before the LORD; wait for him. … Refrain from anger; abandon wrath; do not be provoked; it brings only harm. Those who do evil will be cut off, … Wait a little, and the wicked will be no more; look for them and they will not be there.” [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/ps/37 ] (Evil is often described in Deuteronomy as trusting in one’s own self, in one’s own will, in one’s own work, in a powerful alliance, as opposed to attributing success to God and trusting in Him alone and submitting to His Will and seeking out His Will.)

For more information and resources on gaining a closer relationship with God, which can greatly assist in depression and anxiety, please see the previous post “Lifting Curses Caused by Playing with the Occult, or Being Subjected to a Curse.”

————— Spiritual: Cursing or Damning Yourself Through Self-hatred

By cursing oneself and acting like oneself is a miserable chunk of flesh that God cannot work through, that person is committing idolatry. They are saying that their own misery is greater than God Himself. Hatred of yourself is as sinful as hatred of another person, and for the same reason: all humans are made in the image and likeness of God and should not be hated (theologically, hatred means condemning that person to eternal punishment, or wishing to see that person destroyed and suffering forever).

Because hatred is a sin, we must turn our sin to God, hand it to Him, so that He may undo it in His Loving Mercy. Instead of despairing over this sin of idolatry, one must turn their heart over to God and His mercy and ask forgiveness and ask for healing and to understand and feel God’s might and no longer hate oneself or others. (Try praying Divine Mercy, Rosary, consecration to the Sacred Heart, and other prayers; just talking to God, especially in the Eucharist. http://www.savior.org/ and http://www.stmartinoftourschurch.org/sample-page/perpetual-eucharistic-adoration/ and “Visits to the Blessed Sacrament and the Blessed Virgin Mary” by Saint Alphonsus Liguroi)

+ Especially good read, “What Demons Know About the Eucharist that Many Catholics Don’t” [ http://www.onepeterfive.com/what-demons-know-about-the-eucharist-that-many-catholics-dont/ ] +

“SELF IMPOSED CURSES” Source: “STEPS TO EFFECTUAL DELIVERANCE” Copyright © 2013 Elder Abel  O. Ezeanya

Careless and negative talks about ourselves limit our abilities.

The Bible states Prov 6:  2 Thou art snared with the words of thy mouth,  thou art taken with the words of thine mouth

Again Jesus said that by your words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

Matthew 12  37 For by thy words thou shalt be justified, and by thy words thou shalt be condemned.

Through the spoken word man is continually making law for himself.

Words have powers.

[…] When the Israelites were moving out of Egypt to the Promised Land, they met with several difficulties on the way and became intolerable of the circumstances they found themselves.

  Their frustrations and anger impelled them to murmur against Moses and against God.

The scripture recorded this as follows: Num 14: 2 And all the children of Israel murmured against Moses and against Aaron:  and the whole congregation said unto them, Would God that we had died in the land of Egypt! or would God we had died in this wilderness!

The result was that God granted them their outward pronouncement.

This was recorded as follows

Num 14: 28. Say unto them, As truly as I live, saith the Lord,  as ye have spoken in mine ears,  so will I do to you: 29. Your carcases shall fall in this wilderness; and all that were numbered of you, according to your whole number, from twenty years old and upward, which have murmured against me.

The effects of their negative utterances set God’s judgement against them. The whole generation that proclaimed defeat against themselves because of their frustrations […] in the wilderness.

You should look beyond your immediate problems.

If you picture yourself performing in a certain manner, the imaginative exercise impresses your mind almost as much as the actual performance. What we are able to accomplish are remarkably influenced by what we believe about ourselves. [BR note: this isn’t absolute, it is simply to say not to curse oneself. Remember Peter who declared that he would never betray Jesus, and Jesus responded with the prediction that Peter would betray him thrice before the cock crowed three times. http://www.usccb.org/bible/matthew/26 line 33-35, http://www.usccb.org/bible/matthew/26 lines 69-75. Peter had confidence in himself as opposed to confidence in God. He later learned from his mistake and told Jesus thrice that he loved him http://www.usccb.org/bible/john/21 and was able to be a martyr for Jesus as opposed to abandoning the faith in times of danger, which is how he died and inherited eternal life through his loyalty and God’s grace. ]

The sage Marcus Aurelius said, “The soul is dyed the colour of its thoughts”.

This means that within your thinking process you can select the colour of life that you desire. You can bring it to actualisation by the type of thoughts you use habitually. [BR note: this is like  realistic thinking seen through God’s mercy and cognitive behavioral therapy, as opposed to like, New Age “positive thinking,” which can ignore reality and make you think of thoughts as a false god that controls reality more than they do. ]

[…] As you start trusting God absolutely, the “wild nature” inherited from Adam will give way to a new birth. His provisions and plans for your life start unfolding to add greater meaning to your life.

Jesus gave a solemn warning about the danger of words that are spoken carelessly: Matth 12: 36  “But I say unto you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgement 37  For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”

What Jesus focused in this quotation pertains to idle talks. These are words that are spoken carelessly, without premeditation.

Often when a person says something foolish or negative about himself, he tends to excuse himself that he did not really mean it.

That the speaker does not seriously mean what he has said does not in any way limit, minimise or cancel the effectiveness of his spoken words.

On another vein, it does not release him from being accountable to his words.

Bold Radish note: When we make mistakes, we must turn to God, pray to Him for forgiveness, give our hearts over to Him, turn to Him in the sacrament of confession to severe the spiritual ties with the sins of verbal abuse (even against ourselves), and trust in His loving mercy and divine love, leaving our sin and our guilt at the foot of His Cross, and not carrying it around with us.

————— Personal Stories: "Hitting Rock Bottom: Destroyed Lives Redeemed"

The Lifting Curses [ http://www.boldradish.com/2014/11/lifting-curses-caused-by-playing-with.html ] post references many books that are collection's of people's personal life stories and how God has heard them and helped them.
Another Story:

Most of my life is written about in this post and used as examples in the “Lifting Curses” and “Dealing with Demons” posts. Furthermore, I found out about all the information I post because I have had to deal with all of those problems personally in my life, and know about all those devotions because I am devoted to them. So you can bet that in a way, all this information is autobiographical, or at least a reflection of my un-written autobiography. My priest told me to share my life story to encourage people who have hit rock bottom, so I will share it here because I consider depression to be a major part of my life.

When I was 17, I tried to kill myself a lot. I didn’t know God or the spiritual world or have anything on earth to live for and no one would have cared if I was gone. I tried to explain to my family I was depressed but they told me to “stop being angsty” and “just get over it,” or just wanted to medicate me and make me quiet; I was too afraid to tell them I was suicidal; my best “friend” asked if she could have my stuff after I killed myself when I told her. I hated myself and was a bad person. I really just wanted to be dead and forgotten and gone.

I was outside, far from home, and trying to kill myself when all of a sudden a huge wind storm out of no where blew onto me. Very fast gusts, about 40 miles an hour from absolutely still air. Then a huge downpour fell on me, very heavy rain, huge rain drops, out of no rain or drizzle or anything at all.

The moment all this happened, the name “Mary” flashed through my mind. At the moment, I didn’t know who that was, what it meant, if it meant anything at all. I didn’t know why that image popped into my mind: from my perspective, it was random nonsense. I somehow associated my foiled suicide attempt with this “mary” and was infuriated at it, cursing the name as I was getting rain-soaked. I hated that I had to live another day on earth, endure another night of my miserable, hated existence.

When I told my priest of this almost ten years later, he told me that the rain was the rain of God’s healing grace falling onto my life, healing it.

So the rain forced me indoors where I couldn’t carry out my plans.

Somehow, in a way I don’t know or don’t understand, that was completely miraculous, I heard a story of Mary’s intercession. I don’t know how because I… had never heard any spiritual or religious stories of something God had done, certainly had never heard a story of Mary (I had absolutely no idea what or who she was in any way), and I wasn’t around people or situations where that would come up. In a similar miraculous way, I read some things online about Mary and Fatima and the Divine Mercy chaplet.

I had no idea how to pray anything or say the chaplet. I didn’t know anything. But somehow, Mary led me to herself. She embraced me and loved me as a tender mother, which I did not have or know. She loved me when I was the most unloveable person on the planet, the most unloved person, the worst sinner. She was my mother. I could pray, talk to her, about anything and everything, and she felt so encouraging and loving and patient. She introduced me to God’s Love in a big, powerful, palpable way. There was no need for faith because her presence and her love were so strong.

I was only able to feel God's love and understand it when I started praying, saying prayers like the Divine Mercy chaplet and the Rosary and ... just talking to God in my own words, reading works by saints. I think if people lose their faith or never had it (like me), it is because they never prayed or stopped praying suddenly or gradually. He'll pour out His grace on those who sincerely ask Him to and don't try to hinder it. [ Thorough Divine Mercy Post, how to say the chaplet, explanations of God's Grace, great prayers ] Quotes God said about His Divine Mercy: "I pour out a whole ocean of graces upon those souls who approach the fount of My mercy." "Even the most hardened sinner, if he recites this [Divine Mercy] Chaplet even once, will receive grace from My Infinite Mercy. I want the whole world to know My Infinite Mercy. I want to give unimaginable graces to those who trust in My Mercy." "...When they say this [Divine Mercy] Chaplet in the presence of the dying, I will stand between My Father and the dying person not as the just judge but as the Merciful Savior." "Rest close to My Heart. Known to Me are your efforts." A Lutheran writes about an outpouring of Spirit while praying Divine Mercy: [ http://www.thedivinemercy.org/news/story.php?NID=3805 ]

Reading Saint Alphonsus Liguori’s How to Converse Continually and Familiarly with God [links to a pdf that can be viewed online for free or downloaded] also opened floodgates of grace onto my soul. When I read that booklet by St. Alphonsus, when I realized how much God loved me, it overwhelmed me so badly that I felt like I was drowning. It felt like a sword had pierced me. I never thought I could be loved, and when I say that reading that book, after having learned how to pray, opened the floodgates of God's grace in my soul, I mean, I understood in such a way, to the fullest extent that I was able to without physically dying from being overwhelmed, how much God loves people, even a worthless, self-loathing, miserable, un-loved person, like I was. I really recommend that book, as well as the Divine Mercy, so you can experience these great graces.

I didn't believe in Heaven or that Heaven existed. How could I believe what I had never known or experienced in the slightest? And when I heard about the concept of "eternal life," I was horrified. I didn't want life to last forever. That sounded absolutely horrible to me. But I knew that if God said there was a Heaven, then I should ask Him to be able to understand that.

I was praying one day in front of a lit candle with a picture of Mary on it. I was so overcome with these intense feelings of God's love that without thinking about it, I said out loud, "I would live forever if only I could love you forever!" And I realized then that that is what Heaven is: a love so intense, so much greater than human or natural love, that it can only exist forever. Time cannot contain it. Its the love of God.

I would eventually be drawn to go to Mass and then confession, where I had a very kind and gentle priest who must have really prayed a lot for me, and he really assured me of God’s love and forgiveness. I think he could tell my sincerity. When that priest dies, he is going to have a splendid, beautiful coronation in Heaven.

After much prayer and suffering silently on my part (I didn't do much to share my experiences with them because I didn't have the words to and they didn't know how to listen so I just prayed and cried to God in private for them), my family eventually converted and started praying, and eventually BoldRadish was created and prayer videos put up.

I didn’t tell anyone about all that had happened with the rain (not even a priest; although I had confessed suicide attempts and self harm as soon as possible to a priest, but no one else) for approximately ten years, when I developed PTSD and sought a priest for counseling. The priest I told this to explained to me that Mary was the equivalent of my Moses, leading me out of captivity and slavery, like Moses led the Israelite slaves out of Egypt.

I didn’t stop trying to heal for those ten years; I didn’t slow down, even when I was expected to be interested in or doing other things or despite people’s opinions of me. I think the Brown Scapular gave me a lot of graces to be completely un-diverted, undistracted, seeking one goal despite difficulties. Mary and the Rosary also provided me with these graces, Mass, Confession, and holy Lourdes water and blessed salt have been constants in my life, too. These changed my family also, because God was with me.

BoldRadish [my dad, who lives in the same house as me] saved my life innumerable times while I was suffering from PTSD. He gave his heart over to God, put God first and so was given the strength to deal with a very difficult, stressful and prolonged situation.


He had the strength to handle the truth of the situation with compassion and a level head because God was with him in truth and deed, not just in word. He didn't try to force me to be better or make me pretend to be better, even when he would have liked me to be better. He never tried to sweep the truth under the rug or tell me to "just get over it" or that I'll somehow "be fine" without solving the problem. The priest told me he was really pleased about my dad's behavior, that he acted the way God intended fathers to behave for their children.

My mother too cried and wept (to God in private prayer) and was generous, extremely king and patient. She never tried to kick me out of the house or push me to get a job when I was still sick like so many people's parents do, and she didn't have a lot of money but she spent her savings on me to try to make me feel better and loved, and try to heal me. She was so nice! She was very kind and encouraging. I'm always so shocked at how generous beyond her means she is to everyone, and how generous she is to me as well. I could recount many remarkable stories.

My dad (boldradish) not only nursed me back to health at a great inconvenience to himself (I was bed-bound upstairs; I had stopped eating and drinking for two weeks before being saved from myself and he nursed me back from that, my parents made me welcome in their home and really took care of me, not to mention how perpetually sick I was), he listened to me, he responded with love and gentleness and kindness, and prevented me from taking my own life many, MANY times. My dad's persistent love kept me alive, and was, on many occasions, combined with God's grace, the only thing that kept me alive.

He showed me that I was loved even when I couldn't feel anything for anyone and even when I was suspicious, thinking he would eventually get fed up with taking care of me and leave me, like everyone else had. But because he trusted in God and God was with him, he never lost patience, he always took care of me. He saved me so much because God was acting with him. None of this information would have been written or discovered without him.

God really showed me that when we love God first, the false, selfish love that worldly people offer is scrapped off of our lives, and those with real, true, honest love in their hearts are given to us, to sincerely love us even when we can offer nothing in return and we're only a burden.

Many times I have run into people in the world who are compassionate, but if you have a problem for any length of time, they get fed up, annoyed, selfish or start despairing, and ultimately leave you alone to fend for yourself, stop helping or caring about you. I was so broken that I couldn't fend for myself: I would have actually died of dehydration, that is how little I could move or care for myself anymore.

Even people who said they were religious but it turned out they were only connected to God in word and not deed. They don't have the patience or strength to continue caring. They didn't put God first: you have to put God first, not just use Him to make yourself sound good or only when you want something from Him, or ignore Him and put others or yourself first. When people put others first, it wears them out, and when they put themselves first, it is isolating and not useful, but if they put God first, give their hearts to Him more and more in a sincere way, not just with words, He strengthens them to help or understand others clearly and gives them what they need for themselves.

So I kept expecting my family to respond this way too, to get tired of me, which is how they had responded in the past before they knew God, and how others who didn't have Him responded. In my 10 years of loving God, I hadn't been in a situation where a human person cared about me all that much, no matter how much I prayed for it to happen. It's as if God waited for me to be totally helpless, so helpless I couldn't even pray anymore, before He showed me His grace working through others. By the time of my PTSD, my family had really had a conversion deep in their hearts so they kept turning to God, putting God first, so He gave them the strength to help me. Eventually I realized that they weren't going to go anywhere or get tired of me (it took about a year and a half of their continual care for me to realize this, before that I could never appreciate their care because I was continually suspicious that it would abruptly end and I'd be on my own to solve my problems).

I consider three miracles of being sick: 1) I was healed through various supplements, counseling, through the ability to have lots of rest (I had to sleep for about two years) , 2) I was able to share this information with others and so hopefully help others, 3) my dad's love and that my parents gave me room and all the tools necessary to heal instead of trying to force me into a state I wasn't ready for yet.

If I could do anything over again, I wish I had: a) had all this information and stayed away from people who kept brushing aside my psychological problems, because I listened to them and so pushed aside my problems to and it hindered me seeking healing and prolonged my pain a lot; b) emailed the archdiocese and explained my condition, that I had depression and problems like that and needed counseling from someone who was familiar with those topics, instead of trying to seek help with other counsellors or other people that I knew (that was a big mistake, I found some really horrible people willing to lie, manipulate and take advantage of my hardships for their own gain, when I should have sought counseling with a holy priest and avoided all the loneliness, despair and cruelty from people:“Do not open your heart to everyone, but discuss your affairs with one who is wise and who fears God”—Imitation of Christ; I wouldn’t have PTSD if I had not listened to those people, who were lying and using me); c) I wish I had known all the information I posted here and had started taking supplements and other things and practicing CBT and had understood why people acted the way they did (because their relationships with God).

But despite the things I would do differently, I don’t have any regrets because of all the graces God has given me and all the ways He drew me near to Him. I don’t blame myself because largely it was other people deceiving me and I couldn’t have known they were lying, but now I would know and be more aware of how bad people can be and that is it important to go to holy people like good priests for help and stay away from people who hate God or don't keep Him in their hearts (even if they say they like Him in word but not deed). God proved to me, showed me, that I do sincerely love Him even though hardship and I am willing to trust Him and appreciate Him even when things don’t happen like how I would have planned, even when very bad things happen. This was wonderful beyond words; it’s probably the best how it did turn out. I also felt like I became initiated into being Christ’s sister, being His real sibling, when I was betrayed, lied to, and facing being murdered, like Christ was. I felt that experience really allowed me to understand how great His Passion was for us (although I wouldn’t wish such a painful thing for anyone, and I encourage you to avoid anything like that).

I hope that you take advantage of all the resources on BoldRadish dot com. I’ve written my share like I would have written them to myself in the past, if I could go back in time and give all this to my younger self. It’s all information I’ve followed myself and wish I had followed sooner or known about sooner because its been so beneficial and really the answer to all that I had been missing and wanting.

May God hold you in His Hand and bless you!



The following story from: http://crossesbycatherine.com/crossesbycatherine.com/My_Story.html

After a messy divorce, and following many bad decisions I had made in my life, I felt selfish and as worthless as garbage. My decisions landed me in a place where I was wiped out emotionally, spiritually, financially and mentally. Looking around and seeing the opposite of what I had dreamed of... I knew that it was“ground zero”,  the bottom. At the same time, God loved me so much that it was as if He cleared the dance floor of all my distractions and asked me to dance intimately with Him. He wanted me to get to know Him again in a new way. After much stubborn deliberation, I made a decision to give my heart back to God.

One of those bad decisions I made was that I had fallen into an emotional affair that further threatened my already-troubled marriage. I considered this man to truly know me. But his life was no less destroyed by our decisions. Throughout my divorce, I watched everything I knew disintegrate. I decided we could no longer continue on like this and I ended the relationship. When my divorce was over, we reunited, and I shared my decision with him to give my heart back to God. He too followed in an earnest desire to turn his life around. Soon we both became very determined to find peace, and allow God to take our relationship in whatever direction He wanted. We started living for God and finding contentment in a new way. Our relationship was redefined in friendship and purity.

That Fall of 2008, God woke me from my sleep and whispered me to make a cross. I made it out of broken pieces of thrown-away furniture. I soon found myself crossing my fork over my knife as a wordless prayer, as well as sticks on the ground, and anything else that I could reach as I prayed.

One day, as my friend and I soul-searched together, we came upon a burned down house. I saw in that rubble a certain brokenness I identified with. Charred, destroyed debris. Completely undesirable, unusable. I asked God, “What can you do with someone like me? Surely nothing, as I am too far gone.”He answered, “Try Me. You will be surprised.”I dragged some of those burned timbers home with me that day.

I confided in my friend what God had told me, and that I wanted to make more crosses. I wanted railroad spikes because they are the nearest modern equivalent to what the Romans used to crucify Jesus. But I had no idea how to weld. He informed me he used to be a master welder. We went out and picked up old rusty railroad spikes, but we had no welding machine. After a week of prayer, a relative provided a small one that was in his garage with the price tag still on it. So began my welding lessons. For two weeks we welded nonstop. We made as many crosses as we could. We loved our crosses so much. “What are we going to do with them?”he would say. I answered ,“I dont know! All I know is that through this process, something powerful is happening to me”. We made cross after cross until we ran out of spikes.

We went scrapping again, and this time every piece of metal appealed to me. It was very exciting all the possibilities I saw in each one. The last cross we made together was very large, out of varying pieces of scrap iron. I had decided I wanted to be completely free of expectation when making it; loose and creative. We let the Holy Spirit guide us along uninhibited. The process was just powerful. Our backs were turned to each other as we finished it. I was so overcome by Gods healing Spirit, I was in tears! I turned to look at my friend, and he was crying too.  We had a long silence as we simply absorbed Gods healing presence. I ran inside the house; I had to go get alone with God and let it all out, everything that I had been through and all the destruction and pain! It was replaced with complete thankfulness for Gods grace. I saw someone very different in myself and in my friend. A miracle was happening in both of us.

Three weeks later I was sitting in the floor putting together a scrapbook of memories of this man and me. I spent hours on it, making it special. As I closed the finished book of photos, it occurred to me that we had not talked at all that morning. The phone rang. It was one of his family members. He had just died from a heart attack.

Words cannot express the emotions that flooded me that day. I asked his ex-wife if we could talk. We did for hours over the next few days. I asked her if she could ever forgive me, and I dont know how she did it, but she did. She expressed a kind spirit and even invited me to his funeral. I was overcome with gratitude.

I took the spike crosses to his funeral with me. I met with his friends, his family. He had given them some of the crosses before he died. I got to see what that meant to them. Other lifelong friends did not know about the crosses. As they struggled with their loss, I would give them one of the crosses that he made. I shared the story of our recent deliverance, about Gods forgiveness... how our lives had been changing because God had set us free. And it seemed that as each cross was passed on, I realized how much this meant to them, and how God had obviously prepared us for this journey.

The priest at the funeral blessed one of the crosses, and placed it on the casket as my  friend was carried away. He is without a doubt in heaven today. This gives me a real sense of peace throughout this entire turn of events. I have been heartbroken. Yet the sadness has been overshadowed by an incredible, powerful sense of victory. Gods providence has been above and beyond all I could have ever expected.

He does all things in LOVE. I now have the most amazing picture of what Heaven is like.  It is a very real place... it is our real home!

When I returned, I started making crosses from the burned house timbers. I worked with this wood until I could get better at welding on my own. I was going to use what I had, and I was not going to stop making crosses any time soon.

Since then, and hundreds of crosses later, I have had much time of reflection. I have learned the most important lesson of my walk as a believer... never take my eyes off the Cross. I now enjoy a partnership with the Master Creator when I make crosses. I worship Him and pray over them while I create. God has shown me that these scraps,

no matter
how ugly,
bent,
rusted
or scarred,

can be
redeemed.

And so
can we.

What God means to me..., from [ http://johnbarrysblog.blogspot.com/2010/08/eighteen-year-old-paulines-medjugorje.html ]

Before I came to Medjugorje, I had really hit rock bottom. My parents are atheist. When I was 9 they divorced. After that I let myself be taken in by all the evils in society.

At 13 I started doing drugs. My broken family slowly reduced me to a state of fear and withdrawal. I was going forward without feeling, without seeing, without living, like a zombie. Empty.

I threw myself into the 'pleasures of the flesh', and I fell apart. I took refuge in my work. Last summer I attempted to commit suicide. Waking up in hospital I realised that life was just horrible. I had no way out, no future.

I had a Catholic friend, Alice. Her life had changed after coming back from Medjugorje, and every time she talked to me about Mary, I could feel light coming into me.

At the end of July she called me: "Pauline, I'm going to Medjugorje and I've booked three seats - one is for you. Come."

It was a shock to me, because I felt Alice's words were a calling. I immediately said 'yes'. However, I had a summer job as an extra on a film set, and I couldn't quit. Also I had no money for the trip.

So I asked my dad, without much hope, because he had told me in the past that he was done helping me. Miracle of miracles, he immediately said 'yes' for half the amount.

My mom gave me the other half. Then the studio informed me there was to be a 10-day break in filming, just at the right time.

I arrived in Medjugorje on the last day of the Youth Festival. I went to evening adoration, then we climbed Cross Mountain for the Mass at dawn.

As I climbed I tried to experience this time with God, but I couldn't concentrate in prayer. I felt only emptiness. When I got to the top I paced back and forth. I felt tormented inside.

Finally I left the Mass and went down the mountain alone. It was like I had heavy armour around my heart. It made me suffocate, and it was blocking out God.

I was not baptised and, at that moment, I understood the importance of baptism. A boy from my region told me, "Pauline, you have to go to confession!" But the idea of telling all my sins to a priest stressed me out completely.

I was thinking, "How am I going to say this? And that? It's too horrible, I can't do it." But I did it anyway. It was my first confession, and I did not know you had to be baptised to receive the sacrament.

Right from the beginning the priest seemed to see very clearly the immense wound that was inside me, and he told me the solution: take Mary as my mother and become again like a little baby in her womb.

What mattered to him most was not my sins but rather having me welcome the heart of the God who was waiting for me and who was suffering with me.

During confession and the blessing that followed, the emptiness that had been inside me disappeared and I cried for joy. I was laughing! It was like all the evil that had built up inside me since the beginning was coming out of me. I could feel all the filth leaving me.

After that, joy kept coming into my heart more and more every day; at last I could pray with the heart.

Now I got up every morning to say my prayers. I experienced the feeling of being filled for the first time. I could feel God healing me. I know the road will be long and tough. "Be strong and hold on!" - those words keep coming back to me.

Now it is impossible for me to consider life without the Holy Trinity. The truth is there. It is so good to be happy.

Pauline, 18, is now preparing for baptism.

"Those who were not my people I will call 'my people,' and her who was not beloved I will call 'beloved.' And in the very place where it was said to them 'You are not my people,' there they shall be called children of the Living God." [ Hosea chapter 2 ]

————— Spiritual: living out the full designated length of your life

“Patient Endurance,” from: St Peter of Damaskos Book ll

The Lord said: ‘He who endures patiently to the end will be saved’ (Matt. 10: 22).

Patient endurance is the consolidation of all the virtues, because without it not one of them can subsist.

For whoever turns back is not ‘fit for the kingdom of heaven’ (Luke 9: 62).

Indeed, even though someone thinks that he is in possession of all the virtues, he is still not fit for the kingdom until he has first endured to the end and escaped from the snares of the devil; for only thus can he attain it.

Even those who have received a foretaste of the kingdom stand in need of patient endurance if they are to gain their final reward in the age to be.

Indeed, in every form of learning and knowledge persistence is needed.

This is natural, since even sensible things cannot be produced without it: when any such thing is born, there has to be a period of patient waiting if it is to continue to live.

In short, patient endurance is required before anything can come about; and, once something has come about, it can be sustained and brought to perfection only through such endurance.

If it is something good, this virtue assists and guards it; if something evil, it confers relief and strength of soul and does not permit the person being tempted to grow faint-hearted, thus experiencing a foretaste of hell.

Patient endurance kills the despair that kills the soul; it teaches the soul to take comfort and not to grow listless in the face of its many battles and afflictions.

Judas lacked this virtue, and because of his inexperience in spiritual warfare suffered a double death (cf. Matt. 27: 5).

Peter, chief of the apostles, possessed it, being an experienced warrior; and when he fell, he defeated the devil who had overthrown him (cf. Matt. 26: 75; John 21: 15-17).

The monk who once lapsed into unchastity, acquired it, and conquered his conqueror by not yielding to the counsel of despair that urged him to abandon his cell and his solitude.

Patiently he said to the thoughts that tempted him: ‘I have not sinned; and again I say to you, I have not sinned.’ (When we have unwanted thoughts, that we do not conjure up in our own imagination or willfully, these are temptations, and not sins. Willfully thinking unchaste thoughts or looking at pornography or the like are sins. We can reject temptation if we call upon God's strength. If you are suffering from unwanted unchaste thoughts, I recommend praying the Hail Mary prayer, which is a prayer based on scriptural quote from the Gospel of Saint Luke, and is most potent during exorcisms, as well as daily life, praying this Hail Mary prayer over and over again silently in your mind while the unwanted thoughts are going on. After three days of doing this, or possibly sooner, if you do it consistently and do not ever willfully engage in thoughts but only have them from compulsion, the thoughts will leave you, because God's grace will triumph. The same is true of blasphemous thoughts, or other unwanted thoughts that are plaguing you. [ Hail Mary, full of grace, our Lord with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. O Virgin Saint Mary, o Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at all times and at the hour of our death. AMEN. ]

What divine understanding and patience in that noble man!

This blessed virtue brought the righteous Job and his initial good works to fulfillment; for had he lacked it even slightly, he would have obliterated all the good he had previously done. But God who knew his patience allowed the plague to strike him for his own perfecting and for the benefit of many others.

Personal note: I often found when I am feeling in despair about something, if I pray to God, “yes, then if I must live with this state of existence that is causing despair, this feeling, then I will live out the full designation of my life like this,” then often He quickly comes to my aid and grants me some wisdom or enlightenment or frees me from spiritual problem and so takes away my despair and burden. When we accept His Will instead of fight it, He often immediately helps us and gives us many proofs of His care and love.

Mentioned in the post “Lifting Curses” is a lot of information about the Brown Scapular. [ http://www.boldradish.com/2014/11/lifting-curses-caused-by-playing-with.html ] This sacramental may be very important in preventing suicides, especially if the wearer is also reciting the rosary, because these graces aid in the person not committing mortal sin.

St. Claude on the Brown Scapular: “‘You ask “what if I desire to die in my sins?”’ I answer, ‘Then you will die in your sins but you will not die in your Scapular.’ St. Claude tells the story of a man who tried to drown himself three times. He was rescued against his will. At last he realized that he was wearing his Scapular. Determined to take his life, he tore the Scapular from his neck and leaped into the water. Without Mary’s protective garment he accomplished his wish and died in his sins.”

While this is a grim story, suicide is usually committed on impulse and either immediately regretted before death or regretted if it wasn’t successful (but may be re-attempted again on impulse at a later time). We can see that three times the man in the story was rescued. For many people, being rescued even once would be extremely encouraging, showing them people and God both care and that there are options besides death, options for solving problems and coming to a better state of life. Where this man failed to continue living or seek help, many others would succeed, aided by the scapular.

Free Brown Scapular:  [ http://www.freebrownscapular.com/ ]
They are also very inexpensive and available from a variety of sites.
[ Dealing with Demons post: http://www.boldradish.com/2014/07/answer-to-email.html ]
[ Lifting Curses Caused by Playing with the Occult or Being Subjected to a Curse: http://www.boldradish.com/2014/11/lifting-curses-caused-by-playing-with.html ]
From this pamphlet on the Brown Scapular: [ http://www.fatima.org/apostolate/pdf/brown_scapular.pdf ] This includes many other Brown Scapular miracles, starting on page 8.
Other stories from this page: [ http://www.carmelitedcj.org/saints/scapular.asp ]

If you desire to heal and improve your life but feel too weak or timid to improve it or heal, don a Brown Scapular, which you can acquire for free from various Brown Scapular organizations (listed above), and pray to God and He will give you the courage you need to be lowered down into Jesus’ presence and be healed by God.

————— Spiritual: Pray to Expel Afflicting Spirits

“What Demons Know About the Eucharist that Many Catholics Don’t” [ http://www.onepeterfive.com/what-demons-know-about-the-eucharist-that-many-catholics-dont/ ]

Again, if you haven't read the Lifting Curses post [ http://www.boldradish.com/2014/11/lifting-curses-caused-by-playing-with.html ], I encourage you to. Not only are there many methods for spiritual healing, there are methods for binding people (not just demons) who are spiritually attacking you.

Prayer: Lord, In Zechariah chapter 14, Jerusalem is struck, pillaged, raped and scattered. You moved Your people to a safe place and then fought those nations, my Lord, that harmed Your people, with all Your holy ones. You were king over all the earth and only Your Name existed. You blessed the people of Jerusalem, inhabited it, and it would never again be doomed. It sat securely.

Jerusalem’s foes, however, that struck the blow, You rot their flesh where they stood, You rot their eyes in their sockets and their tongues in their mouths. You threw them into panic and they fought one another. You plagued all their tools, their riches, their livelihood, their lifebread. Their riches were gathered up, even garments.

Of any nations not utterly destroyed by this attack of Your’s, they came to honor Your Name in Jerusalem after You restored Your people to peace. Those who did not honor You through Your people were left without life, were cursed.

“My lord,” Gideon said to him, “if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us? Where are his wondrous deeds about which our ancestors told us when they said, ‘Did not the LORD bring us up from Egypt?’ For now the LORD has abandoned us and has delivered us into the power of Midian.” The LORD turned to him and said: Go with the strength you have, and save Israel from the power of Midian. Is it not I who send you? But he answered him, “Please, my Lord, how can I save Israel? My family is the poorest in Manasseh, and I am the most insignificant in my father’s house.” The LORD said to him: I will be with you, and you will cut down Midian to the last man. [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/judges/6 ] Or, as the case may be, until the last negative spirit is expelled from my life.

My Lord, that is what has happened to me. You have struck me for a reason, like Jerusalem, that You might bring me peace. You have called me to strike these attackers in Your Name, though I am humble, lowly and poor in spirit. I am now to expel all these exposed spirits plague me, as Gideon was to fight all of the Midians and strike down the last one. You striking me exposed these spirits and so allowed me to expel them to Your Glory. I am also to expose all spirits to the light that they may be forced to flee by speaking with Your servant.

My life will be better because of this experience, because You are in charge of my life and You are a loving and wonderful Father and I have put myself in Your Hands and You never fail those who put themselves in Your Hands and call upon Your Name.

The blow has passed and now You are just going to fight the enemies.

Spirit of self harm, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Put Downs, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of vengeance flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Lack of Discernment flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Anger flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Finding Wrong Friends flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Terror flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Anxiety flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of depression flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of omens, signs flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of schedule breaking flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of disruptions flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of demands flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of No Apologies flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of no appreciation flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of sickness, being an invalid, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of victimization flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of malice flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of revenge flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of self infliction flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of punishment flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of discipline flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of guilt flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of silence flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of slander flee, evil spirit, in Jesus’ Name
Spirit of false negative thoughts flee, evil spirit, in Jesus’ Name
Spirit of lies flee, evil spirit, in Jesus’ Name
Spirit of no forgiveness for me flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of no forgiveness for others flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of poppies, opium, drug abuse, pain killers, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of alcohol flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of false hope flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of false love flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of abuse flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of hatred against me flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of rejection flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of cruelty against me flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of discouragement flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of hatred of life flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of too much pain flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of false friendship flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of dependence flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of horrible sadness flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of desire flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of self loathing flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of a death wish, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of suicidal ideation flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of suicide flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of negative Childhood memories flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of flashbacks flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of feeling guilty for existing, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of feeling ignored flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Sprit of crying/not crying flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of feeling forgotten, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of feeling abandoned, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of feeling left behind, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Stasis (slowing down, stopping), flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Disconnection flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Psychopathic Thoughts flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Hollowness flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Bad Attachments flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Jealousy of me, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name
Spirit of Lack of Confidence in me, flee, evil spirit, in Jesus' Name

From Lifting Curses post: The Rosary is really often used in binding the devil and severing ties with him completely. It is possible to say it with the intention of binding the person who hurt you and severing ties with him or her completely. I have done that to people who have abused me in my life and it has been the cause of my ability to move forward and heal. “Amen, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”—Matthew chapter 18 [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/matthew/18 ] 

A simple prayer before the Rosary, "in the Name of Jesus and through the power of the Most Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary, I bind [Name, or, "one who has hurt me/cursed me/bound me etc."] in the Most Holy Rosary of the Blessed Virgin Mary". Followed by praying the Holy Rosary. (More information on the Rosary in "Lifting Curses" post.) Until I severed the spiritual bond between me and the person who gave me PTSD, I kept getting physically ill.

A curse, including the curse of intense hatred, can be against someone even after the one who cursed the person is dead (they only are no longer able to renew the curse because they are dead). Prayers of deliverance and the Rosary are powerful weapons against these spiritual attacks. You must state you are praying to expel the spiritual attack or the curse before saying the Rosary, or you must break the attack or curse in Jesus' Name, repeatedly.

I will give you an example of what I mean when I say "curse," aside from generalized depression and misfortune (because of God and my submitting to God's Will and praying and meditating on His Passion and Resurrection, my misfortune turned out to be a blessing always). There was an insane man who had rejected God and who was angry at me, furious. His temper was so bad it eventually killed him (aneurysm and high blood pressure). He was angry because I found out he was manipulating and lying to me when he wanted me to think highly of him. He was so furious, he killed his neighbor's cat in an extremely violent way. Every time he thought of me, he was enraged and cursed me, ridiculed me, and made me into the villain of this story, even though he is the one who lied and who had done very bad things. As mentioned in Lifting Curses post, when someone is this furious, it attracts all sorts of demons towards him because he is destroying his own soul. It is a sin and so opens the door for these demonic forces to enter the world. Now, even though he is not an official practitioner of some satanic rite that involves killing an animal explicitly for Satan, how is this any different? He was not honoring God by killing that cat, or by becoming infuriated, He was honoring Satan, demons, the demonic. He was trying to destroy life, both his own, everyone around him who he lied to, and mine. He was full of hatred.

And this was producing a physical effect in me. I would be fine, be starting to recover, and then all of a sudden I would have a flashback (common for PTSD). Or I would have a very intense memory that wasn't quite a flashback. And it would be of him. Suddenly my sides would start burning, about where my kidneys are, get extremely hot (an atypical location for body heat during an emotional response). I was burning up a ton of energy. And then I would have to suddenly sleep for a very long time. All of these are indicative of a curse (see Lifting Curses post); sleep especially. After I bound him (long process in Lifting Curses post), I no longer had these attacks, even if I thought of him. I might even still feel the same emotions, but these attacks didn't happen. The only difference was binding him. Like a criminal put in jail so that criminal can't hurt anyone else, that is what the intent of the spiritual binding was. Not punishment, but prevention of further harm. And it worked. What I bound on earth was bound in the supernatural.

He died less than a year after giving me PTSD, and when he was gone, there was no more spiritual connection between us, because he had crossed over to what I hope was purgatory, where he can expiate his sins and come to a realization and sorrow of his sins before seeing God. (Because to desire someone suffer for eternity--for all eternity--even as he wished for me, is pure hatred and is demonic, and wishing that for someone will be held against us in this life and the next, as we can see it was held against this man during his life with disease, death, and all sorts of deep seated problems.)

Even though I prayed for him to be healed by God and forgiven and be healthy and happy (and got many religious people to pray for him, also, by contacting religious monks and nuns in convents), and wished him no harm but only ultimately good for his soul, "If a person has made a covenant in the dark world to kill another person and the individual happens to be a child of God, whatever is done against him in the dark world will backfire." (From Deep Deliverance, linked below) He was unrepentant. That is why to not pray against people, so you don't have hatred and revenge and unrepentance and unforgiveness caked onto your heart. God will see to things. That man already suffered aneurysms and didn't medicate for them, which goes in line with the quote at the beginning of this post, "whoever is a sinner before his maker will be defiant toward the doctor." [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/sirach/38 ] He cursed himself by not dealing with his medical issues, by defying God who is life and healing in all ways.

As our culture gets further into the occult and more people begin cursing each other explicitly, and farther from God and people start cursing each other implicitly through hatred, idol-worshipping a person, and other unintentional means, this will become even more commonplace. But considering that homicide is the number 2 cause of death for people 15-24 according to the CDC, probably a lot of people are already familiar with this. These numbers result in a lot of spiritual problems.

You absolutely should not let bad people into your life, which might be difficult if they pretend to be good people. Test every spirit, every person, to see if they are good or evil. Pray always for those who have touched your life, bad or good (not necessarily by name, just in general "for all those I've known, known of, who know me, know of me, and those with no one to pray for them").

A curse doesn't have to be from another person nor does it have to be expressed in the way shown in this example. It can be generational or demonic in origin, especially if the occult is involved. It can be linger, as previously stated, after someone has died. Being physically healthy (well rested, peaceful, eating right, having enough water) and building up spiritual armor through the rosary and daily reciting that Exodus prayer and by becoming closer to God and trusting in His Will, can build up strength against spiritual attacks.

Further deliverance reading (from an African Christian): Deep Secret Deep Deliverance by Dr. D. K. Olukoya, Deliverance for the Head by Dr. D. K. Olukoya (if he instructs you to place your hand on your head while praying, do so or get someone who is praying for you to do so), prayers online by Dr. Olukoya.

————— Spiritual: Injustice

One thing that bothered me was that, it seemed I was paying the price of their abuse of me, I was struggling and unable to function or live life fully (or I was bed-bound for two years with PTSD) because of how they had hurt me, but they, who did the hurting and so were un-hurt, were doing just fine: going out and accomplishing all the things they wanted to do, being loved by others and loving them back, being able to be independent (or even get out of bed in the morning), etc. While I was literally struggling to stay alive and was struggling to get over depression so severe, I was almost catatonic. This seemed like a very deep injustice and weighed on me for a long, long time.

The parable of the Wedding Feast: “The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son. He dispatched his servants to summon the invited guests to the feast, but they refused to come.  … Some ignored the invitation and went away, one to his farm, another to his business. The rest laid hold of his servants, mistreated them, and killed them. The king was enraged and sent his troops, destroyed those murderers, and burned their city.” [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/matthew/22 ] As highlighted in this story from the Archdiocese of Colombo, Sri Lanka: http://catholicism.org/india-avenging-christian-elephants.html

To be honest, I never wanted those who hurt me to be punished as much as I deeply wished they had never hurt me to begin with or would just rectify it. But it seemed like they were still somehow affecting me supernaturally, and I wanted that bond that still existed to be weakened between us.

I prayed for those who hurt me to not go to Hell (to the point of praying fervently for them, unless it hurt so much to think about them that I had to stop praying completely) and kept trying to forgive them. The person who gave me PTSD died of an aneurysm within a year of giving me this disorder. While I didn’t have to be afraid of him anymore, it didn’t end my disorder or give back to me what he had taken (only God could do that). And I still felt like others who hurt me weren’t afflicted the way they afflicted me.

I have personally found strength in realizing certain things about those who attack me supernaturally. I have found strength in realizing that their actions, their devotions to the occult and evil, leave them, sooner or later, feeling hollow beyond what I will ever feel again unless I turned from God completely. It always perturbed me that it seemed like they were accomplishing things with their lives, gaining things off of my suffering, while I, suffering under them, was seemingly forced to a halt and not able to do anything or accomplish anything. I saw as the years wore on, though, how lost and miserable they were: they ended up loathing themselves and everything they had accomplished and eventually were unable to accomplish anything.

Their verbal and spiritual violence led them to not understand anything, including why they are alive or what they are doing or why they are doing it. I learned that they hated their lives and wished to die but were afraid of death because they did not have God or understand what either life or death was. I learned they were only doing things and keeping on out of anxiety or stress or compulsion, despite the fact that this is not how they presented themselves.

On the other hand, while I thought I wasn’t accomplishing anything, I was developing such a deep and great love of God, such a tremendous trust in Him, that even while bad things happened to me, I was continuing to trust in Him no matter what. I was learning to speak to Him and listen to Him, to follow Him, learning true peace and joy apart from the world and beyond what the world could offer. I was gaining things from Him that there aren’t even words to describe.

I was gaining life, in this life and in the eternal, while they were dying both now and in the eternal. Love of God is life, and I was being granted, out of God’s infinite Mercy, love for Him, the most precious of gifts, that, again, cannot be put into words or described (as there is no words or knowledge in the world for it). I realized that they were weak and God was my strength; they were turning themselves into nothing and God was turning me into His.

I was so discouraged all the time by their abuse that I wrote down these realizations and read them every morning until my thinking changed so that I believed how weak they were and how strong God was in my life.

I was able to realize this after daily praying this covenant curse prayer that BoldRadish wrote (he is working on a clearer version of the prayer that he will either make a book or a series of videos out of): http://www.boldradish.com/p/exodus-8-then-lord-spoke-to-moses-early.html I still pray this daily to defend against future harm, fortify spiritual armor.

Off-site article that might be of interest, “When a Spiritual Attack Won’t Stop, Try Offering it for Conversion of Sinners”: http://spiritdaily.com/manual2.htm

————— Spiritual: Healing from Resentment of Traitors

One of the biggest problems that I had was with feelings of resentment and bitterness that sprang up from wanting to understand why others had betrayed me when I hadn’t done anything to warrant it—I had not spoken behind their backs, broken their confidence, lied, spoke to them discouragingly. I had stood up for them to my own detriment, I had been loyal, I had not been jealous, I kept a close eye on virtue and kindness and prayed for their intentions and my own conduct towards them, I had not been insulting. When they were poor, I grew close to them; when they were rejected, I accepted them; when they hurt me, I forgave them and helped them. In sadness, I comforted. I tried to have fun and expand them. When they demanded, I gave; I shared when they hadn’t asked, too. I had tried my hardest, although not always succeeded, had still tried, but had still be hurt badly and a lot. On top of that, as a child, I had an alcoholic parent and had been routinely hurt, neglected, isolated, abused and the like. Betrayed me by not acting like a parent when I was too young to have other options or understand what was happening or care for myself. It was not my fault I existed, but I carried around the guilt that it was, no matter how much I tried to reason it away. I did not have any virtue or kindness or been taught any wisdom until I knew God, Who Himself found me (I had not been raised with Him) when I 17, and just at that time, it felt like I was starting to be born and learn and awaken.

One could reason that they were very sick people and so that is why they hurt others. But at what point does responsibility start and sickness end? At what point is everyone sick? At what point is it just obstinance in the Face of God’s Love? That is something that only God can know. I knew from my own experience, as soon as I found out about God, I ran to Him, threw myself to Him, clung to Him, and tried my hardest to get better, to heal from my illnesses and sin (even though I failed many times, I tried, which many others seemed to reject trying). But maybe He found me at a time in which I would do that; maybe if He had come to me at another time, I wouldn’t have responded that way. There were too many variables for this line of reasoning to bring me comfort about others’ behavior.

I felt deep down it was my fault, but then I would try to correct myself by reasoning that it was not my fault. This led to the thought, “then why was I hurt?” Which in turn led to the thought, “it was my fault.” And so these thoughts and feelings kept cycling circularly until I was small and bitter and couldn’t escape myself.

I understood forgiveness was to pray that those who hurt you did not go to Hell. But I still feared and resented people and didn’t understand them, and it made me so small and bitter. I hated those feelings but couldn’t shed them. I prayed for God to take them for me. He finally did one day after a very long time and it freed me. He probably waited until I was ready for this information to really effect me and free me.

It’s not about me; it’s about their relationships with God. As David sings to God in Psalm 51, “Against you, you alone have I sinned.” [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/psalms/51 ]

If one would abandon me, hurt me, abuse me, not talk to me, ignore me, insult me, break me, gossip about me, slander me; it is because they are doing this to God. “Amen, I say to you, whatever you did for one of these least brothers of mine, you did for me.” [ Matthew chapter 25 http://www.usccb.org/bible/matthew/25 ]

People’s response to the world around them is based on their relationship with God. Either they are rebelling against God and so actively hurt others or struggle with God and struggle to not hurt others, or have spiritual problems and so have problems with others. Even if a person claims to be close to God, like the Pharisees, if they are cruel, it is because they are struggling with God, or rejecting Him, or cutting Him out of some part of their lives, or something. And even God has written His laws onto the hearts of those who don’t explicitly know Him, as Therese teaches us in Story of a Soul (resource in “Lifting Curses” post), so they are either rebelling against God or seeking Him, as well.

Even though people don’t know this consciously.

If someone hates God and listens to demonic influences a lot, even without being aware this is what is going on or even if rejecting this idea, they will attempt to attack, even without knowing why, things that are God’s. When I became a Christian, all my really abusive friends left me, because they were not leaving me, they were rebelling against God, leaving Him. Because how we treat others reflects our relationship with Him. I was abandoned by people who were abandoning God.

When I realized this, it made me an almost moot point in the equation. I was free to be able to think or talk about even past abuse that had, before, been almost impossible for me to think or talk about. Because I realized that it was never about me, it was about God and their relationship with Him. It took all the emphasis off of me, it freed me. It was like I didn’t exist, only God did, which was absolute freedom. In essense, their hurting me didn’t matter because they were hurting God. If he wanted to do something about their behavior, He was more than capable of rising up and doing it (I would put it in His Hands this way, telling Him they were hating Him and His Kingdom and being jealous of His Authority and His Throne, they were not really hating me, and if He wanted to do something about it, He should).

That is also why when those people who left God and so left me, once I got over initial sadness of them not being around, my life would get easier. And when those who would repair their relationship with God or repent of their problems, would then return to me and we would be friends (or family, as with happened with my family) again, my life would be better, then, too! It is all because of their relationship with God first and singularly, not with me. It wasn’t me.

When a person begins a bad sin or vice, such as, for example, alcoholism or serial fornicating, especially if it is because they are explicitly rejecting God by replacing Him with these actions or addictions (not out of some weakness or improper training), it tends to happen that all their other friends who don’t do these things fall away and they eventually find themselves completely alone. But before they find themselves alone, they typically suddenly find themselves surrounded by new “friends” who share the same vice. That is because of spiritual workings going on “behind the scenes,” so to speak. These new “friends” may stay as long as they are bound under the weight of the same sin or they may break up and disperse because of the weight of the sin (which may/usually leads to other sin, such as back-biting, abuse, etc., things that follow rejecting God and therefore not having His grace to help them be better people). But it is all because of supernatural, spiritual connections, bonds. And these ultimately lead back to the greatest spiritual and supernatural bond, those souls’ relationship with God.

When people demonically attack me, disrespect me, suffer me with sexism, cruelty, silence, screaming, control, kicking, slander, gossip, ridicule, abandonment, neglect, hate, take me for granted, it is not because they hate me, but because they hate God or fight God or rebel against God or abandon God. Even though I don’t feel anything special, it is not about me but about God. How we treat others is a reflection of our relationship with God.

[ 1 John 4: http://www.usccb.org/bible/1john/4 ] If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. This is the commandment we have from him: whoever loves God must also love his brother.

(The same goes for anyone who openly claims to be a good person or who makes claims that they love goodness or truth. That is why it is not good to open oneself up for hypocrisy by making such claims, even in the silence of one’s own heart, which God can see and will expose the arrogance of if the actions don’t correspond to the claim. He exposes this so that we can realize our fault and turn our sins over to His Mercy, that He can transform them into true virtue.)

This realization seemed to answer all my “whys” and take the pressure off of me. They weren’t abusing me, they were trying to abuse Him, attack Him. In essence, its His abuse to deal with. I’m just His. This realization freed me from brooding, feeling small, and hatred, and it allowed me to work unencumbered and without a lot of labor or pain. (Often I would be weighed down so heavily with these emotions that accompany betrayal that everything was difficult unless it completely distracted my mind from these thoughts, which most tasks did not.)

It also freed me from the burden of the past. The past was no longer my past, it was His past. It freed me from the fears of abuse in the future. It was no longer my future, it was His future.

“For the yoke that burdened them, the pole on their shoulder, The rod of their taskmaster, you [Lord] have smashed, as on the day of Midian.” [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/isaiah/9 ]

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for your selves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.” [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/matthew/11 ]

Then, if its sickness on their part or hatred, it doesn’t matter to me, because it isn’t about me. And my kindness to them isn’t about them, I am kind to them out of love of Jesus, who loves them. (Or I avoid them after praying for them because they are cruel to me or hurt me, after trying to forgive them or work it out with them and it not working, because of their relationship with God, not me.) So long as I continually go to confession and stay in God’s grace, and pray to Him to understand this, I have been greatly freed by this.

May you have the grace to understand and be freed by God from all your pain, as well. I suggest praying the Rosary, Divine Mercy and Rosary of Liberation for these gifts that are worth more than all earthly wealth, gifts that the world cannot give.

————— Spiritual: Depression and Spiritual Causes

“I have tried to explain confession to Non-Catholics. Usually I am unsuccessful not because I don’t communicate well but rather they are not willing to listen. For if there was a way out the hell that they suffer; it would change everything. Their baggage would be light and they would be free to enjoy life. People usually don’t like dramatic change even if it is good.”—James Nugent

Sometimes we have depression, sometimes even suicidal depression, because it has a supernatural, spiritual origin from our own sin. This is not to say it’s from the guilt of sin, as the following story will illustrate (the woman did not know it was a sin and had no guilt from it, nor was it biological in origin because it occurred a year later). The fix is also very easy (easier than living a crippled life full of depression that may end in suicide, anyway).

We may not be aware of the sin we committed. Oftentimes it isn’t as obvious as the one in the story below. It can be slander, gossip, lying to someone, making fun of people (even without them knowing it), maliciousness. It can be jealousy of someone else’s talents or possessions or accomplishments. It can be rejoicing over someone’s shame or failure if that person is protected by God. It can be refusing to ask for forgiveness from someone we’ve wronged or refusing to give it (reminder: forgiveness and reconciliation aren’t the same thing; forgiving someone doesn’t mean you let them back in your life if they’re still dangerous, and to forgive someone you don’t have to speak to them if they are still dangerous, you need to forgive from your heart). Because this is an attack on God’s Will. When we ridicule someone for superficial reasons, we are ridiculing God. We are saying God failed in His creation. This is because humans are made in the image and likeness of God.

Likewise, sexism and racist are also very big sins. Any dehumanization of people in our day to day lives is an attack on the Face of God. “In the faces of men and women I see God…” (Walt Whitman). Theologically accurate.

It can be attacking someone (even verbally), arguing with someone, fighting people (even verbally), trying to control or teach everyone, those who don’t want to be controlled or taught. Trying to control people through prayer, praying prayers to control people instead of trusting in God’s Will. It can be telling someone’s secret that you were supposed to keep private.

It can be a lack of appreciation for someone, sweeping what they’ve done for us to the side, not remembering it or seeing it as a sign of God’s love, not thanking them. It could be not paying attention to someone trying to help you, not listening to them, like the quote at the beginning of this section, how the people ignored James. Passing up that huge opportunity for the salvation of our souls and our lives, both here and eternally, handed to them directly from God, like Nugent was saying. That is a very bad sin, that is ignoring God.

It can be neglect, if we ignore someone who is crying out (if they are not dangerous): remember the parable of the goats and lambs, those who didn’t commit explicit evil but who simply ignored those who were suffering—who were strangers and alone, who were hungry and naked, who were ill and in prison, and all forms of prison—were condemned [ Matthew Chapter 25 lines 31-46: http://www.usccb.org/bible/matthew/25:31 ]. Sometimes this can be very inconvenient for us, but we must trust in God and do His Will. If we are exasperated with others for having problems beyond their control, for example people get angry at other people for having a disorder or a mental problem or a physical limitation because it is seen as an inconvenience, this is also a sin.

You might not even remember the incident. It might have destroyed someone else but seemed like nothing to you, so you can’t even recall it.

It can be playing with the occult, horoscopes, new age, ouija, tarot, divination (predicting the future), palm readers, summoning ghosts, spirits or demons, yoga, blaspheming or taking God’s Name in vain, excessive hatred or anger/rage, or the like. This occult one is a big one that really messes up a lot of people’s lives. More information available on the post “Lifting Curses Caused by Playing with the Occult, or Being Subjected to a Curse”: [ http://www.boldradish.com/2014/11/lifting-curses-caused-by-playing-with.html ] Why Psychics and the like can’t remove curses, by Fr Amorth the Exorcist: [ http://www.boldradish.com/2012/02/father-amorth-on-removing-curses.html ]

As previously stated, it can be attacking oneself as well. We are all made in the image and likeness of God. It can be idol worshipping other people (thinking other people are beyond God’s punishment or laws—which no one is, He will reach everyone), or idolizing some aspect of life, like a status or a job title or a relationship or your own work, own efforts or own self, or even worshipping the medical and material aid we receive more than we honor the God who created that aid.

We can also idol worship guilt! Making sacrifices of ourselves to it all day long. If we go to confession, make right our sins to the greatest extent of our ability (including attempts to prevent future sins), and we still carry around guilt with us, then we are saying our guilt is greater than the salvific work of Jesus, part of the trinitarian God. We are denying the power of God to heal our sins by continuing to carry around our guilt. We are denying the miracles that flow from confession, as well. Often we are healed physically or socially or financially or in a variety of ways when we are restored to God’s grace. We must, absolutely must leave our sins at the Foot of the Cross, along with any guilt we may feel (as the woman in the following story does very well).

We not only have to confess our sins, but we must rectify them. To the extent that we are able, we must un-do the damage that was done, including perhaps writing reminders to ourselves when we first wake up to avoid those things (for example, a reminder to be patient or to not verbally fight with others or argue or get frustrated with sinners). (A lot of these sins are addressed in the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy app “Cognitive Styles CBT Test” [ http://www.excelatlife.com/apps.htm#cbttestapp ] not because this is a religious app, but because even secular psychologists realize these behaviors are what destroy people’s lives. I suggest working with that CBT app and using key information you gather from it to read in the morning to prevent sin that can hurt your life. As well as write down any advice or things given to you in confession by the priest. )

There are a variety of spiritual ailments derived from sin which can cause depression. There is a confession app for the phone or a tablet that is meant to be used in conjunction with a Catholic priest in the confessional. This app has the approval of the Catholic bishops of America. It is called “Confession: A Roman Catholic App” and it’s free. I also promote just talking to the priest as a counsellor, talking to the priest directly.

The following is a story of a woman whose sin caused her depression (even without realizing it was a sin) and how her confession healed her. It is the story of another woman who refused to let go of her unforgiveness and sin and it destroyed her life completely. From James Nugent’s “More Good News About Being Catholic”

In My Office

It all started in my counseling office almost two decades ago. Anna was suffering a life threatening depression.

I was desperate to do anything to help her.

I got her Doctor to prescribe antidepressants. I had made outside consultations, and had tried a variety of strategies. Still, nothing was really working.

Anna would kill herself sooner or later. She had everything to live for. She had: the house, the job, the husband, the kids, a lot of money and rewarding community volunteer work. By every standard she had a pleasant and rewarding life.

But Anna was not well. A year after an abortion, several years ago, the first symptoms of a debilitating depression got a strangle hold on her.

This wonderful, successful, and happy woman was broken. She had been seeing me about a month when her symptoms became so acute she needed to be hospitalized.

She went to the regional Hospital, which happened to be a Catholic hospital. I visited her while she was there. I just didn’t know what else to do for her.

Anna had a happy history of church attendance but when she got married she stopped going to church. Soon she fell away from all religious practice.

One day it clicked in my head! We had not even explored the possibility of spiritual resources.

I asked her about the possibility of her going to confession. She wasn’t against it, but she didn’t see why?

We talked for an hour and eventually agree to see a priest and I said I would arrange it while she stayed in the hospital.

I ran to find the Chaplin. The Chaplin was a kind and wise woman. She told me the name of the visiting priest. I was overjoyed to hear the name. He was someone I knew and respected. In fact I had his personal number and called him immediately and made an appointment for Anna the following day.

The next day I showed up to see Anna about the time Father Dave was getting to the hospital. Anna had cold feet, and was afraid to see the priest unless I was there. I told her that I would be outside the room but I didn’t want to be a distraction from the sacrament.

She complained that I already knew all her sins, so what would be the harm? I insisted that she needed to do this alone.

She did confess her sins and receive absolution. It only took about 4 minutes and then the crisis was over!

We met several more times but there was not much to talk about. She explained to me that she had met with Christ’s representative on earth and she had been healed of her sins.

She was committed to doing better and that was that. She did not want to dwell on the killing of her child and she would see her in heaven.

I just listened and affirm that God loves her.

A Fellow Therapist

I reported my success to a trusted colleague with whom I had consulted about Anna.

She bitterly blew a fuse.

Mara* said, “I don’t buy it.”

Confused I thought she was saying she didn’t believe my story of success. Rather she explained that she didn’t think you could do a little ceremony and all could be forgiven.

She explained that people who had been personally abusive to her needed to suffer in hell or there was no justice in the universe!

I responded by saying that in Anna’s faith system there was a way out of hell by reconciliation with God through Christ her savior.

As far as Mara was concerned, I told her she better find a way out of hell, because the need for revenge was eating up her mental health.

Five years later Mara became a recluse and disconnected her phone. I went to her house once to do a wellness check but she did not answer the door even though I could see she was home.

“More Good News About Being Catholic”
By James Nugent

* the name “Mara” means bitter in Hebrew, according to the Book of Ruth [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/ruth/1 Chapter 1 Lines 19-22 ], probably changed by the author to protect the person he was writing about and to make a point.

93% of women admit to regretting abortion, even if they wanted it in the first place and came from an abortion-supportive environment.

Having an abortion increases a woman's suicidal ideation 10 times after the abortion, even if she was not suicidal to begin with.

Most women who do not seek reconciliation with God after an abortion continue to feel an un-ending hole in their lives.

Project Rachel, or HopeAfterAbortion.com, is a support group that includes spiritual healing for women in the aftermath of an abortion. It is free, non-profit, and Catholic, but will reach out and assist any one of any faith or lack thereof.

As of 2015, 40% of USA's planned parenthood's funding comes from the United States federal government.

Unsolicited, personal abortion testimonies from Abort73.com can be read here

I recently had an abortion, two weeks ago. At first I wanted it over with; now I'm very upset I made that choice. My boyfriend and I thought abortion was the best choice. But it’s not. I deeply regret this now. It hurts me every day. There hasn't been a day go by that I haven’t balled my eyes out. I wish I had my baby back. I've kept this to myself because I'm ashamed. At work everyone notices I've been "different,” and it's just hurting me to hold this all in. My ex said he'd be there for me, but he isn’t. Now I feel as if I made this decision on my own, and he doesn't even care. I feel alone and hurt. My baby would have been so beautiful, and I killed it with abortion meds. I wish this was a nightmare, and I could just wake up. But I can’t. It's too late. I just wish I had a shoulder to cry on. It will never get better; I'll always have a part of me missing. My heart is completely broken, and I'll never be able to have my angel again. Honestly, to anyone out here trying to get an abortion, please don’t. Think about it really good and realize you will never be able to take it back.

80% of marriages where the couple lived together for two years before getting married end in divorce. A greater number of relationships where the couple lives together ends and there is no legal protection for either party involved and little emotional support for either person because there was never a marriage.

Praying for the virtue of chastity, wearing a Brown Scapular, and praying the Rosary will go a long way in obtaining the virtue of chastity, God's blessing on a relationship, and His work in holding a relationship together. It will also prevent bad relationships where you end up just getting used by the other person for sex and then having your life fall apart after it ends, and it will also prevent situations where abortion might seem like a positive option (such as emotional immaturity for having a child or committed relationship).

Chastity is the virtue by which a person lives out the gift of their sexuality according to God’s intentions. God designed sexual intercourse for two purposes that can never be separated or denied: first, to unite men and women together in a life-long relationship of marital love; and second, to allow them to participate in God’s work of creation. 

Chastity requires that we use our sexuality exclusively for God’s purposes of union and procreation. 

Those who are not married lead chaste lives not only by abstaining from intercourse, but also by not engaging in any activity that intentionally stimulates sexual arousal or climax. 

This is because arousal and climax are designed for intercourse, and intercourse is designed for marriage. 

So the unmarried must never cross the line between physical displays of affection and intentional sexual stimulation or climax. 

Also, chastity requires that we avoid all forms of masturbation, pornography, non-vaginal intercourse, contraception, and artificial reproductive technologies since all of these deny or separate God’s purposes of union and procreation.


NFP, or Natural Family Planning, is what many orthodox Christians and people of other religious backgrounds use to prevent or achieve pregnancy. It is highly effective and does not involve contraception. (It is not the "rhythm method.) More information on NFP here.

"NFP uses the female body's natural rhythm of fertility to either avoid or achieve pregnancy. This is not contraception. It may seem like a small & technical distinction, but in terms of morality, there is a world of difference. This is especially important for those practicing Catholic natural family planning because of moral convictions."

The spiritual and psychological and emotional impact for using NFP versus contraception is huge. The impact is much greater. It also requires abstinence during certain times of the woman's cycle, which, in turn, strengthens the level of commitment and fidelity of each partner to the other, as oppose to weakening it. This is because it makes sexual activity more special, and also brings down God's blessing, which imbues it with the virtues of love, trust, and loyal, which all come from God. It also keeps the view of each partner in context of God and the other person's status as a spiritual child of God much more effectively than the use of contraception would, so that the other person is not trivialized into a mere sex object.

From the Official Catholic USCCB site on NFP, which can be read here: "NFP reflects the dignity of the human person within the context of marriage and family life, promotes openness to life, and recognizes the value of the child. By respecting the love-giving and life-giving natures of marriage, NFP can enrich the bond between husband and wife."

"Helping couples to deepen conjugal love and achieve responsible parenthood is part of the Church's total pastoral ministry to Catholic spouses. Fulfillment of this ministry includes both education and pastoral care. This means 'instilling conviction and offering practical help to those who wish to live out their parenthood in a truly responsible way' (Familiaris consortio, #35)." From United States Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB)

Mark Chapter 2: [ http://www.usccb.org/bible/mark/2 ] When Jesus returned to Capernauma after some days, it became known that he was at home. Many gathered together so that there was no longer room for them, not even around the door, and he preached the word to them. They came bringing to him a paralytic carried by four men. Unable to get near Jesus because of the crowd, they opened up the roof above him. After they had broken through, they let down the mat on which the paralytic was lying.

When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Child, your sins are forgiven.” Now some of the scribes were sitting there asking themselves, “Why does this man speak that way? He is blaspheming. Who but God alone can forgive sins?”

Jesus immediately knew in his mind what they were thinking to themselves, so he said, “Why are you thinking such things in your hearts? Which is easier, to say to the paralytic, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Rise, pick up your mat and walk’? But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority to forgive sins on earth”—he said to the paralytic, “I say to you, rise, pick up your mat, and go home.”

He rose, picked up his mat at once, and went away in the sight of everyone. They were all astounded and glorified God, saying, “We have never seen anything like this.”

The Brown Scapular is an important sacramental for assisting people to accept God’s grace of healing. It is mentioned further in “Lifting Curses” post, and also “Dealing the Demons” post, (including where to get a Brown Scapular for free) but here is another story:

During the Spanish civil war in the 1930s, seven militant atheists* were sentenced to death because of their crimes. A Carmelite priest tries to prepare the men for death; they refused. As a last resort, he brought the men cigarettes, food and wine, assuring them that he would not talk religion. In a short while they were all friendly, so he asked them for one small favor: “Will you permit me to place a Scapular on each of you?” Six agreed, one refused. Soon all Scapular wearers went to confession. The seventh continues to refuse. Only to please them he put on the Scapular, he would do nothing more. Morning came, and as the time of the execution came near, the seventh man made it clear that he was not going to ask for a priest. Although wearing the Scapular, he was determined to go to his death an enemy of God. Finally, the command was given, the firing squad did its deadly work, and seven lifeless bodies lay sprawled in the dust. Mysteriously a Scapular was found approximately 50 paces from the bodies. Six men died with Mary’s Scapular; the seventh died without the Scapular.

*In the 20th century, Communists called themselves “militant atheists” and killed 70 million people in Russia alone in the name of atheism and in an explicitly stated attempt to destroy God and subsequently humanity. Russia had formerly been the most religious country on the planet. (Pope Francis encourages Catholics not to hate atheists, recognizing they can do natural good. Important to pray for their salvation. Explanation of what the Pope actually said about atheists: http://www.catholicvote.org/what-pope-francis-really-said-about-atheists/ )

We can see from this story that even those initially obstinate to God’s grace eventually had their hearts moved to return to Him before death (save for the one). 6 repentants is a remarkable feat, and the scapular was much more beneficial than speaking with them was because it was a direct conduit to God’s saving love, forgiveness and healing.

If you desire to heal and improve your life but feel too weak or timid to improve it or heal, don a Brown Scapular, which you can acquire for free from various Brown Scapular organizations, and pray to God and He will give you the courage you need to be lowered down into Jesus’ presence and be healed by God.

Free Brown Scapular:  [ http://www.freebrownscapular.com/ ]
They are also very inexpensive and available from a variety of sites.
[ Dealing with Demons post: http://www.boldradish.com/2014/07/answer-to-email.html ]
[ Lifting Curses Caused by Playing with the Occult or Being Subjected to a Curse: http://www.boldradish.com/2014/11/lifting-curses-caused-by-playing-with.html ]
From this pamphlet on the Brown Scapular: [ http://www.fatima.org/apostolate/pdf/brown_scapular.pdf ] This includes many other Brown Scapular miracles, starting on page 8.
Other stories from this page: [ http://www.carmelitedcj.org/saints/scapular.asp ]

————— Thanksgiving

After we are healed, let us not be like the nine lepers who did not return to Jesus when He cleansed them, but let us be like the one leper who thanked Jesus and thank God every day of our healing and the aid He provides to us through the physical world that He created, keeping in mind that we would still be suffering if He had not assisted us. (Luke 17:11-9 — http://www.usccb.org/bible/luke/17 )

Psalm 116: http://www.usccb.org/bible/psalms/116
I
1
I love the LORD, who listened
to my voice in supplication,
2
Who turned an ear to me
on the day I called.
3
I was caught by the cords of death;
the snares of Hell had seized me;
I felt agony and dread.
4
Then I called on the name of the LORD,
“O LORD, save my life!”
II
5
Gracious is the LORD and righteous;
yes, our God is merciful.
6
The LORD protects the simple;
I was helpless, but he saved me.
7
Return, my soul, to your rest;
the LORD has been very good to you.
8
For my soul has been freed from death,
my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling.
9
I shall walk before the LORD
in the land of the living.
III
10
I kept faith, even when I said,
“I am greatly afflicted!”
11
I said in my alarm,
“All men are liars!”
12
How can I repay the LORD
for all the great good done for me?
13
I will raise the cup of salvation
and call on the name of the LORD.
14
I will pay my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people.
15
Dear in the eyes of the LORD
is the death of his devoted.
16
LORD, I am your servant,
your servant, the child of your maidservant;
you have loosed my bonds.
17
I will offer a sacrifice of praise
and call on the name of the LORD.
18
I will pay my vows to the LORD
in the presence of all his people,
19
In the courts of the house of the LORD,
in your midst, O Jerusalem.
Hallelujah!

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Spiritual healing is essential. If you only heal the body, the life of the person will never be healed. While physical healing is essential, to only rely on physical healing of depression is idolatry in that it is putting medicine above God.
Divine Mercy II: the Kingdoms of Light and Dark goes into detail about the spiritual world in effect in a person's life and the power of the Divine Mercy Chaplet to heal a person's soul.
if you don't know what Divine Mercy is, this Divine Mercy Post is a gentle ease into the devotion.
St. Philomena Page: She is patroness of impossible causes, bringing families back together or bringing people together, miracles big and small, financial troubles, mental health issues (depression, disorders, anxiety), and especially good for those suffering from a curse of from playing with the occult (she's a deliverance/exorcism saint), or to pray to her instead of playing with the occult because her intercession is so powerful with God that you will see amazing things happen, as well as long term effects of her intercession.
If you are not experiencing healing after repenting of your sins, this might be the problem.
See also our other pages linked on the prayer request page, thank you.