Sunday, May 12, 2024

Disaster on a Yoga Mat

 The woman in the story [linked] below wished to share her experience as a warning to others. She does not want others to "learn the hard way," as she did...

Thursday, November 2, 2023

Spiritual Wound Healing Links

In my last post, I posted about praying deliverance prayers with the friendly and kind Exorcist Monsignor Rosetti in the SMC videos at, that he is very sincere and you will have a deep experience with God's Love, a real experience with God like in the Gospels.

I also linked to a "healing from shame" video.

So I'm just going to post some links from their website.

The "shame" video is linked here along with a bunch of other brief videos (deliverance from fear, demons of pornography, healing mind and heart, Holy Land blessing, etc lovely collection of little videos):

There's a link at the top of the site that says "blog." Once you click it, keep scrolling down the page to get to the actual blog (it's a ways down the page). It's a very interesting blog. 

There are also little videos on instagram linked from the front page where the exorcist explains things or tells stories of exorcisms -- if you are like me and don't have social media accounts, you can still see the instagram videos if you click on them from the front page of their website (just not their instagram page). The reason is because you can see instagram videos if you have a direct link to the video, which you get by by clicking on them from the home page of

Also after this last deliverance session video, October's video, I've been able to pray constant Hail Marys all day in the back of my mind -- a wonderful devotion i have mentioned in other posts. I recommend doing this, praying them in the back of your head from when you wake up to when you go to sleep (except when you are talking or writing of course), asking God to be your Light to understand and be close to Him and praise Him. I recommend it if you can (are physically able, sometimes we can't always use our minds so constantly, I've noticed within myself) - if you have spiritual resistance, keep pushing through. 

You were born to love and praise God. You'll be praising and loving God for all eternity. That's what the Hail Mary is - the praise of God. Praying this way has made me happy like nothing on earth has ever done. So I thought I'd share it, hoping you would also be happy from it. Chases those bad thoughts away, sooner or later, because if the devil and Mary occupy the same place, Mary will always win and crush his proud head, forcing him out.

Well, no matter what you decide to do or can do, I certainly hope that God touches you and brings you much closer to Himself so you can be happy and experience the goodness of His holiness, His love.

Having a charming day in the love of Christ!

Thursday, May 11, 2023

No matter what your problems are, you will be helped by praying these online deliverance prayer sessions with kind Priest

My life has changed and i have received a lot of healing from God through praying these. 

They will help you, too, no matter what problems you are suffering through.

No matter what your problems are, you will be helped by praying these deliverance prayers because they really close the doors to sin and open you up to God's healing and graces in your life. You can pray together with a priest, asking God to heal spiritual wounds and receive deliverance from darkness.

They are once-a-month live group prayers. All are invited from the privacy of their own homes.

They are in English: the prayers are both written as well as spoken clearly so you can follow along. I think even if you don't grasp English well, you will be be prayed over by the priest, everyone else, angels and Saints, and your soul will understand and be happy. 

You can RSVP here by following this link: 

When you RSVP, you will receive an email. A little bit before the live session begins, you will get an email with a link to the live session. (Do not share this link publicly because anyone against God's work will use it with bad intent.) 

The sessions are in Eastern time zone of the United States. You can use this time zone converter to find out what time that is for your location. The default conversion time is into EST — Eastern Standard Time, and the default top time should be for your current location, so it should give you the correct time just be clicking the link. If not, enter your city, state/province/etc, country in the first box and "EST" in the bottom box. 

If you find you missed the live session, you can still click the link and watch the video, it just won't be live anymore. You can continue to pray the session when you need it, even daily if you want. I do recommend watching live but I downloaded and watched the last session almost daily and it has changed my life a lot.

The priest is Monsignor Rossetti, an American priest who wrote the best selling book, "Diary of an American Exorcist." He is a very joyful, kind, sincere and humble man, and you feel a sincere relief and joy after attending one. "A peace the world cannot give you." 

You will probably want to watch your first in private. You may have a strong emotional reaction in the beginning or any point during the session when God's all-powerful love envelopes your heart. 

There may be some spiritual obstacles, resistance (not from God but allowed by God) to watching one, such as forgetting the time or being nervous, feeling indifferent, bored or impatient, but pray to God and your guardian angel and they will make sure you overcome those obstacles and resistance, in order to receive the healing Jesus lived, died and resurrected to give us. 

It is a real religious experience of real Christianity. That's why I want everyone to get to experience it. You really understand God and His angels and Saints in a new way. 

It is not a formal exorcism although many exorcism prayers are prayed by the priest. The goal of all exorcisms is deliverance. So, prayers, like the rosary or divine mercy chaplet, and partaking in the sacraments (baptism, confession, anything with the Eucharist like Eucharistic Adoration or Mass) can deliver you from demonic bonds and spiritual wounds if you participate in the prayers and sacraments. There are special deliverance prayers or the rite of exorcism that can help deliver a person. This does not take the place of an exorcism if you need one. I recommend reading the book "Interview with an Exorcist" by Fr. Jose Antonio Fortea for understanding.

You will likely be helped by attending one of these deliverance sessions online. There are also amazing resources on the website God bless you! God's peace be with you!


Here is a link to some videos including other past deliverance videos - I suggest them, they are really good. 

[Update] a few days ago, this exorcist went to the holiest site in the world and he shares his pilgrimage grace with us in this video - very nice to remember us. 

Here is also an important video casting out the demons of shame. It's short and I like it so much, it's so impactful and life changing.

(Because I just saw this recently, I'd like to mention it here:) It's important to remember to not ever try to shame someone into believing something, nor argue with them. These are sins and so aren't from God. You can't help someone too well if you sin against them.

You will find if you are really delivered from the spirit of shame that you won't have the desire to shame others. :) Your mentality will really be different and you will have more of God's peace.

Also it is important to remember that we don't pray to control someone. That's not what prayer is. Prayer is about giving control over to God. Surrendering to God. Surrendering someone else to God. The God Who created free will, Who wants us to be trusting and peaceful little children in His arms.

6/10/23 Addition: This came up in conversation recently so I'd like to clarify the difference between the demons of lethargy, which the priest mentions and casts out, and healing sleep from God.

St. Therese mentions that there is a healing sleep. Sometimes she would fall asleep while saying the Rosary, but it was a healing sleep from God - she likened it to how a doctor puts a patient to sleep in order to perform surgery. God was healing her soul and she was asleep, being healed. This is usually a very "delicious" sleep. 

If you are praying along to this video, maybe not the first time maybe even several times later, and you nod off and sleep, that doesn't necessarily mean it is these unclean spirits of lethargy. It could be a healing sleep. I've listened to these prayers once and was falling sleep but it was very relaxing; I've been praying with my dad and my dad fell asleep. It's not the same thing.

The demons of lethargy are not pleasant. The eyes feel forced closed. The person feels dragged or weighed down. It usually stops immediately if the prayer is paused or stopped, no matter how forceful the "sleepiness" was. Immediately if you being praying again, the "lethargy" starts again. It's very weighed down. It's very forced, it's very oppressive, it's not pleasant feeling and it is to get you to stop praying.

If you keep praying when this happens, it will eventually stop. I remember when I first learned the rosary 2 decades ago, I had about a week where I would try to pray the rosary and this overwhelming, oppressive lethargy would force my eyes closed. The exorcist even says, "forcing your eyes closed." It is force. I would stand up and walk around while I was praying, and was completely unable to concentrate, and it would still feel like an external force, this unseen force, was trying to force my eyes closed. After about a week of this battle, it ended and never came back.

That's what it is.

It's very common to be healed and fall asleep in God's arms like a little child falling asleep in his/her father's arms, all cuddly and cozy. That's something else entirely and it is a fine thing to experience. I've seen people falling asleep during Eucharistic adoration and I've read about people who are converting and they fall asleep during Eucharistic adoration, in the chapel, and it is this holy sleep of a child of God in his/her Father's arms. This is a beautiful thing, a peaceful thing, and there is no force. It's very very good for your soul and from God.

You should be able to sit through these videos eventually while staying awake and following along the whole video.

Thank you.

Sunday, August 28, 2022

Do not tire of proclaiming My mercy

Here is our Divine Mercy post. It was written a while back so has been buried under newer posts, but it is still a really helpful thing to read. Please check it out.

Below are some quotes about God's Infinite Love and Mercy for sinners.

God spoke to St. Maria Faustina Kowalska, the Apostle of His Divine Mercy in 1940s Poland. These are some of the things He said about His Mercy.

Let the sinner not be afraid to approach Me. The flames of mercy are burning Me — clamoring to be spent; I want to pour them out upon these souls (Diary, 50).

Say unceasingly the chaplet [of Divine Mercy — see link to Divine Mercy post] that I have taught you. Whoever will recite it will receive great mercy at the hour of death. Priests will recommend it to sinners as their last hope of salvation. Even if there were a sinner most hardened, if he were to recite this chaplet only once, he would receive grace from My infinite mercy. I desire that the whole world know My infinite mercy. I desire to grant unimaginable graces to those souls who trust in My mercy (Diary, 687).

No soul will be justified until it turns with confidence to My mercy, and this is why the  first Sunday after Easter is to be the Feast of Mercy. On that day, priests are to tell everyone about My great and unfathomable mercy. I am making you [St Faustina] the [dispenser] of My mercy (Diary, 570).

Write, speak of My mercy. Tell souls where they are to look for solace; that is, in the Tribunal of Mercy [Sacramental Confession]. There the greatest miracles take place [and] are incessantly repeated. To avail oneself of this miracle, it is not necessary to go on a great pilgrimage or to carry out some external ceremony; it suffices to come with faith to the feet of My representative and to reveal to him one’s misery, and the miracle of Divine Mercy will be fully demonstrated (Diary, 1448).

(Misery in this case being to list one's sins.)

Pray for souls that they be not afraid to approach the tribunal of My mercy. Do not grow weary of praying for sinners. You know what a burden their souls are to My Heart. Relieve My deathly sorrow; dispense My mercy (Diary, 975).

My daughter, do not tire of proclaiming My mercy. In this way you will refresh this Heart of Mine, which burns with a flame of pity for sinners. Tell My priests that hardened sinners will repent on hearing their words when they speak about My unfathomable mercy, about the compassion I have for them in My Heart. To priests who
proclaim and extol My mercy, I will give wondrous power; I will anoint their words and touch the hearts of those to whom they will speak (Diary, 1521).

Do not put off the Sacrament of Penance [confession] because this displeases Me. Pay little attention to the murmurs of those around you.

"When you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I Myself act in your soul (Diary, 1602)."

Here is our Divine Mercy post. Please check it out.

(Also please note that when you go to confession, whether before or after, you must do everything in your power to right the wrong of your sins. For example, if you illegally downloaded something without paying, so you repent of theft, you need to them pay back what you owe. If you yelled at someone, you need to apologize and work on your anger. If you looked at pornography, you need to get rid of whatever or whomever makes it easy for you to look at pornography. If you practiced divination/occult, you need to discard all of that. If you made a false idol out of something - I've found often going to confession for it helps it go away. Same with envy. But you can also incorporate the litany of humility if you have envy. If you repent of self-hatred, you need to avoid people or situations that might encourage that. Etc. Do you see what I mean? This is a very important part of the process. It is what makes confession ... well, a real repentance. Confession is a beautiful, beautiful step towards making your life whole, to really changing and righting wrongs, putting your life in order, and being truly spiritually liberated and happy.)

Thursday, April 28, 2022

A warning about new Far/Deep Right/Left who say they are Catholic or in favor of Catholicism but are not.

Hello. I'm Tiger, author of most of the articles on the blog and daughter of BoldRadish.

I had a long debate within myself as to whether I should post this article i had written on these dangers of these extreme politics, or not.

I was worried that it would be too harsh for those who are still young in their religion and don't yet know how to suffer with Jesus. Or upsetting for those who have already decided to turn their backs on the contemporary world completely, and so who have no need to read it. 

I have no desire to lay any unnecessary burden upon anyone; Jesus said, "My yolk is easy and My burden is light." (Matthew 11:30)

It was extremely cathartic for me to write. I have suffered a lot at the hands of such persons which are the subject of the article. So I could not be objective as to whether or not it would be helpful or hurtful for others to read. ... I tried to ask my father, BoldRadish, but he has also been so deeply wounded by such persons; he also could not be objective in deciding whether it should be posted or not.

I've decided to post it on a page separated by itself, which I will link to at the bottom of this post, that you can choose to read or not, rather than to put it directly in your lap.

Previously, I had firmly decided to not share it at all, except that for several days in a row, my father commented on how much it helped him. And I can see that there is a change in his life, what he focuses on, and that it is lighter for him and better. (When he is confronted with the news, he has learned a way to dismiss it well and without offending others, and he himself spends his time looking at neat and obscure informations, rather than contemporary events.) ... My life has also been greatly unburdened after writing it. This is a rare thing, I think, to write something with a deep therapeutic effect on me.

The writing is about such persons who think they are in favor of Catholicism or who claim to be Catholic based on their idea of what our Communist anti-Catholic society (education, entertainment) claims is Catholicism, but is, in truth, the opposite of Catholicism, and is actually what happens when a very worldly society, far from private prayer and repentance to God, develops. 

One might recall Apocalypse ch 2: I know how sorely tried you are, how stricken with poverty (yet, all the while, so rich [in grace]); how your name is traduced by men who claim to be [Catholic] (though they are no true [Catholics]; they are rather the chosen people of Satan).

These politics are a great wound to suffer from for those who cling to Jesus because it is like the filth that was thrown onto Him during His Passion, to see His Love defamed in this way. Therefore, it is consolation to such persons, as well as a call to increase one's love of Him, who have suffered such great martyrdoms within themselves at the hands of such people.

But, also it could be that some persons who have not prayed enough or sought God enough, and are not yet converted, but are trying, might find it wounding, because they might see themselves in it and are not yet confident enough in God's Mercy to throw themselves to God, but rather feel beaten down by it. Or, they may find it helpful to know what to stay away from. I don't know which could happen. I don't want to hurt anyone. 

I've seen people who were starting to convert and still very much in line with the oppressive and arrogant nature of the world, and a year later after having prayed very much, have changed very much, because God has given them so much grace because of their private and sincere repentance and prayer.

And essentially it is nothing I haven't said before in all of the other posts, just arranged more specifically and acutely. This post is also things I have written before.

The message of the post is ultimately that God is love, to turn away from all current events and politics, and to instead turn towards God, forgetting the world. Because nothing within the world can save the world; only by forgetting the world and seeking God will you find peace and joy, and will the world be saved. By your increasing closeness to God, God will save the souls of those suffering in a world you have moved on from.

I say it is important to speak to God rather than about Him because God is real. Sometimes people in the early conversion think that if they show everyone how great their life is because they pray, and they show everyone that they pray, pray very publicly, that it will help other people convert. (This is not the same as a conversion story posted in an appropriate place, but more like a public display.)

In fact, this is what the Devil was tempting Jesus with in the desert: the temptation to Jesus was that if He jumped off a tower and angels saved Him, publicly, it would help people convert; or if rocks were turned to bread and people saw, they would realize that God exists.

Jesus resisted all of these temptations and did not do any of these things. He also encourages us to pray in private, in our inner chamber -- whether that be our inmost being or in a physically private room -- by telling us that those who pray publicly for others to see, their prayers don't even count -- God does not even hear such prayers.

The reason that we can evangelize by praying in private and speaking to God rather than about God is because God is real.

God is more real than the world, or I should say, the public world.

Those who are enmeshed in the public world need to step out of it; if we try to put God into the world in this showy way, they will not be leaving the world behind to become enmeshed in God.

If God weren't real, if God were as fake and empty as all the public shows and displays the world and everyone in it makes, we would have to make a public display of God.

God is more real than the world. Therefore, when we forget the world, when we pray in private, in sincerity, when we pray to be closer to God and know God more, even though we are not visually changing the world around us, the entire world, the entire spiritual world, completely changes. Even if you do not see it with your eyes. Even if the immediate world around you remains obstinate in sin. I have seen things, and been taught things, and I can tell you it is true -- that the prayers of one person -- yes, even your prayers -- make a difference in the entire world.

That is why you can read stories of Saints who offer themselves in sacrifice and save a whole country from being destroyed for its sins. This is a repeated story in the archives of convents. It is because -- God is real.

If even one person sincerely seeks God, sincerely prays for true wisdom, prays for faith, sincerely prayers to know the Truth (and the Truth is God Himself) and prays to know his/her sins and have the grace to have sincere contrition over them, prays for the grace to love God (and not just one day but all days), -- that one person WILL sincerely be closer to God. Because God is real and He will really answer these prayers. And these are intentions to ask God for every day, for one's whole life.

3 Kings ch3: And that night the Lord appeared to [young Solomon] in a dream, bidding him choose what gift he would. ... Solomon said, "Yes, Lord God, You have bidden this servant of Your's to reign where his father reigned; but, Lord, what am I? No better than a little child, that has no skill to find its way back and forth. ... Be this, then, Your gift to Your servant: wisdom, a heart quick to learn, so that I may be able to judge Your people’s disputes, and discern between good and ill." ... The Lord listened well pleased, and looked with favour on the choice he had made. "For this request of your's," God told Solomon, "you shall be rewarded. You did not ask for a long life, or riches, or vengeance upon your enemies, but for wisdom to administer justice. Your prayer is granted; hereby I grant you a heart full of wisdom and discernment, beyond all that went before you or shall come after you. And moreover, I grant you all thou did not ask for; in wealth, in glory, no king that ever was may compare with you. And if you will follow the paths I have chosen for you, as your father did, keeping  My commandments, a long life you shall have too."

Proverbs 8:11: For wisdom is better than all the most precious things: and whatsoever may be desired cannot be compared to wisdom.

Jesus in Matthew 6: I say to you, then, do not fret over your life, how to support it with food and drink; over your body, how to keep it clothed. Is not life itself a greater gift than food, the body than clothing? See how the birds of the air never sow, or reap, or gather grain into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them; have you not an excellence beyond theirs? Can any one of you, for all his anxiety, add a cubit’s growth to his height? And why should you be anxious over clothing? See how the wild lilies grow; they do not toil or spin; and yet I tell you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

If God, then, so clothes the grasses of the field, which today live and will feed the oven tomorrow, will He not be much more ready to clothe you, men of little faith?

Do not fret, then, asking, What are we to eat? or What are we to drink? or How shall we find clothing? It is for the heathen to busy themselves over such things; you have a Father in heaven who knows that you need them all.

Make it your first care to find the kingdom of Godand His approval, and all these things shall be yours without the asking.

Do not fret, then, over tomorrow; leave tomorrow to fret over its own needs; for today, today’s troubles are enough.

Book of Wisdom ch 9: Wisdom was with You, God, long ago, privy to all Your designs, she who stood by You at the world’s creation, and knows Your whole will, the whole tenor of Your commandments. From that heavenly sanctuary, that high throne of Your's, send her out still on Your errand, to be at my side too, and share my labors! How else should Your Will be made clear to me? 

For her, no secret, no riddle is too dark; her prudent counsel will be my guide, the fame of her my protection. So shall my task be accomplished as You would have it be; so shall I give this people of Your's just awards, no unworthy heir of the throne my father left me.

What God’s purpose is, how should man discover, how should his mind master the secret of the divine Will? So hesitating our human thoughts, so hazardous our conjectures! Ever the soul is weighed down by a mortal body, earth-bound cell that clogs the manifold activity of its thought.

Hard enough to read the riddle of our life here, with laborious search ascertaining what lies so close to hand; and would we trace out heaven’s mysteries too? Your purposes none may know, unless You grant Your gift of wisdom, sending out from high heaven Your own holy spirit. Thus ever were men guided by the right way, here on earth, and learned to know Your will; ever since the world began wisdom was the salve they used that have won Your favor. ( )

And when even ONE single soul -- like you, yes you -- sincerely gives itself over to God, completely, being hungry for God, and seeking Him in this personal prayer where He can be found, then every soul in the world is touched by this grace. (God tells St. Faustina in her diary.) 

If you are familiar with the Akita prophecy about how, if people don't repent, God will destroy the world, then take comfort -- if instead of worrying about the world, or trying to convince people to convert or try to control others by your prayer (you cannot control other people), if instead you seek God -- God Who is calm, Who is Peace -- then you are that one person who will be repenting, and it really honestly will change the course of events. 

This is true because God is real, and because God is Love. This is not from anything within ourselves, but because God is Love and loves us so greatly, that it saves many when even one person prays and loves God -- because God truly loves us as individuals. An individual's efforts to God matter to Him so immensely because of His Love for us as individuals. This includes your efforts, too!

There are all of these nuns and these monks cloistered in the monastic life who don't speak, or don't speak much, and who spend all day praying and contemplating God's beauty -- His Mercy, His Love, His Peace -- while they work on menial tasks and serving others. Those are the people who are saving souls from going to Heck and who are upholding the entire world. Those are the people who are active and fervent apostles for God. Those are the people who are the reason why we have not been deservedly destroyed so many times over for our sins. They are saving a world they have turned their backs on. Because they chose true wisdom -- to pray to God to know Him and love Him.

So much of what you see in the world is completely fake. Even the stuff that is real is often a lie because it is taught to us in lieu of something else that is real. It is ends up being a truth wrapped in a lie to manipulate us. And people get so worked up about it, enter rages or despairs, can't sleep at night; and all for this emptiness that is not worth it.
While you may be called to a ministry of service someday, that is not how you are going to save the world. Many people have peace talks and march armies and strive to have humanitarian efforts. It doesn't change anything, really -- does it? Or you find out something they are doing, usually for ego, is actually hurting others. I remember watching a video from an African entrepreneur who condemned Tom's (shoe store) donation of a free pair of shoes to a small village in Africa, because that means that the local shoe makers are out of work because people would rather take free shoes, so no one's life ever improves. When I was a teenager, Gap store had a Inspi(Red) campaign to help find a cure for AIDS; the company spent more money on their advertising than they actually donated. Etc. Etc, don't even get me started on the news in my country, or its education (I'm in the US). People do many publicly approved "good deeds." But they do not save the world. Because what they are doing is not real, so to speak.

And it is "not real" because it is without God. And God is Reality; God is Truth. That is why Simeon told Mary, "a sword will pierce your heart* so that the secret thoughts of many will be revealed;" because Mary perfectly possesses God, and God, Who is with her, in her heart*, is Truth. 

(For those who don't know: *Heart did not used to mean emotions or even your core; heart means your consciousness. Your active thoughts. Your spirit, as opposed to your soul. Your "reigns" or core was the kidneys. Mary kept her active thoughts about God, which is what we in Catholicism call "contemplation" or "meditation" -- both of which only mean, to think actively about God -- and her thoughts were perfect, they were not in the dark or without understanding, because she is "full of grace." Hence she was broken hearted -- stupefied with sorrow and her spirit totally run through by a sword, taking on more sorrow -- not only for Jesus' sufferings but over the salvation of our own souls, we who are sinners -- than anyone else could ever withstand. By this suffering that she offered to God, which she could in a moment of crisis from her life of contemplating Him, she became the only one in the in human race, past, present or future, who can crush the skull of the serpent; the head of God's Army and the most powerful weapon in it, higher than the angels and The Terror to demons during an exorcism; understanding that Jesus is God, not a creature but the second member of the Holy Trinity, God the Son, whereas Mary is still a creature, like us, made by the Creator.)

Prayer is the greatest work. Saint James wrote truthfully:

Here is a brother, here is a sister, going naked, left without the means to secure their daily food; if one of you says to them, "Go in peace, warm yourselves and take your fill," without providing for their bodily needs, of what use is it? [...] But wilt thou know, O vain man, that faith without works is dead?

This is, without question, true.

I grew up in a mostly upper middle class world (whereas I was not in that wealth bracket). It was a world in which ambition and competition against others were considered virtues. So often I have seen that those with food and those with clothes seek that which is only emptiness. They push God to the back or have Him in name only or very shallowly. Most of those I knew when I was young died from dismissing God and seeking the world instead. They worked and drank and sexed themselves to death. They died or were committed to a hospital or mental hospital before 30. Right up until the end, they had the approval of everyone around them; until they ceased and then the world forgot them and didn't care anymore because the love in the world is shallow and fleeting. Or they live now and are alcoholics, perhaps wealthy alcoholics because of familial ties and money. It's all so vain and empty. There's no reward to any of it. Nothing comes of it. No one in the world wants to forgive, either.

Whereas God's Love is so huge that even time itself can't contain it: only eternity can. He not only forgives but has the power to remove both sin and its payment from a person!

I have seen Catholics who also fell into this category, those who call themselves Catholic, dead inside, but winning approval from taking care of the material needs of those whom they considered far beneath them, "the little people," "the poor people." I've seen the accolades that they received from doing this. Their religion is not deep.

But what good is clothing and what good is food, and what good is approval, and what good is any of it, if you, or the person you are helping, has lost his or her soul and is headed towards Heck? Or has food but lives on emptily, with the great suffering of not knowing God? I know there was a time where I had food and a roof over my head, and I was dead inside, I did not know God, and my material existence gave me no purpose or satisfaction. For me then, had there been a trade between knowing God and starving to death, or eating and never knowing God, I would have chosen to have the true food -- which is, knowledge of God, aka true wisdom. That is why martyrs are martyrs because life without God is empty, the way faith without works is empty.

Therefore, while material generosity is the truth, it can only be real if it flows from spiritual wealth, that is, prayer; the first generosity must be to the souls of others, then to their bodies. Everything that takes place physically first took place spiritually. If those whom James addressed were not being generous to those in need, it was because they were not praying for the souls of others in private. 

When I was a child before I knew God, I endured false charity from those who called themselves Catholics, who would give me material substance when I was poor, but were insufferable because of their arrogances and vanities and lack of respect for me, other than being "the poor one I can make myself feel big by being charitable to." Or all their other sins like gossip and a general rudeness that I had to overhear to experience from them.

That only served to prove to me, in my youth, before knowing God, that surely God does not exist because why else would His people be so false? Now I know that it was because they did not pray. They had no prayer life which was private and always growing. They thought of themselves as Saints but they were not bringing souls to God; rather, they were proving to others who had no knowledge of God, by their own sins and attitudes, that God did not exist -- which is a lie. 

Their material charity flowed from their pride and vanity, not from a soul that was alive with a private relationship with God. If they prayed or talked about religion, it was so people heard them; not so that God heard them. 

In this way, their charity was false: not a blessing but a curse. The word "religion" derives from a word meaning "to tie." It is meant to tie us to God. Their religion was also false: it untied souls around them from God, and brought condemnation upon themselves, their religion and unjustly on God. But they didn't notice because they thought highly of themselves.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect: people overestimate their competence or cognitive abilities and are not able to recognize these errors. The less someone knows about a topic, the more they are likely to have strong opinions about that topic. People will endorse erroneous information if it fits their opinion. If they are surrounded by others who have the same view, they are more likely to stick to those views. A community's opinions can become social norms. Going against the predominant view of one's group risks ostracization. In one study, it was found that one-third of study subjects thought they knew as much or more than doctors and scientists about the [topic of study]. This rate was highest in people that had low levels of knowledge about and high levels of misinformation endorsement. Anyone is capable of this cognitive bias about themselves.

When this cognitive bias is applied to Catholicism, it can become dangerous to other people's souls. Because God is real; therefore to teach one's opinion about God, rather than pray to know Who God really is, hurts others. We will never fully know God on earth or even in eternity, simply by the fact that God is infinite and we are limited. But we still must be humble and pray. This is another reason why private prayer and to talk to God rather than about God 99.9% of the time is so important.

This is also why it is important to examine oneself for sin, rather than first look and accuse other people. As well as to remember that if God were not holding you in His Hand, you would be committing worse sins than they do... or what if you are, and you do not realize it, like those I have described? Because of their little true wisdom but assumption of righteousness.

With these Catholics I saw when I was young who assumed they were being charitable but convinced me of the demonic lie that God is not true, if they had rather behaved in the opposite way -- all charity done in private with sincerity, speaking to Him rather than about Him, and not even giving me anything but praying for me without my knowing it... or giving to me without any social rewards, or with respect... 

well, it was those I didn't know, off in convents and in Churches and in their private rooms, somewhere in the world whom I don't know personally and who don't know me, but they were praying for the salvation of souls; as well as my Jewish teacher who prayed for me -- I didn't know at the time, she didn't announce it, but God showed me later (as Jesus said, "salvation is from the Jews") -- it was those people who were truly sincere in their faith, who prayed to God and not to themselves, who sought God in private and who recognized spiritual poverty in the soul of those around them and in the souls of the world, who showed their faith through works of prayer, who wanted the true wisdom of knowing God -- those are the people who obtained the mystical grace for me to know God. They are the reason I am alive. They had true charity.

Matthew 25: Then shall the just answer God, saying: Lord, when did we see You hungry, and fed You; thirsty, and gave You drink? And when did we see You a stranger, and took You in? or naked, and covered You ? Or when did we see You sick or in prison, and came to You? And the king answering shall say to them: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these My least brethren, you did it to Me.

Then He shall say to them also that shall be on His left hand: Depart from Me, you cursed, into everlasting fire which was prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat: I was thirsty, and you gave me nothing to drink. I was a stranger, and you did not take took Me in: naked, and you would not cover Me: sick and in prison, and you did not visit Me.

Then they also shall answer Him, saying: Lord, when did we see You hungry, or thirsty, or a stranger, or naked, or sick, or in prison, and did not minister to You?

Then He shall answer them, saying: Amen I say to you, as long as you did it not to one of these least, neither did you do it to Me.

And these shall go into everlasting punishment: but the just, into life everlasting.

Unless what I say must be true, how is it those could have gone off to everlasting life and not understand when they had been charitable? Because surely they would have remembered the physical act of tending the sick or visiting prisoners. And how could the danged have not known when they did not do the Will of God? How could these people have not known what their own actions were?

These ones in the world, possibly far away, in convents, knowing God and praying to Him, saved me from this prison and illness of not knowing God. They fed me with graces and quenched the thirst of my dryness of soul. They led to my being clothed by God with His forgiveness, obtaining for me the grace of repentance.

And they do not know that they did so.

It must first begin and end with private prayer, with the sincere desire to know and be with God.

As you can see, it requires graces from God to love Him more than oneself and more than approval from others. This is a hard obstacle to overcome; but:

Hebrews 4: God’s Word to us is something alive, full of energy; it can penetrate deeper than any two-edged sword, reaching the very division between soul and spirit, between joints and marrow, quick to distinguish every thought and design in our hearts. From Him, no creature can be hidden; everything lies bare, everything is brought face to face with Him, this God to whom we must give our account. Let us hold fast, then, by the faith we profess. We can claim a great high priest, and one who has passed right up through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God. 

And this High Priest of our's is not without compassion on our weaknesses; He was tempted in all things the way we are tempted, yet is without sin. Therefore, let us go with confidence to the Throne of Grace that we may obtain mercy, and win that grace which will help us in our needs.

[This throne of grace being prayer, the Sacraments such as Baptism, Confession, and the core of everything, the Holy Eucharist; as well as the intercession of Mary and the angels and Saints of Heaven, who have also becomes "seats of wisdom" through the holiness of their lives.]

Luke 2:14: Glory to God in the Highest and peace on earth to those of good will, on whom God's favor rests!

 Surely His favor rests most securely on those who want wisdom of Him. To tell God that He is infinite and we are finite and therefore He must teach us about Himself is a great act in opposition to our tendency towards pride. It is an openness to God, an act of Trust in Him and His Infinite Mercy and Love which He appreciates more dearly than we can understand. We must come to where He can be found, the throne of grace and contemplation, with an interest in Him, a desire for fulfillment of a deep longing and emptiness in the soul.

Job 28: But where is wisdom to be found, and where is the place of understanding? People do not know the price of wisdom, neither is it found in the land of those who live in worldly delights.

The deep said: It is not in me; and the sea said: It is not with me. The finest gold shall not purchase wisdom, neither shall silver be weighed in exchange for it. It shall not be compared with the vibrant dyed colors of India, or with the most precious stone sardonyx, or the sapphire. Gold or crystal cannot equal it, neither shall any vessels of gold be changed for it.  The topaz of Ethiopia shall not be equal to it, neither shall it be compared to the cleanest dyeing.

High and eminent things shall not be mentioned in comparison of it: but wisdom is drawn out of secret places.

From whence, then, comes wisdom? and where is the place of understanding?

It is hidden from the eyes of all living, and the fowls of the air don't know it. Destruction and death have said: With our ears we have heard of it.

God understands the way of wisdom, and he knows where it is.

For He beholds the ends of the world: and looks on all things that are under heaven. Who made a weight for the winds, and weighed the waters by measure. When He gave a law for the rain, and a way for the sounding storms. Then He saw it, and declared, and prepared, and examined it.

And He said to mankind: Behold the fear of the Lord, that is wisdom: and to depart from evil, is understanding.

And if I see those around me who are wealthy, but that they are lost, seeking worldly emptiness, or in sin, and I do not pray even a general prayer to God "for all those I know, know of, who know me, and who know of me," or "for the salvation of souls," then... what is my faith? What good does all their material wealth do, all their ambition, all the approval they receive from their families and friends and society? 

Matthew 16: For he that will save his life, shall lose it: and he that shall lose his life for My sake, shall find it. How is a man the better for it if he gains the whole world at the cost of losing his own soul? For a man’s soul, what price can be high enough?

St. James, 2:26: For even as the body without the spirit is dead; so also faith without works is dead.

Do you understand now, a little, why it will only be through this private prayer that God will save the world? This is in imitation of Jesus -- He spent the first 30 years of His Life saving souls through His private prayer, and even while out on His Ministry spent most of His time in prayer. He endured His Passion by prayer. How everyone's prayerful praise must have been when they saw Him on His Resurrection, Ascension, and during the coming of the Holy Spirit.

It is all by prayer. Sincere prayer. Personal and private prayer. It must be through this sincere thirst for God, which you yourself in your own words must ask God to arouse within you. Thirst for Him is a great grace, that can only come from God Himself, and He will freely give it to you, if you should happen to beg Him for it, because all He wants is to be close to you, and you to Him.

And all your soul dearly wants is to be close to Him. Only in God can your soul find rest and satisfaction. You can distract your heart with all the cares and worries about the world, or [sadly in our time, often sinful] pleasures the world has to offer, or striving after things the world says are necessary for joy -- fame, popularity, approval from others, wealth, relationships, current events and schools of thought and behavior -- your soul will have emptiness, now during your life as well as upon your death, when you realize you wasted your life, which was given to you to learn about God.

That is why those in convents do more to save the world than all the people still in the world. They also save the immortal souls of those who are dying from eternal ruin, through their love of God and their contemplation of His aspects and splendors, such as His Love. And this is of more importance than anything else. This is the most dear work you can do, the one that consoles the infinitely tender and merciful Heart of Jesus.

It's so funny: all the suffering in the world, all the effort, all the money, all the display, all the scheming; yet actually doing anything beneficial costs nothing, and is both liberating and consoling rather than burdening.

... You don't have to join a convent, unless God calls you and you have the strength and health for it, but in your own day-to-day life, you are called to be a little nun or a little monk, praying and contemplating to Him. Right where you are now. (I recall this is what Benedict XVI said. This is good to think about. Another priest once told me, that I ought to be a nun and that nuns are the happiest people he knows. -- I can't due to health, but I can strive for this in my personal life. Anyone can. At least, for the pursuit of true happiness. It is not a game or a metaphor, but real -- God sees our efforts and blesses them, however little and feeble they are. Afterall, He wants us to be His children, and a child's efforts are often very little, because children are little.)

(I have written things like this before; I know. Another reason I thought maybe it is not worth it to post all this.)

So yes, in the article I do touch on the potential dangers these radical political movements could cause, by associating themselves falsely with Catholicism or by feigning to be Catholic themselves, but if you turn away from all of it in the world, it is not necessary to read. But if you do read it, perhaps for consolation and guidance, perhaps because you have suffered at these senseless and lost thoughts, should it afford you consolation, then at least remember while reading it:

Pardon me: it was written from pain and emotion and was beneficial to both of us, both me and my father, and I hope it is okay for others to read, but if not, please pardon me, neither of us could look at it objectively; you can always stop reading it if you want, you don't have to read to the end; and--

While you must avoid bad people, you also must forgive them and not hold rancor in your heart, if you want to enter Heaven or have a relationship with God. He is meek and humble of heart; the world only offers lost and senseless thoughts. God wants to save all souls. Remember what Jesus also said in ch 2 of Apocalypse (which is a really great chapter, very encouraging, I recommend reading it): 

Yet there is one charge I make against you; of losing the charity that was your's at first. Remember the height from which you have fallen, and repent, and go back to the old ways; or else I will come to visit you and, when I find you still unrepentant, will remove your candlestick from its place.

And again in Matthew ch 24: 

Now all these are the beginnings of sorrows... In those days, people will give you up to persecution, and will put you to death; all the world will be hating you because you bear my name; whereupon many will lose heart, will betray and hate one another. Many false prophets will arise, and many will be deceived by them; and the charity [love] of most will grow cold as they see wickedness abound everywhere; but the one will be saved who endures [in charity] to the last. 

Remember too that: God is calm. Bitter zeal is not a virtue; peace is. Virtue comes from God when we ask Him for it; He will give it to you because He loves you beyond what human or angelic mind can fathom. 

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hoped it helped be encouraging in some way. God bless you and your day. 

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Monday, January 31, 2022

Mary of Egypt (c. 344 – c. 421)

update - please pray along with the deliverance videos at for spiritual help in overcoming impurities.

Mary of Egypt (c. 344 – c. 421) highly venerated as a Desert Mother in the Eastern Orthodox and Coptic Churches. The Roman Catholic Church commemorates her as a patron saint of penitents.

At the age of twelve, she ran away from her parents to the city of Alexandria. Here she lived an extremely dissolute life (The meaning of DISSOLUTE is lacking restraint; especially: marked by indulgence in things (such as drink or promiscuous sex). She often refused the money offered for her sexual favors, as she was driven "by an insatiable and an irrepressible passion," and that she mainly lived by begging, supplemented by spinning flax.

Later in life, she went on a pilgrimage to Jerusalem for the purpose of finding more partners. She attempted to enter the Church of the Holy Sepulchre (that is, the Church built around the tomb Jesus Resurrected from) and she could not enter the Church because of her many sins of impurity.

Realizing her sins were real and were affecting her soul, she was struck with intense remorse and prayed in front of an Icon of the Blessed Virgin which was outside of the Church. She begged God for forgiveness and promised to give up the world, and then she could enter the Church.

She venerated a piece of the True Cross on which Jesus had been Crucified centuries before. She returned to the Icon to give thanks, and God told her: "If you cross the Jordan, you will find glorious rest." Across the Jordan was the Monestary of Saint John the Baptist. She entered, gave her confession and received absolution (meaning, with a priest acting as a tool for God, God granted her total forgiveness of her sins, John 20:22-23) and received Holy Communion. Her soul found glorious rest in God.

The next day she entered the desert the live the rest of her life as a hermit.

We can see that a very dissolute person can turn to God with His help and the prayers of His Mother. That if you have remorse and sincerely want Him, God permits you to find Him. Even if we cannot walk into a physical desert to be hermits, we can live a life in the joy of knowing and seeking God, instead of the passing things of the world, and find rest for our souls.