Thursday, September 22, 2016

Why isn't my prayer answered/is it a curse to not have what I want in life?

I get a lot of messages from parents who want fame and fortune and a good name and/or marriage for their children.

And they say they are cursed because they don't have these things. Or because something bad happened to them.

First of all, I believe in curses because I've seen them. I've seen them ruin lives, I really have. If you read my posts about how friends or family or coworkers can curse you even with the evil of their own hearts, it includes Biblical quotes and quotes from Saints and exorcists.

So I'm not saying that it isn't a curse or that curses don't exist.

But consider a couple of things, too:
God can't bless us if we are living in sin. 
Therefore, the first thing we should pray for is illumination about our sins in the Light of God's Infinite Mercy.

"But I see so many sinners with such nice stuff!"

That doesn't mean they are blessed.

Satan puts no obstacles between a soul and Hell, and attaching a human heart onto all manner of passing worldly things is a quick and easy path to Hell.

Over and over again, He says in the Bible that He can't bless us if we are living in sin. See Divine Mercy articles for God's Mercy in detaching us from sin.

He can't give us anything we pray for if we aren't actively growing in our relationship with Him.
If He did give us what we asked for and we weren't actively growing in our relationship with Him, we would make a false idol out of it, and our hearts would be attached to that thing or person that we got rather than to God.

It wouldn't make us happy. It would ultimately make us miserable, not only in eternity but even in this life.

Think of how many famous, wealthy, successful, married people are COMPLETELY miserable.

MOST of them. 99.99% of them.

It's because of only one reason: they did not seek to depend totally on God.

Only God can fulfill us.

Money and success aren't evil in and of themselves. They're neutral.

But human hearts are weak and quickly make attachments to things, these disordered attachments that go above God. That attachment above God, the being dazzled with whatever it is that is taking our sight off of God, is what is evil.

That attachment is what a false idol is.

I see that someone prays because they are looked down upon. They say because they are looked down upon, they have a shame curse upon them.

I think that, depending on the situation, it might be that a parent making such a prayer request and having such an outlook, might actually be the one guilty of shame cursing his or her children to make those demands of them, getting married and having a high paying job, without considering what God's mysterious Will is for the children.

Discovering God's Will requires so much prayer.

It might be that you have never ever considered what God's Will is until now. Or that you thought prayer was sort of like making a wish on a star or rubbing a genie's lamp and getting a wish.

But God has a will for us, He is not just a mindless "universe" or something that, if we please Him by saying the "right" words or doing the right things or lighting the right colored candle, He'll magically grant us all we ask for.

No, He actually has a will of His own. You often hear the phrase, "God has a plan for us." They're referring to God's Will.

When we don't get what we pray for but instead submit to God's Will and continue to grow in our relationship with Him, He grants us something much better.

Beyond what we could have even thought to ask for. DEEPER than what we could have thought to ask for.

I see this with New Agers. They say things like, "well I'm affirming that I'll get these new pair of shoes. Are you saying God doesn't WANT me to have shoes?"

Shoes, no shoes, it doesn't matter. It's so trivial compared to what God has planned for you.

The material world is so trivial and small and, quite frankly, boring compared to the plans God has made for Him and you together.

But, whatever problems you have in the material world, talk to God about them. Talk to Him about EVERYTHING.

Nothing is too small or insignificant to talk to God about. He will enlighten you.

He would help that person understand why she wants those shoes so badly. He would heal the deeper wounds that caused her to become so brittle, so in pain, so striving, so hungry for something to try to fill her up and make her feel like someone important.

(Shoes can't do that, by the way. Shoes can be nice, but they cannot fulfill the deeper emotional longing that is destroying her life.)

God works so deeply. He is so profound and beautiful. He sees so clearly into the depths of our hearts. He knows us better than we know ourselves, far, far better. He is so infinitely wise, smart, clever, generous, helpful.


So yes, bring everything to Him.

Entrust yourself to Him. He has bigger and better plans than we have ever seen or could ever dream of.

He will fulfill you beyond ANYTHING ELSE. ANYTHING. Relationships, family, shoes, money, a good name, beyond any vice, beyond alcohol or drugs or every sexual partner, beyond gossip or whatever the vice.

That is how people give up their vices in favor of God's grace. Heroin addicts, that drug goes straight to the brain, manipulates the chemicals like a master pianist plays a piano. They will do anything to get their next fix, sell their souls, degrade themselves with prostitution, far beyond what they ever could have imagined they'd ever be willing to do for something. Because that drug so thoroughly manipulates their brains.

And even they give up their false god of their drug because of God's grace, in order to seek God, to experience God in prayer, to have a connection to God.

False gods, no matter how perfect, are never as perfect or fulfilling as God.

All of what the world has to offer is so small, so nothing, so BORING compared to what God has that He wants to share with you. To even be able to communicate with God is so amazing a grace. To even be able to meditate on His Passion has the potential to bring so much into your life.

Seek God first. The rest of your life will fall into place.

There's nothing wrong with having a good paying job or being married or whatever (non-vice), but it might be a shame curse to say that your kids or you are shameful or cursed for NOT having those things.

Those are pretty strong words, saying you're cursed just because your life isn't going as you planned it or because some potentially very worldly people are looking in onto your life from the outside and judging it.

People can be mind-bogglingly shallow: their opinion of you does not determine if you're cursed or not. (Thank goodness.)

They can hurt you with their opinion and insensitivity, and then you might consider if it isn't like a curse to even know such a person because they are so shallow and worldly. Some people, it really is like a curse to know them because they are so worldly. Sometimes, it is a burden we have to carry, a daily cross, because that is human nature when it hasn't sought God.

God will comfort you from all of their hurt, though. Turn to God.

You also might consider if you have ever done anything like that to anyone else, if you have judged someone else in misfortune with insensitivity. And maybe if this isn't God's way of trying to teach you empathy.

I don't know, of course, but it might be something to pray about.

Consider too if suffering isn't a way to get closer to God.

If you read many of the posts on here, which include my personal experiences, by suffering and praying, meditating on the Passion of Christ, I have grown much more to understand Jesus' Passion. This increases a soul's love for God and eternal merit.

But without a close relationship to God, without praying and meditating and reading the works of wise and enlightened Saints (I recommend a few good books in these posts), suffering is confusing, pointless, meaningless, and leads only to more misery.

Does one really know if it is a CURSE to not be married or have wealth or have a good family name? What if it is God's Will so that you can become detached from these things and attached only to God?

That is the greater blessing.

Also consider, what is God's timing for your children or your own life? Does God even WANT your children to have those things? Does He want them to have them right now, or ever?

Isn't the REAL curse to be living in sin and far from God and having your heart entangled with false idols that make you so miserable because you don't have exactly what you want, which wouldn't make you happy anyway?

(Or, a real curse which leads to having a demonic force acting in your life, making you demonically possessed, oppressed, or afflicted.)

Some people can't have a high paying job without it going to their heads and they become very worldly and attached to money or to their own strength, and they forget about God. This can cause them to go to Hell for all eternity. They can't handle it. All eternity, not just a million years or a billion years or a trillion years, but forever. Over some stupid money or a relationship, that took precedence over God in what that person worries about.

When we have a worry, we SHOULD ALWAYS bring it to God. If it's money or a relationship or whatever. We NEED to communicate with God about everything. Every opinion we have, every anything.

We just also need to pray for the intention to be able to hear God, and respond to Him.

Because... hearing God is the only thing that will fulfill us.

There is nothing greater than hearing the voice of God, and those who are touched by it become consumed with it, in a joy greater than anything on Earth, because it is the joy of Heaven itself.

because God's voice is the voice of mercy itself, which brought everything into existence, out of His own Love for us.

Those might just sound like words, but to a soul that has been touched by God, it is awe, it is everything.

And at the same time, it is just the start, because the soul that tastes God, needs more God, and can never stop needing more.


Many people I tell that to say back to me, "But I AM detached for sin and idols and etc. I DO love God more than anything!"

I sort of feel like if you are saying that, then you aren't detached enough from sin and false idols or seeking God enough. (Like they say, thinking you have no sin is the greatest sin of all because it keeps you from God's Mercy acting on your sins.)

Because people who really strive for a close relationship to God always know that they can get closer to Him.

And they always WANT to.

God is infinite, we can get infinitely closer to Him. Those people know that they can be purified more and more from sin and from the influences of the world (idols). They don't say, "yes, I'm close enough!" With love, there is never enough, and a real, personal relationship with God is completely based on love for Him, spawning from getting to know His love for us.

People consider themselves CHILDREN of God. That is how close they are.

That's not an abstraction or just, sort of sweet or cute saying: there are actually people on this planet and in our human history who have felt so consumed with God's Love that they have felt CLOSER to God than a small child feels towards his parents.

Isn't that remarkable? Isn't that amazing? Isn't that ... just, out of this world? Can you imagine that?

Have you ever seen a little child? Mum goes to the bathroom to take a shower and the kid has his hand under the door and is crying because mum is out of sight for even a few minutes.

Dad picks up the kid and the kid falls asleep in his arms because he is so comfortable.

And people actually FEEL closer to God than that. Really! Right now!

They trust in Him so much that they don't even worry about money or marriage or what people gossip about!

Crazy, right? It's just... remarkable, how could we have a God that is so strong and capable of... of really filling us up so much? Nothing in this world fills us up that much. Even parents don't, when you get old enough and realize they are imperfect.

Trust in God. Submit to God's Will. Learn who God is. Pray. Hope. Don't worry. Remove curses, sins, and false idols. And grow closer to God.

And then, if what you pray for happens, it happens, if it doesn't, God will give you something even better, and you'll come to get closer to Him, and that will be what makes you happy and fulfilled.

Even if you get what you want, you won't be happy because of what you have: you'll be happy because you are closer to God.

God, Who is Love and Joy and Mercy.

God is wisdom. Seek wisdom. Seek God.

Read this easy-to-read article explaining what idolatry is and how it makes us miserable and how to counter it! It is an inspired article: I prayed a long time and suffered greatly before writing this article. It will help you!

Side note: Whatever the intention is, wealth and marriage or overcoming sin, whatever it is AT ALL, big or small, we always pray for it, every day, for every intention, putting it in God's Hands, and letting Him decide what to do.

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